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Showing 1-10 of 136 reviews(Verified Purchases). See all 195 reviews
on January 2, 2015
This book is great if you are seriously looking for a transformation within and ready to follow what you read here, however it is not easy. What we read in the book needs to keep in mind and remind ourselves when we get in certain situations and I absolutely loved this. The book is more about our perception of things and realizing our true instincts regardless of our motives or agendas. Found myself in a situation where it was freezing cold and super windy and there was this girl trying to put things in her car's trunk but needed help to hold the trunk door, in normal situation I might have ignored telling myself its okay as its so chilly and I don't need to stop but I decided to follow my conscience and not to do "self betrayal" and stopped and helped. It sounds quite simple and feels like basic etiquette but am sure at some point in life we all have done that manipulation to our spirit and decided to shrug off and not offer the basic help needed. This book is going to make a change in that life style. But we need to keep in mind that this book is written keeping in mind that people we are dealing with are genuine. Sometimes we do caught up in situations where people are having their own agendas and will try to manipulate. So we need to have a good understanding on how to apply the principles in this book in our own life. Hope this helps !
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on March 22, 2017
This book has been recommended to me by my brother and my Son; each read it separately, there was no collusion. They both raved about it so I had to read it. A lot of wisdom in this book. I can heartily recommend it. My Son claims it helped his marriage greatly.
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on May 3, 2015
I received this book as a gift - and wow - what a gift. There are self-help books and then there are books like this that illuminate issues at their roots. This isn't a book about action plans, 1, 2, 3 and you're all better, your life is optimized. It's a hard look at doing the right thing and at what happens when we don't do the right thing; how we start blaming and shaming others as an unconscious cover up for not doing what we knew was the right thing and how this circles out of control until we have lives filled with unhappy human encounters that don't encompass what we crave most - connection. No - this book is not your typical self-help book. I highly recommend it. Learning to evaluate our own self-betrayal and how that is at the root of our ill-fated interactions with people and NOT their behavior is a huge leap for human consciousness. I can't praise it enough. A beautiful piece of work.
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on June 18, 2017
I read this book as a youth when I struggled after my parents divorced and now again as a grown man and father of four daughters. It would be impossible for me to overstate the impact that this man's counsel has had on my life. This is a must read for anyone who wishes that their circumstances were somehow different than they currently are. Please read this book.
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on June 26, 2015
Great book on how to help through internal challenges. The author describes how important it is to recognize ones worth and the importance of connection to others in this life. Getting clear about what one views as "right and wrong" and how its impact is a recurring theme. Going against what one values as truth is what the author calls "self-betrayal". One quote from the book to illustrate this is: "Self-betrayal occurs when we go against the feelings - when we do to another what we sense we should not do, or don't do what we sense we should...Thus self-betrayal is a sort of moral self-compromise, a violation of our own personal sense of how we ought to be and what we ought to do."

I like the authors ideas and how it the message is delivered in a personal sort of way.
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on January 4, 2014
This book has shown me that when there is any sort of relationship problem, it can likely be healed by me if I simply make the effort to perceive my actions, thoughts, and motivations more honestly, and if I then act based on those new perceptions. It reveals the self-deceptions that undermine relationships, and shows how I can embrace truth and thereby heal a relationship. It is very sobering to realize that most of my relationship problems (with family, friends, co-workers, etc.) have been self-inflicted, but it is empowering to realize that it is within my power to eliminate my self-deceptions, and thus transform relationships; I don't need to try to change the other person. There are many vivid stories in the book that allowed me to easily put myself in the shoes of another, and to see things in a fresh way. The stories flow quickly and are effective. The principles taught in the book ring true. This is a book that I plan to re-read. I already have the hardcover edition (because my wife gave it to me and gently persuaded me to read it) and I've just purchased the Kindle version so that I'll always have it within reach.
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on March 18, 2017
A great book that changed my view of my world and how I live in it. Certainly not a quick fix, but it offers the opportunity to change course.
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on May 27, 2014
This book is good for anyone and everyone but I read it as a mom trying to figure out how to improve relationships with my children (one in particular). I have struggled my seven years of motherhood to be the kind of mom I want to be.I've read 16 parenting books and have gleaned bits from each one without any fundamental changes. This is the most eye-opening book I have ever read, painfully so. It forces you to be totally honest with yourself and get to the core root of your unhappiness and problems in relationships. Though it will be far from a quick fix, I have hope that my heart can change and along with it my relationship with my son.
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on February 17, 2014
The book put words to thoughts I suspected about my own relationships' dysfunctions. His discussion on "collusions" in communication illuminated a path of an individual taking responsibility, even if they feel they are not to blame. This is counter-intuitive and counter-cultural, yet relieving.

Warner creates a nice blend of case studies with his own insights that make the book an easy read. I found it helpful to read it in segments. As well, he allowed glimpses of a religious worldview to permeate his writing without betraying the specific faith form which he hails, nor did he make religious faith a necessity for mastering the concepts he taught.
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on November 5, 2012
I suspect there are few who have not heard the cliché, "you are has happy as you decided to be", or some variation on that theme. There are many who espouse this philosophy and insist on its correctness. Many more doubt it could be true, or emphatically deny the possibility of its truth. If it is true, and I believe it is, it surely is not nearly as simple as it sounds. In "Bonds That Make Us Free" by C. Terry Warner, the author shows it isn't as simple as it sounds, while explaining how it can be done. Warner demonstrates how we are responsible for our own lack of happiness and how understanding that gives us hope to gain true happiness. Simultaneously he shows how other people are not responsible for our unhappiness, as we often falsely believe.
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