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Boundaries in Marriage Paperback – August 12, 2002
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The 30 Best Self Help Books
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Establishing and understanding boundaries are crucial to the success of a marriage, according to authors Cloud and Townsend, who cowrote the award-winning and biblically-based book Boundaries. For example, boundaries help us understand where one person ends and the other begins, the authors claim: "Once we know the boundaries, we know who should be owning the problem we are wrestling with," they write. "This issue of ownership is vital to any relationship, especially marriage." But more significantly, couples need to claim and take responsibility for the "treasures that lie within their individual borders," such as: "feelings, attitudes, behaviors, choices, limits, desires, thoughts, values, talents, and love." Based on the book that elevated them to national prominence, Cloud and Townsend caution readers not to use this self-help manifesto as a means to change one's spouse. Rather, this is a book about taking responsibility for oneself in all aspects of life, but especially within the boundaries of marital commitment. --This text refers to an out of print or unavailable edition of this title.
Two lives becoming one: Thats the marriage ideal. But maybe youve discovered that its easier said than done. How do you solve problems? How do you establish healthy communication? How do you work out conflict and deal with the struggle of differing needs? In the process of knitting two souls together, its easy to tear the fabric.
Thats why boundariesthe ways we define and maintain our sense of individuality, freedom, and personal integrityare so important. And its why the principles described in Boundaries in Marriage are essential if you want your marriage to flourish.
Counselors and best-selling authors Henry Cloud and John Townsend, authors of the Gold Medallion Award-winning book, Boundaries, show how you and your mate can experience marriage at its best. Youll learn how to deal with serious violations and betrayals and develop a haven of mutual love, care, appreciation, and growth. Boundaries in Marriage will show you: ? Why boundaries and the Ten Laws of Boundaries are vital for a thriving, productive marriage ? How values form the structure and architecture of marriage ? How to protect a marriage from intruders, whether parents, other people, affairs, or personal idols ? Why each partner needs to establish personal boundaries, and how to go about it ? How to work with a spouse who understands and values boundariesand how to work with one who doesnt
Whether you are just starting out as a couple, have been married for years, or are seriously contemplating marriage, Boundaries in Marriage will show you how to establish your own boundaries and respect those of your partner. Drawing on principles from the Bible, it can help you safeguard against relational fractures and mend existing cracks. It may even save your marriage. And it can help make even the best marriage better -- Publisher --This text refers to an out of print or unavailable edition of this title.
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Top Customer Reviews
I have been married for over 40 years--and in the old days, women were supposed to submit to their husbands, make their husbands happy. My father left when I was six, so there was always a fear that my husband would leave me, too, so I HAD to make him happy. Well, that gets tiring very quickly! I am reading this book, and implementing many of the ideas, in an effort to make sure our marriage is happy when we get old.
I really appreciate that they give concrete examples of what kinds of boundaries it is OK to set, and some consequences. After 40+ years, we are set in our ways, but with this book, I've been taking responsibility for my happiness, my choices, and saying, "it is OK if he is angry with me". I think this book would be great for a wedding gift! Wish I had read it 40 years ago--maybe we could have avoided some of the walls built. But I am determined to tear the walls down!
You can be confused by things said at church marriage classes, they mean well, but many times they don't understand that your marriage isn't theirs. It may be similar in some aspects, but you are completely different to them; therefore, what worked for them, may not work for you. God created us all different. By reading this book and asking God for a humble heart, you can be empowered to change your marriage for the better, you don't change your spouse, but you both learn to be aware in every situation about what you can do to help each other to become what God has called him/her to be.
It's title appeals to those who want to blame their spouse for their problems and feel like they need to put up boundaries. However, the book's focus is on controlling what you can control and protecting yourself from negative influences outside your control, especially negative influences from a spouse.
While the title may seem controversial, the key points are insightful for couples who want to regain control of (and take responsibility for) their own life. This is a great book for after the "honeymoon phase" is over.