Customer Reviews: Birdemic: Shock and Terror [Blu-ray]
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on February 23, 2011
It is difficult if not impossible to rate a movie like this. On a pure movie-making standpoint this movie achieves negative stars, so many negative stars. It has to. Otherwise giving it even one star would create a wickedly skewed curve in all of movie-creation that makes the worst of the very worst movies you have ever seen Five-Star movies. Yes. This movie is so terrible that it makes EVERY MOVIE EVER MADE a five-star movie. The Room, through Plan Nine, up to Inception on through Citizen Cane and Casablanca. Every. One. Of them. Now five-star movies.

The plot? What plot? The text message you just got from your 12-year-old child composed in net-speak has more of a plot than this thing. Basically we have a hero, a heroine, some secondary characters and stuff happening and, oh yeah, some eagles have achieved single-positional, non propulsive, flight and are being generally annoying and sort-of lethal to the population of Somewhere, California. Our heroes are some lame ad-guy who is a millionaire but takes his love interests on dates in the locally-owned Mexican restaurants our heroine is a pretty young model talent who gets her pictures taken in the strip-mall photo shop and has, somehow, become the cover model for direct-mail catalogs for Victoria's Secret. The two meet completely by chance and creepy stalker-like behavior and are so turned-off by life they decide to go out on a couple of dates before rubbing uglies in an hourly-rate motel by the interstate. Remember, our lead male recently became a millionaire from business dealings and our lead female is a cover model for a major lingerie chain, it's at about this point the birds of the world turn into "CGI" sprites and begin "attacking" people at random. And by "attack" I mean they hover around them, squawk like seagulls and are capable of expelling an acidic venom although they do this only once. Random things happen, random vehicles pull in and out of parking places and then things just stop. It makes "The Happening" look well thought-out and executed.

The audio is very jumpy (movie's fault not the disc's) as in one shot the actor's voice is mostly audible and in the next shot the actor's voice is drowned out by background noise, the whole movie was also apparently shot on that VHS Camcorder that's been hiding in your parent's attic for the last 15 years, the "CGI" is done on the 400MHz computer sitting next to it and somehow looks less like a bird than the sprites in "Duck Hunt" did on the Nintendo, heck, the animals on your Farmville plot look more realistic. Dialogue is muddied by actors who weren't taught to annunciate and by a production so broke apparently no second takes occurred causing much of the dialogue to seem like the final take of a scene was also the dress rehearsal for the scene.

So, you may be wondering why I find it hard to rate this movie it's obviously terrible.

Well.... It's so terrible you simply have to see it. It'll shock and confuse you on how this production was financed, produced and distributed. Money has been invested in this thing. And it's absolutely terrible. You have to see it to believe it, do it with some friends, some drinks and some coat hangers (you'll find out). So on a movie level it's no-stars. On an entertainment value? Five stars. Seriously, you'll laugh at how bad this movie is and remember making a better movie for your 9th-Grade Mass Media class.
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VINE VOICEon February 25, 2011
This film might quite possibly be the ne plus ultra of bad filmmaking, Ed Wood, Jr. notwithstanding. And I almost missed it. The first scene, a thoroughly quotidian scene in which the film's dashing young hero enters a restaurant and is shown to a booth, was so bad that I nearly stopped the movie after that single minute. But something, perhaps that apparently inborn trait that draws us, like moths to bug zappers, to the grotesque in life--traffic accidents, open wounds, Lindsay Lohan--or maybe just the laziness that comes with a Y chromosome and keeps me from extending the energy to push the remote, made me keep watching. And to think what I would have missed!

Birdemic is astonishingly inept. The coverage, for instance, during any of the conversations in the film is embarrassingly bad with the result that there are unnatural pauses interspersed throughout any conversation (the flaw that nearly prevented me from watching the film). Or perhaps it's the editing that truly sucks. A few shots should have ended long before they actually did. At any rate, the film moves along ineptly for a good 15 or 20 minutes until it achieves its true glory, something hinted at in a few scenes but never fully realized until the middle of the film. I'm talking about the special effects.

There is a scene early in the film in which the aforementioned dashing hero and the fetching heroine are on a date. Those who have seen the date montage for Leslie Nielsen and Priscilla Presley from, I think, the first Naked Gun film will understand the true beauty of this scene. The young soon-to-be lovers pause to admire three birds hovering near a tree. The problem is that the birds look less real than the atomic octopus sans motor in Ed Wood's Bride of the Monster. Technology has given us amazing CGI, but true auteurs, like James Nguyen, whose mess Birdemic is, have an ineptitude that transcends the march of progress. So we find out when the birds attack.

For those who are not familiar with avian martial strategy, it is, I gather much the same the world over. The birds make sounds like WWII airplanes and then dive bomb their targets. Upon reaching these targets, they explode. Bird boom pow. At this point in the film, I was a bit confused. I had not known that birds explode, but later, a scientist appears a la War Games's Falken (albeit without the fun video) and explains that global warming is to blame and that, apparently, one of the well-known effects of the death of krill in the oceans is exploding birds. I may have missed some of the technical points of this tendentious character's bloviating, but I think I got the gist.
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TOP 1000 REVIEWERon August 12, 2013
The very fact that this movie exists is enough to make you want to fling yourself from a very high place. Birdemic: Shock and Terror is that rare film that makes any other film you watch look like Stanley Kubrick. Thought Plan 9 From Outer Space was the height of cinematic ineptitude? Think again. Thought The Room contained the lowpoint (highpoint?) of terrible acting? Think again. Thought Manos: The Hands Of Fate was the cheapest film ever made? Nope. Birdemic takes your perception of bad to a new level.

To list everything bad about this movie would be to embark on a quest to the very bowels of cinematic HELL. Birdemic is not only an insult to thrillers and Hitchcock's The Birds, but to movies, to special effects, to actors, directors, audiences, and the very nature of birds.

How bad is Birdemic: Shock and Terror? The acting is worse than Nicholas Cage in The Wicker Man, Tommy Wiseau in The Room, and Taylor Lautner in anything rolled up in one. It is so wooden it makes your highschool play actors look like Brando in Streetcar, so inconceivably, unfathomably, shockingly, gratingly atrocious you may no longer wish to be alive.
The special effects are so bad they must have been made by a 12-year old with Microsoft Powerpoint on one of those old computers running on DOS in 1985. It is so bad they make you feel that all that is good in the world has been burned, pissed on, and the ashes burned again, while looping seagull sounds play endlessly. The screenplay is non-existent, as the story shambles along at it's own pace. The dialogue is so atrociously bad it makes "NOT THE BEES MY EYES OH MY EEYYYYESSS!" and "YOU'RE TEARING ME APART, LISA!" sound like Olivier monologuing Hamlet. Birdemic contains such gems as these: "The eagles killed our friends", and "I hear a mountain lion! I gotta get back to my house, and you better get to your car", and "Man, that was a good movie! An Inconvenient Truth."
Technologically, this movie is non-existent. Screw sound editing, because, heck, who needs it? First take is wooden and laughable? It's fine, we'll take it. Can't afford CGI, or even a real bird? Scratch that, Google "eagle flying GIF", we'll use that.

And the birds, OH THE BIRDS! I'm not sure I even want to live anymore. Are they...are they...DIVEBOMBING? With plane sounds? The birds only appear in three poses, hovering in mid air, all of them with the same annoying seagull sounds, spewing bird acid at people. REALLY? There's bad CGI, there's terrible CGI, there's Sharknado, and then there's Birdemic. There's non-threatening villains, there's laughable villains, there's Eegah!, and then there's the birds from Birdemic.

This is not just bad. This is beyond terrible. This so atrociously, utterly, mindblowingly awful it represents a new low for the cinematic media. But you know, the GOOD/BAD scale is not a line, but rather a CIRCLE. A film can go all the way from good to bad to terrible into BAD-GOOD territory. Birdemic is the most bad-good disaster ever made. So unintentionally hilarious with it's childish acting, awful pacing, message so preachy it doesn't beat you over the head with it's message so much as bludgeon you to death with it, and worst the absolute WORST special effects you have ever or will ever see.

Unlike some Bad-Bad movies (Grown Ups 2, White Chicks), which you should definitely NOT watch, Birdemic is a Bad-GOOD movie. It is so bad it is hilarious, so terrible it is classic, so awful it is genius.

My rating? Zero birds out of Five. Or rather, Five coat-hangers out of five.
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VINE VOICEon August 28, 2012
Holy crap...

For the interest of full disclosure, I didn't actually buy this product from Amazon. I watched Birdemic on YouTube where it is completely free for anyone willing to put up 90 minutes of their time that they will never ever get back.

To start, I feel like I should point out that I'm very seasoned in the world of "bad movies." I own (among other titles) Glen or Glenda, Plan 9, Bride of the Monster, Reptilicus, StarCrash, Flash Gordon, Sinbad of the Seven Seas, Konga, Dragon Wars, Robot Monster, and every MST3k DVD box set except the unbelievably expensive vol 9. I heartily enjoy movies that are so bad they're entertaining. "Birdemic" is not one of those movies.

It can basically be split into two parts:

Part 1: Rod is a software salesman, Natalie is a model. They meet in a restaurant, talk, date, then fall in love. This takes 47 minutes. If you're wondering how this could possibly take the better part of an hour, please be informed that you will see tons of scenes of people parking cars, walking in and out of houses, and Natalie having unbelievably awkward conversations with her planet-sized mom. You will see Rod succeed at his job, in a way that is filmed as though it were a cutscene from a PS1 videogame. You will also see a handful of Natalie/Rod dates, which should prove to be cautionary examples of exactly what not to do on a date, including stilted dialogue, questions that sound more like a job interview than any known normal social interaction, ridiculous dancing to a karaoke R&B singer, and going on a DOUBLE DATE to a filming of AN INCONVENIENT TRUTH!!!! Nothing against Al Gore and his honestly legitimate but occasionally ill-executed crusade to convince people to give an actual damn about the planet they live on, but an honest-to-god DOUBLE DATE to his SLIDE SHOW MOVIE????? SERIOUSLY?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!??!?!?!?!?!?!

Part 2: The bird attack. This is the remainder of the movie... kind of. Rod and Natalie spend a night in a cheap hotel room (despite the fact that Rod seems to have a pretty awesome house to take her home to), wake up to find that out of nowhere (literally, there is ZERO foreshadowing to this event) eagles are attacking their hotel. I say eagles, but what I actually mean are flying_eagle.gif graphics overlayed on any given scene. That means that the eagles stay stationary whenever the camera moves. Its ungodly bad. Rod goes to the next room where he finds a random guy named Ramses and his girlfriend. The four of them swing hotel coat hangers at the CG birds long enough to escape to someone's crappy van where they drive around, pick up two kids who's parents were killed by the eagles, pay too much for gas, get sort of robbed by a fat cowboy, find their double date friends from earlier dead from the eagles, meet a hippie who lives in a tree, then they catch a fish and cook it on the beach til the birds leave for no reason and the credits roll.

To me there are three types of bad movies:

1. The type that are well funded and should really know better. (see the Transformer series, or the new Star Wars trilogy)
2. The type that are low budget, but cynical and clearly have less than artistic goals behind them. (see Monster-A-Go-Go or Santa and the Ice Cream Bunny)
3. The sincere, noble failures. These films are done by people who really have a passion for movies and a strong desire to make one of their own, but none of the resources or talent to make anything resembling good one (see Ed Wood's output during the 50's, Robot Monster, Teenagers From Outer Space, etc.)

This film clearly falls into #3's category. This guy wanted to make a movie, really loved Hitchcock's "The Birds" and did the best with what he had (which seems to only be a video camera and a laptop for special effects). But that by itself does not make for an entertaining experience. Where to begin? The sound editing is consistently horrible. At no point does the director try to cover up whatever white noise is going on in the background, nor does he try to sync it with whats going on, making every cut extremely noticeable. Second, the movie has tons of padding. None of the first 40 minutes matter at all. Character development would be one thing, but at no point do Rod and Natalie seem like actual people. That would be dismissible enough if the bird attacks had any weight to them, but regardless of the terrible special effects, none of the post-attack events flow into the next to provide any kind of building action. Things just happen, then other things happen, none of it building to anything else. An environmental message is clumsily tacked on to a few scenes, but even then no one seem to know any motivation for any given part.

The saddest part of all of this is that while its all baffling and unbelievable, none of it really that interesting in even an ironic sense. This is simply an awful movie, boring from start to finish.

I know throwing stones at a movie like Birdemic is essentially pointless. The only people who even see a movie like this are here just to point and laugh at a complete failure. While this movie succeeds at being a complete failure, it doesn't do so in a way that merits repeated or even an initial viewing. There are other terrible movies out there that reward your attention better than Birdemic.

If you want a bad movie that's worth repeated viewings, check out R.O.T.O.R. or Super Infra-Man or StarCrash or Viva Knievel or Dragon Wars or Robot Monster or Megaforce or the obvious choice, Plan 9 From Outer Space.

But trust me, there is no reason at all to check out Birdemic. Everything you see on the 13 minute "best of" on YouTube is literally all that's worth seeing. Save your devotion for a terrible movie that's actually worth your time.
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on December 4, 2010
Words alone won't do Birdemic justice. This isn't a movie, it's an experience. Like having your brain fried on LSD, spritzed with lemon juice and tossed into the grand canyon.

Plan 9 From Outer Space? The Room? Rank amateurs compared to the brilliance of James Nguyen. This movie has everything: Exploding birds, romantic thrills, mountain lions and the most mind-blowing anti-acting you'll ever witness.

Grab a bottle of vodka and a coat hangar, pop in this movie with a bunch of friends and prepare for the greatest night of your life.
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on September 8, 2011
Yes, one star for the worst film I have seen in years....and years....and years. I made the mistake of purchasing this on blu-ray. BLU-RAY for heaven's sake! This is more amaturish than a film I made at six years old with a 16mm bell and howell. Looks as if the film-makers are attempting to beat Ed Wood's "Plan 9 From Outer Space" for the worst film made. Wood's film IS terrible - but certainly it is technically hands and feet above this garbage. I would give a terrible movie (but one fun for that reason) five stars if there was a serious attempt to present a film with any technical merit. Absolutely nothing in this film shows techincal adequacy. The soundtrack is full of sound mismatching - or total dropouts. The special effects (eagles or whatever) are so laughable that it seems the film-makers are relying on people to see the film (or review it here) just for the fun of seeing something truly crappy (and that's very kind, indeed.) Watching this film is difficult due to its techincal inadequacy - specially the sound. Watch ten minutes for a laugh at how horrible a film can be. Then go on to better things (which will be so easy you won't have to even think about it.) But don't praise and give credit to film-makers who obviously intend to make a terrible movie hoping to get praise for a "so bad it's good" film when they really show no talent and certainly do a disservice to the film's actors and to its audience.
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on May 22, 2013
Reasons I loved this movie:

- Getting scratched on the face is a fatal injury
- A character says, in all seriousness, "I hear a mountain lion. I've got to go."
- Its message is a profoundly confused ecological sermon, and from beginning to end it is anything but subtle.
- All of the fatal scratch injuries look like vaginas made of play-doh.
- Exploding killer birds, you guys!
- Forest fires consist of a few burning branches.
- Traffic continues as normal, even though the wise forest hippie says the birds are only attacking people in their cars or at gas stations.
- Some more brilliant dialogue. "Oh look, a fishing rod. Maybe I can catch a fish. Oh look, a stove. We can cook it."
- Global warming causes bird flu and SARS.
- The bold choice of recording all sound for the film with what sounds like a circa-1970s tape recorder.
- The unnatural, awkward first date dialogue that everyone in the movie uses throughout, with Pinter-esque pauses between each line.
-There is zero explanation of why the birds attack or why they stop.
- The painfully long and awkward final scene in which the survivors stare out at the dozen or so birds flying away over the ocean, and the birds make no progress at all.

But by far, my favorite aspect of the movie is the digital effects, which completely speak for themselves.
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HALL OF FAMEon August 7, 2011
As most reviewers have unanimously agreed, This is the "best" worst movie ever made. I just think it's THE worst movie ever made! Granted, I howled in sheer disbelief at the hilariously awful bird effects, but that certainly isn't meant to be complimentary. Writer/director (?) James Nguyen may have been a precocious child running around making home movies with his family but he evidently suffers from Peter Pan syndrome and has never grown up.
There are no redeeming qualities and its undeserved cult status has prompted an upcoming sequel called BIRDEMIC - THE RESURRECTION and Alan Bagh is reprising his role as Rod. If Bagh isn't the worst actor in cinematic history, I don't know who is. I won't go into the other horrible "actors", the absence of sound editing, the pompous global warming warning. The birds sum it up---unless you want to experience the most embarrasing 90 minutes in the anals (oops..annals) of movie history, AVOID.
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Manos, the Hands of Fate.Showgirls.Troll 2.The Room. And now we have "Birdemic."

Nothing I say about this movie really matters. It has joined the small but notorious ranks of movies that are so utterly horrible, they become classic comedies -- it's a Z-grade "romantic thriller" (neither romantic nor thrilling) which tells us that A) Al Gore is God and B) global warming causes birds to become explosive kamikaze death machines that vomit acid.

The perfectly-named Rod (Alan Bagh) is a software programmer living in.... a town somewhere, where he makes a fortune in a software deal, and decides to make his own environmentally-friendly company. He also romances a model named Nathalie (Whitney Moore); they dance, talk with her boring mom, talk about stuff, look at dead birds, and eventually have sex at a motel.

Yeah, you're probably wondering where the explosive birds are. Apparently sex summons them, because the next morning, the entire state is being assaulted by giant exploding birds of prey. They also slit throats and puke acid. Why? Because of global warming. It's SCIENCE!

So Nathalie and Rod must escape with Deadmeat #1 and Deadmeat #2, rescue a couple of insufferably narcissistic children, and wander around so they can encountering people who tell them that Evil Humans Causing Global Warming are responsible for everything bad. Can they save themselves, or will the Deadly Birds just sort of wander off?

Yeah, this movie is truly dreadful. As in, I'm amazed that director James Nguyen actually got this big stinking slimy turkey into theaters. EVERYTHING about this movie is inept -- the editing, sound, music, the silly special effects. I mean, the explosive birds are "hovering eagle" GIFs that just sort of hang in space, flapping the tips of their wings. WHAT THE?

But Nguyen's skill-vacuum also encompasses writing and plotting. The first half of the story is just random people wandering around doing... nothing much. Fortunately, the second half is a LOT more entertaining, with hysterically silly action scenes (yes! Fight off those birds with coat hangers!) and mind-blowingly silly dialogue ("We must act more like astronauts, spacemen taking care of Spaceship Earth").

Oh yes, the environmental message. Well, let's just say that Nguyen never misses a single opportunity to beat us senseless with his anti-war, anti-oil, environmental message. Characters appear, spew a Big Important Message, and then vanish forever.

As for the acting... what acting? Bagh lives up to his character's name, except I think a curtain rod might show more emotion; Moore is slightly more convincing, but she's not a good enough actress to hide her obvious revulsion at Bagh's very presence. The other actors are either forgettable (that Marine and his girlfriend) or teeth-grindingly annoying (the kids).

And it's WONDERFUL. "Birdemic" is one of those movies that gets every little thing WRONG, and it ends up being hysterically funny as a result. Everyone should see this explosive turkey and appreciate it for its unintentional hilarity.
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on February 15, 2016
I rate this 5 stars purely because this movie is so bad it's good. I would recommend raving to your friends and family about this and make them sit through the whole thing. Hilarious for a party. I purchased this as a gift.
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