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Black Lotus: A Woman's Search for Racial Identity Hardcover – August 2, 2016

by Sil Lai Abrams (Author)

38 customer reviews

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A unique and exquisitely wrought story of one multiracial woman’s journey to discover and embrace herself in a family that sought to deny her black heritage, Sil Lai Abrams shares her story in Black Lotus: A Woman’s Search for Racial Identity—an account that will undoubtedly ignite conversation on race, racial identity, and the human experience.

Author and activist Sil Lai Abrams was born to a Chinese immigrant mother and a white American father. Out of her family, Sil Lai was the only one with a tousle of wild curls and brown skin. When she asked about her darker complexion, she was given vague answers. At fourteen, the man she knew her entire life as her birth-father divulged that Abrams was not his biological child, but instead the daughter of a man of African descent who didn’t know she existed.

This shocking news sparked a quest for healing that would take her down the painful road to reclaim her identity despite the overt racism in her community and her own internalized racism and self-hatred. Abrams struggled with depression, abuse, and an addiction that nearly destroyed her. But eventually she would leave behind the shame over her birthright and move toward a celebration of her blackness.

In Black Lotus, Abrams takes you on her odyssey filled with extreme highs and lows and the complexities of not only the black experience, but also the human one. This vivid story reexamines everything you think you know about racial identity while affirming the ability of the human spirit to triumph over tragedy. Ultimately, Black Lotus shines a light on the transformative power of truth and self-acceptance, and the importance of defining your personal identity on your own terms.

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Editorial Reviews

Review

“Her ability to own her identity as a biracial woman with a troubled past is the greatest strength of this compelling narrative. A searingly honest coming-of-age memoir.” (KIRKUS REVIEWS)

“In her honest account of her tumultuous, loveless childhood, lost girl years, and her painful search for identity, Sil Lai Abrams opens her heart and bravely owns her story.” (Wendy Lawless, New York Times bestselling author of Chanel Bonfire)

“Compelling . . . Resonant. I felt her story represented a broader narrative of the black experience that deserved an audience.” (Amy DuBois Barnett, former editor in chief of EBONY magazine and author of Get Yours! How to Have Everything You Ever Dreamed Of and More)

“Like a slow, steady bass line, Sil Lai viscerally draws you into her aching journey to find her place in the world.”

(Nile Rodgers, Grammy award–winning composer, producer, cofounding member of CHIC, and author of Le Freak: An Upside Down Story of Family, Disco, and Destiny)

“[Black Lotus] resonates powerfully with generations of people growing up in our multicultural society. (Walter M. Kimbrough, PhD, president of Dillard University)

Sil Lai Abrams stunning and compelling memoir, Black Lotus examines race, class, dysfunctional family dynamics, abandonment, addiction, and nature versus nurture. In Black Lotus, Sil Lai skillfully and poignantly tells her story in a manner that doesn't let up and won’t let you go, taking you on her remarkable journey to overcome the parallel rejection of society and her family. Her surreal story is one of persistent, circular encounters with bad treatment, bad luck and bad decisions, yet amazingly, she not only survives but thrives. (Tom Burrell, author of Brainwashed: Challenging the Myth of Black Inferiority)

"Verdict: A fast-paced, emotional narrative that memoir fans will devour.” (LIBRARY JOURNAL (starred review))

About the Author

Sil Lai Abrams is a NABJ award-winning New York City-based writer, inspirational speaker, and domestic violence awareness activist. She has appeared on ABC, CNN, MSNBC, TV One, Al Jazeera, FOX, BET, Court TV, and TruTV as an expert on relationships and domestic violence, and been featured in national magazines such as Modern Woman, Oprah, Redbook, EBONY, Black Enterprise, and Sister 2 Sister. Abrams is the founder & CEO of Truth in Reality, a social advocacy organization committed to changing the media's depiction of women of color in an effort to reduce the rates of gender-based violence in the black community, and also serves on the national Board of Directors for the National Domestic Violence Hotline. She lives in New York, New York.

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Product details

Hardcover: 368 pages
Publisher: Gallery Books/Karen Hunter Publishing (August 2, 2016)
Language: English
ISBN-10: 9781451688467
ISBN-13: 978-1451688467
ASIN: 1451688466
Product Dimensions: 5.5 x 1.2 x 8.4 inches
Shipping Weight: 15.5 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
Average Customer Review: 38 customer reviews
Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #601,349 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)
- #1461 in Ethnic Demographic Studies
- #2074 in African-American & Black Biographies
- #7906 in Women's Biographies

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Marcie L. Thomas

A Story of Triumph from a Brave Woman

August 2, 2016

Format: HardcoverVerified Purchase

I am a firm believer that each and every person has a story that's worth telling and I am glad that Sil Lai Abrams chose to share her personal journey with the world. On the surface, her story mirrors those of countless people of mixed heritage whose identities are continually questioned in a society that oftentimes views "otherness" in a negative light, but Abrams' story is much more complex.

In this page-turning memoir, Abrams provides you with insight into the mind of a woman who is struggling to move beyond the pain of having an absentee mother, an emotionally unavailable father, lies about her true heritage, generational addictions, and emotional/physical abuse.

However, in spite of Abrams' challenges - within her family, within a racist and sexist society, and within herself - she has been able to rise above those things that sought to destroy her and emerge as a victorious woman who has defined herself for herself, without apology. I highly recommend this book.

9 people found this helpful

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S L HAIRSTON-JONES

A poignant memoir, a story of survival, and acceptance of racial identity

September 4, 2016

Format: Kindle EditionVerified Purchase

I just finished reading this remarkable memoir. I am amazed that one person can endure so much and still rise. The spark inside this woman could not be extinguished. Somehow becoming a young mother did not break her, but motivated her to take on the world in a different way, fighting to stay sane, emerge from depression, overcome alcohol abuse and escape dangerous relationships. I am so uplifted by her grit. What she has endured in rejection and self loathing is heartbreaking, but with help, she has emerged wounded, but healing. She is a true inspiration!

3 people found this helpful

Comment

September 20, 2016

Format: Kindle EditionVerified Purchase

From start to finish, this was a book was both a pleasure to read and tragic. Siu Lai's autobiography was impeccably written and difficult to put down (I was done reading from cover to cover in a span of just days.) In a way, the author's desperate search to find a racial niche and a place at the family table where she might belong has mirrored my own. 'Black Lotus' should be required reading for every student!

One person found this helpful

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Excellent read wonderful ending for Sil Lai....

November 3, 2017

Format: Kindle EditionVerified Purchase

I truly enjoyed reading book. Although Sil Lao had a tough upbringing she overcame numerous personal issues. So glad she stayed in the fight no matter how hard, she could of given up. No matter how bad anyone upbringing is/was perseverance and will to change the road map of your life can always happen if you allow it. Thank you Sil Lai for sharing your story with the world.

One person found this helpful

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One of my most favorite books. I read it in less than a ...

May 14, 2018

Format: HardcoverVerified Purchase

One of my most favorite books. I read it in less than a day. It is amazing. It not only talks about figuring out one's racial identify, but about being biracial, facing and dealing with rejection, feeling unloved, dealing with loneliness, dealing with bulimia, dealing with alcoholism, and many other issues. This is an amazing story that must be read by all!

Comment

Inspiring story

October 17, 2016

Format: Kindle EditionVerified Purchase

This writer kept me so closely engaged in her story, that I cried during some parts of this book. It made me wonder how it might feel to discover that my parents weren't really my birth parents. I realized how damaging it can be to grow up without a sense of identity, and how difficult it is when you are "the only one." Though hearing this story really troubled me, I was moved by her honesty. I hope that her healing continues and that she inspires others.

Comment

Thank you for this book!

December 13, 2016

Format: HardcoverVerified Purchase

Exactly what I was expecting. I read the reviews and knew this would be a great read. Such a touching story on how race can have an impact on one's life. There are moments where you will smile, laugh, and possibly want to drop a tear. This was so empowering!

One person found this helpful

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Amazon Customer

This is an incredible story of triumph of a young ...

January 10, 2017

Format: HardcoverVerified Purchase

This is an incredible story of triumph of a young girl struggling to understand her heritage, her identity and her place in the world.
Sil lai Abrams's raw honestly and self reflection will gut you , break your heart , make you root for her and ultimately, impact you in a way that makes you look at yourself and the world in a new way. This is a timely memoir that shows the struggle of a mixed race girl who is lied to about her origins and her fascinating journey to find her heritage and her way. You will read her story and wonder how you would fair in her situation and realize that the Sil Lai Abrams's spirit, spunk and character will inspire you and stay with you for a long time.

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