Special Edition, Collector's Edition, Director's Cut
DVD | Box Set
This exclusive DVD collection shows for the first time the movies that began Uwe Boll's career as a director and producer. Uwe gives a commentary with every movie regarding the development, shooting, financing, and ultimately the evaluation of each film.
This DVD Collection is for real movie fans who are interested not only in movies, but also what goes on behind the scenes.
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Consider just a few of the horrors we've seen in our young Century: 9/11, the endless wars in Iraq and Afghanistan, mass suicide bombings, nuclear proliferation, even city-annihilating floods.
And now this, the sign that the End of the Age is at hand, and that the Beast is in the Temple: the appearance---for Sale!---of the innocently named "Boll Collection".
What is the "Boll Collection", you ask? Teutonic director Uwe Boll, who is to filmmaking what a rhinocerous is to hangliding, has thoughtfully collected four of his early films for your viewing pleasures. One of them even has English subtitles, so you see his cup really does overfloweth.
But let's talk about the entire concept behind "The Boll Collection". Think of it this way: this is the Master's early oeuvre, his work before---well, before he, you know, *learned* something about movie-making. Before he learned the skills behind crafting his *real* masterpieces, like "Bloodrayne", "Alone in the Dark", and "House of the Dead".
You know---before Uwe "got good".
You see the point?
Look, in the spirit of free consumer advice, here's my two cents on how to exactly duplicate the "Boll Collection"---for under a dollar!
1)Find a cheap meat tenderizer mallet (easily purchasable for under $1.50, perhaps even on Amazon!) and a cutting board.
2)Drop your pants and place your [euphemism for your holy manhood] on the cutting board. Take the meat tenderizer and pound away mercillessly at your helpless [wingus], at least 20 times.
3) Stop pounding. Sprinkle salt on wounds.
4) Rinse, repeat.
And there you have it: a way to have the full "Boll Collection" experience in all its heady glory, at a fraction of the cost---and without having to take German lessons.