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Boundaries Updated and Expanded Edition: When to Say Yes, How to Say No To Take Control of Your Life Paperback – October 3, 2017

by Henry Cloud (Author), John Townsend (Author)
4.7 4.7 out of 5 stars 25,366 ratings
#1 Best Seller in Christian Dating & Relationships
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Previous page
  1. Length

    352

    Pages

  2. Language

    EN

    English

  3. Publisher
    Zondervan
  4. Publication date

    2017

    October 3

  5. Dimensions

    5.6 x 1.1 x 8.5

    inches

  6. ISBN-10
    0310351804
  7. ISBN-13
    978-0310351801
  8. See all details
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  1. What we can do is set limits on our own exposure to people who are behaving poorly; we can’t change them or make them behave right.
    Highlighted by 14,735 Kindle readers
  2. your feelings are your responsibility and you must own them and see them as your problem so you can begin to find an answer to whatever issue they are pointing to.
    Highlighted by 14,456 Kindle readers
  3. Not confronting our fear denies the grace of God and insults both his giving of the gift and his grace to sustain us as we are learning.
    Highlighted by 10,589 Kindle readers
  4. Any confusion of responsibility and ownership in our lives is a problem of boundaries.
    Highlighted by 8,233 Kindle readers
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From the brand

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  2. boundaries
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    The Boundaries book series has transformed marriages, families, organizations, and individuals around the world, with 4 million copies sold.

    Some people focus so much on being loving and unselfish that they forget their own limits and limitations. That’s why the ability to set clear boundaries is essential to a healthy, balanced lifestyle. In relationships, boundaries define who we are and who we are not, which impacts every part of our lives.

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From the Publisher

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WHAT OTHERS ARE SAYING

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“I’ve been recommending Boundaries to friends, team members and radio listeners for more than twenty years.”

—Dave Ramsey, bestselling author and nationally syndicated radio show host

“This life-changing book is still the go-to guide for healthy relationships, personal growth, and true freedom in Christ.”

—Andy Stanley, pastor, author, communicator, and Founder of North Point Ministries

“Of every book that I’ve read, Boundaries is the one I recommend most often.”

—Craig Groeschel, pastor of Life.Church and New York Times bestselling author

WHAT CAN I EXPECT TO LEARN FROM THIS BOOK?

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boundaries, relationships, healthy, conflict, control, problems, psychology, biblical, relevant

boundaries, relationships, healthy, conflict, control, problems, psychology, biblical, relevant

Boundary Setting Is a Large Part of Maturing

We can’t really love until we have boundaries—otherwise we love out of compliance or guilt. And we can’t really be productive at work without boundaries; otherwise we’re so busy following others’ agendas that we’re double-minded and unstable (James 1:8). The goal is to have a character structure that has boundaries and that can set limits on self and others at the appropriate times.

Boundaries Define Us

They define what is me and what is not me. A boundary shows me where I end and someone else begins, leading me to a sense of ownership.

Knowing what I am to own and take responsibility for gives me freedom. If I know where my yard begins and ends, I am free to do with it what I like. Taking responsibility for my life opens up many different options. However, if I do not “own” my life, my choices and options become very limited.

The Law of Power

To see another person as the problem to be fixed is to give that person power over you and your well-being. Because you cannot change another person, you are out of control. The real problem lies in how you are relating to the problem person. You are the one in pain, and only you have the power to fix it.

Many people have found immense relief in the thought that they have no control over another person and that they must focus on changing their reactions to that person.

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Boundaries Workbook: When to Say Yes, How to Say No to Take Control of Your Life Beyond Boundaries: Learning to Trust Again in Relationships Boundaries in Dating: How Healthy Choices Grow Healthy Relationships Boundaries in Marriage: The Choices That Make or Break Loving Relationships Boundaries with Kids: How Healthy Choices Grow Healthy Children Boundaries with Teens: When to Say Yes, How to Say No
Other Boundaries Books by Dr. Henry Cloud & Dr. John Townsend Designed to help you create your own life-giving boundaries, this perfect companion to Boundaries provides practical wisdom for setting boundaries in a highly connected digital age. For when your trust has been broken: discover how to set firm boundaries again, how to connect deeply without being hurt, and how to safely grow your most intimate relationships. Boundaries in Dating offers illuminating insights for romance that can help you grow in freedom, honesty, and self-control as you pursue healthy dating limits that can lead to a happy marriage. Learn when to say yes and how to say no in the context of your marriage relationship. Once you have boundaries in place, a good marriage can become better, and a less-than-satisfying one can even be saved. Yes, you can say no to your child and still be a loving parent. Discover how setting biblical boundaries can make your parenting better today! Establish wise and loving limits that make a positive difference in your teen, in the rest of your family, and in you.

Editorial Reviews

Review

Boundaries by Dr. Henry Cloud and Dr. John Townsend is truly an “in case of (relational) fire---remove hammer, break glass” kind of book. If you need the pain to stop and the healing to start, read this life-changing book and follow its instruction to freedom. -- Dr. James MacDonald, senior pastor of Harvest Bible Chapel and author of VERTICAL CHURCH and ACT LIKE MEN. JamesMacDonald.org

Dr. Henry Cloud and Dr. John Townsend continue to break the boundaries of incredible revelation in their new and revised edition of Boundaries. As the senior pastor of a large church, this message has not only changed my life, but the lives of my staff and congregation. If you want to learn how to have healthier relationships, you need to read this book! -- Robert Morris, Founding Senior Pastor, Gateway Church, Dallas/ Fort Worth, Texas; bestselling author of THE BLESSED LIFE , THE GOD I NEVER KNEW, TRULY FREE , and FREQUENCY

I’ve been recommending Boundaries to friends, team members and radio listeners for more than twenty years. In fact, hardly a day goes by when I don’t use something that I learned from this book. The principles are timeless, and the updates in this version make Boundaries even more relevant to readers and their relationships. -- Dave Ramsey, bestselling author and nationally syndicated radio show host

Now updated and expanded, this classic book is more timely and relevant than ever for today’s “always on, always there” culture. If technology and social media are intruding on your life and relationships, learn from the boundaries experts how to protect yourself and the people you love. This life-changing book is still the go-to guide for healthy relationships, personal growth, and true freedom in Christ. -- Andy Stanley, pastor, author, communicator, and Founder of North Point Ministries

Of every book that I’ve read, Boundaries is the one I recommend most often. All of us can overcommit, become doormats, or find ourselves in codependent and dysfunctional relationships. Dr. Henry Cloud and Dr. John Townsend’s one-of-a-kind book helps guide the reader through a change in mindset that eventually leads to a change in actions. If you know you have some unhealthy patterns in friendships, at work, in your schedule, with technology or your family, this book will help you establish the boundaries you need to create the life you are supposed to live. -- Craig Groeschel, pastor of Life.Church and NEW YORK TIMES bestselling author

About the Author

Dr. Henry Cloud is a clinical psychologist, pastor to pastors, and New York Times bestselling author. His 45 books, including the iconic Boundaries, have sold over 20 million copies worldwide. Throughout his storied career as a clinician, he started treatment centers, created breakthrough new models rooted in research, and has been a leading voice on issues of mental health and leadership on a global scale. Dr. Cloud lives in Los Angeles with his wife, Tori, and their two daughters, Olivia and Lucy.



Dr. John Townsend is a nationally known leadership consultant, psychologist, and author, selling over 10 million books, including the New York Times bestselling Boundaries series. John founded the Townsend Institute for Leadership and Counseling and the Townsend Leadership Program. Dr. Townsend travels extensively for corporate consulting, speaking events, and to help develop leaders, their teams, and their families. John and his family live in Southern California and Texas. Visit DrTownsend.com.

Product details

  • Publisher ‏ : ‎ Zondervan; Enlarged edition (October 3, 2017)
  • Language ‏ : ‎ English
  • Paperback ‏ : ‎ 352 pages
  • ISBN-10 ‏ : ‎ 0310351804
  • ISBN-13 ‏ : ‎ 978-0310351801
  • Item Weight ‏ : ‎ 11.5 ounces
  • Dimensions ‏ : ‎ 5.55 x 1.05 x 8.45 inches
  • Customer Reviews:
    4.7 4.7 out of 5 stars 25,366 ratings

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Henry Cloud

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Dr. Cloud is a New York Times and Wall Street Journal bestselling author, and his books have sold nearly 20 million copies. His leadership book, Integrity, was dubbed by the New York Times as "the best book in the bunch." In 2011, Necessary Endings was called "the most important book you read all year." His book "Boundaries For Leaders" was named by CEO Reads in the top five leadership books of its year. Dr. Cloud's work has been featured and reviewed by the New York Times, Wall Street Journal, Boston Globe, Publisher's Weekly, Los Angeles Times, and many other publications. Success Magazine named Dr. Cloud in the top 25 most influential leaders in personal growth and development, alongside Oprah, Brene Brown, Seth Godin and others. He is a frequent contributor to CNN, Fox News Channel, and other national media outlets.

‍

In his leadership consulting practice, Dr. Cloud works with CEOs, Fortune 500 companies and smaller private businesses alike. He has an extensive executive coaching background, and experience as a leadership consultant, devoting the majority of his time working with CEOs, leadership teams and executives to improving performance, leadership skills, and culture. He also has a specialty in high net worth family offices.

‍

His experience includes three decades as a consultant, and as an entrepreneur he started and grew a successful chain of treatment centers in over 40 cities across the western United States. His experience running a business of this magnitude lends credibility to his expertise on leadership matters in the companies with which he works.As a speaker, Dr. Cloud has shared the stage with many business and global leaders and experts, such as Tony Blair, Jack Welch, Condoleezza Rice, Desmond Tutu, President George Bush, Marcus Buckingham, Magic Johnson, Peyton Manning and many others.Dr. Cloud is a graduate of Southern Methodist University, with a B.S. in psychology. He completed his Ph.D. in clinical psychology at Biola University, and his clinical internship at Los Angeles County Department of Mental Health. His philanthropic interests lie in homelessness in the inner city, as well as missions in the developing world. He lives in Los Angeles with his wife, Tori, and their two daughters, Olivia and Lucy. He enjoys golf, scuba diving, boating and fishing.

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Top reviews from the United States

Paul H.
5.0 out of 5 stars Best book on boundaries I've read
Reviewed in the United States on November 26, 2023
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Derek
5.0 out of 5 stars Valuable read - even if you aren’t a Bible-thumper
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5.0 out of 5 stars important self growth book
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5.0 out of 5 stars inspiring!
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4.0 out of 5 stars Insightful
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Jael Aldunate
5.0 out of 5 stars A Must Read for Boundaries questions
Reviewed in the United States on November 15, 2023
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Jerry
5.0 out of 5 stars Very encouraging!
Reviewed in the United States on November 16, 2023
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Lu Scannell
5.0 out of 5 stars Always a good subject
Reviewed in the United States on November 21, 2023
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LynleyO
4.0 out of 5 stars Probs nothing new to me but helpful book
Reviewed in the United Kingdom on October 14, 2023
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Sharilyn Ferguson
5.0 out of 5 stars Amazing and Helpful Book!
Reviewed in Canada on November 1, 2023
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5.0 out of 5 stars great christmas present for parents
Reviewed in the United Kingdom on October 28, 2023
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Mauranda Lewis
5.0 out of 5 stars If you find it hard to set boundaries - this book is for you!!!
Reviewed in the United Kingdom on September 30, 2023
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Sarah
3.0 out of 5 stars It’s actually religious although this wasn’t clear to me when I brought it
Reviewed in the United Kingdom on June 13, 2023
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