Buy new:
-54% $10.18$10.18
FREE delivery August 13 - 18
Ships from: SharehouseGoods Sold by: SharehouseGoods
Save with Used - Good
$7.87$7.87
FREE delivery Wednesday, August 13 on orders shipped by Amazon over $35
Ships from: Amazon Sold by: MegaReads
Return this item for free
We offer easy, convenient returns with at least one free return option: no shipping charges. All returns must comply with our returns policy.
Learn more about free returns.- Go to your orders and start the return
- Select your preferred free shipping option
- Drop off and leave!
Download the free Kindle app and start reading Kindle books instantly on your smartphone, tablet, or computer - no Kindle device required.
Read instantly on your browser with Kindle for Web.
Using your mobile phone camera - scan the code below and download the Kindle app.
Follow the authors
OK
Boundaries: When to Say YES, When to Say NO, To Take Control of Your Life Hardcover – November 2, 1992
Purchase options and add-ons
Having clear boundaries is essential to a healthy, balanced lifestyle. A boundary is a personal property line that marks those things for which we are responsible. In other words, boundaries define who we are and who we are not. Boundaries impact all areas of our lives: Physical boundaries help us determine who may touch us and under what circumstances -- Mental boundaries give us the freedom to have our own thoughts and opinions -- Emotional boundaries help us to deal with our own emotions and disengage from the harmful, manipulative emotions of others -- Spiritual boundaries help us to distinguish God's will from our own and give us renewed awe for our Creator -- Often, Christians focus so much on being loving and unselfish that they forget their own limits and limitations. When confronted with their lack of boundaries, they ask: - Can I set limits and still be a loving person? - What are legitimate boundaries? - What if someone is upset or hurt by my boundaries? - How do I answer someone who wants my time, love, energy, or money? - Aren't boundaries selfish? - Why do I feel guilty or afraid when I consider setting boundaries? Dr. Henry Cloud and Dr. John Townsend offer biblically-based answers to these and other tough questions, showing us how to set healthy boundaries with our parents, spouses, children, friends, co-workers, and even ourselves.
- Print length304 pages
- LanguageEnglish
- PublisherZondervan
- Publication dateNovember 2, 1992
- Dimensions6.26 x 1.1 x 9.29 inches
- ISBN-100310585902
- ISBN-13978-0310585909
There is a newer edition of this item:
Book recommendations, author interviews, editors' picks, and more. Read it now.
Frequently bought together

Frequently purchased items with fast delivery
What we can do is set limits on our own exposure to people who are behaving poorly; we can’t change them or make them behave right.Highlighted by 17,098 Kindle readers
your feelings are your responsibility and you must own them and see them as your problem so you can begin to find an answer to whatever issue they are pointing to.Highlighted by 16,939 Kindle readers
Not confronting our fear denies the grace of God and insults both his giving of the gift and his grace to sustain us as we are learning.Highlighted by 12,329 Kindle readers
Any confusion of responsibility and ownership in our lives is a problem of boundaries.Highlighted by 8,620 Kindle readers
Editorial Reviews
Amazon.com Review
Review
'Dr. Henry Cloud and Dr. John Townsend have great insights and practical wisdom into the God-given gift of boundaries. As they discuss how to take responsibility for and ownership of our lives, they give hope that we cannot just survive -- but thrive!' -- Josh McDowell, Author
'This book is going to provide a doorway of understanding and freedom for those of us who have allowed ourselves to be buried in the inability to say no. Thank you once again, Henry and John, for helping us toward freedom.' -- Rich Buhler, Author
'In this insightful and extremely helpful book, you will learn about a simple concept that can change your life: healthy boundaries. It's the ability to mark off your life in such a way that you multiply your love for others and minimize the problems you face. And it's waiting for you when you open this book I highly recommend.' -- John Trent, PhD, President
'I've heard a myriad of sermons on Christian servanthood that never discussed the value of saying 'NO!' in order to confront in love or to provide space to recharge the batteries. 'Boundaries' is the 'Untold Story' -- the other side of love and servanthood that we need so desperately but that we hear so little about.' -- Howard G. Hendricks, Chairman
From the Publisher
The Boundaries video kit includes: 1 90-minute video (not sold separately) 1 Boundaries Leader's Guide (additional copies sold separately) 1 Boundaries Participant's Guide (additional copies sold separately) 1 copy Boundaries hardcover book (additional copies sold separately) 1 clamshell-style carrying case
From the Back Cover
About the Author
Dr. Henry Cloud is an acclaimed leadership expert, psychologist, and New York Times best-selling author. In his leadership consulting practice, Dr. Cloud works with both Fortune 500 companies and smaller private businesses. He has an extensive executive coaching background and experience as a leadership consultant, devoting the majority of his time working with CEOs, leadership teams, and executives to improve performance, leadership skills, and culture. Dr. Cloud lives in Los Angeles with his wife, Tori, and their two daughters, Olivia and Lucy.
Dr. John Townsend is a leadership consultant, psychologist, and New York Times bestselling author. He has written twenty-seven books, selling 10 million copies, including the three million-selling Boundaries series. John is founder of the Townsend Institute for Leadership and Counseling and conducts the Townsend Leadership program. He travels extensively for corporate consulting, speaking, and working with leadership families. He and his wife, Barbi, have two sons, and live in Newport Beach, California. One of John's favorite hobbies is playing in a band that performs in Southern California lounges and venues.
Product details
- Publisher : Zondervan
- Publication date : November 2, 1992
- Edition : Revised
- Language : English
- Print length : 304 pages
- ISBN-10 : 0310585902
- ISBN-13 : 978-0310585909
- Item Weight : 1.05 pounds
- Dimensions : 6.26 x 1.1 x 9.29 inches
- Best Sellers Rank: #993,795 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)
- #3 in Christian Self Help
- #7 in Christian Personal Growth
- #15,565 in Christian Spiritual Growth (Books)
- Customer Reviews:
About the authors

Dr. Henry Cloud is a popular speaker, and cohost, with Dr. John Townsend, of the nationally broadcast New Life Live! Radio program, and cofounder of Cloud-Townsend Clinic and Cloud-Townsend Resources. His bestselling books include the Gold Medallion Award-winning Boundaries books and Making Small Groups Work. Dr. Cloud and his wife and two daughters live in Southern California. Dr. Henry Cloud is a popular speaker, and cohost of the nationally broadcast New Life Live! Radio program, and cofounder of Cloud-Townsend Clinic and Cloud-Townsend Resources. His best-selling books include the Gold Medallion Award-winning Boundaries.

Dr. Cloud is a New York Times and Wall Street Journal bestselling author, and his books have sold nearly 20 million copies. His leadership book, Integrity, was dubbed by the New York Times as "the best book in the bunch." In 2011, Necessary Endings was called "the most important book you read all year." His book "Boundaries For Leaders" was named by CEO Reads in the top five leadership books of its year. Dr. Cloud's work has been featured and reviewed by the New York Times, Wall Street Journal, Boston Globe, Publisher's Weekly, Los Angeles Times, and many other publications. Success Magazine named Dr. Cloud in the top 25 most influential leaders in personal growth and development, alongside Oprah, Brene Brown, Seth Godin and others. He is a frequent contributor to CNN, Fox News Channel, and other national media outlets.
In his leadership consulting practice, Dr. Cloud works with CEOs, Fortune 500 companies and smaller private businesses alike. He has an extensive executive coaching background, and experience as a leadership consultant, devoting the majority of his time working with CEOs, leadership teams and executives to improving performance, leadership skills, and culture. He also has a specialty in high net worth family offices.
His experience includes three decades as a consultant, and as an entrepreneur he started and grew a successful chain of treatment centers in over 40 cities across the western United States. His experience running a business of this magnitude lends credibility to his expertise on leadership matters in the companies with which he works.As a speaker, Dr. Cloud has shared the stage with many business and global leaders and experts, such as Tony Blair, Jack Welch, Condoleezza Rice, Desmond Tutu, President George Bush, Marcus Buckingham, Magic Johnson, Peyton Manning and many others.Dr. Cloud is a graduate of Southern Methodist University, with a B.S. in psychology. He completed his Ph.D. in clinical psychology at Biola University, and his clinical internship at Los Angeles County Department of Mental Health. His philanthropic interests lie in homelessness in the inner city, as well as missions in the developing world. He lives in Los Angeles with his wife, Tori, and their two daughters, Olivia and Lucy. He enjoys golf, scuba diving, boating and fishing.
Customer reviews
Customer Reviews, including Product Star Ratings help customers to learn more about the product and decide whether it is the right product for them.
To calculate the overall star rating and percentage breakdown by star, we don’t use a simple average. Instead, our system considers things like how recent a review is and if the reviewer bought the item on Amazon. It also analyzed reviews to verify trustworthiness.
Learn more how customers reviews work on AmazonCustomers say
Customers find the book easy to understand and packed with useful information, particularly appreciating its guidance on creating healthy personal boundaries and its use of real-life stories to teach the message. Moreover, the book helps readers better understand their control over themselves and organize their lives. However, the religious content receives mixed reactions, with some finding it biblically based while others consider it too religious. Additionally, opinions on value for money are divided, with some saying it's worth the price while others find it a waste of money.
AI Generated from the text of customer reviews
Customers find the book easy to read and understand.
"Great book, this is my second buy. I gave the first to a coworker...." Read more
"...So essential we have boundaries in our relationships. A great book to also give to a friend or your children. Easy to read and understand...." Read more
"Excellent book w wealth of knowledge and insight" Read more
"Great read and useful strategies to share with others" Read more
Customers find the book packed with wonderful information and instructive, describing it as one of the most life-changing books they've read.
"It was very helpful. I have a long way to go, but I feel I have the ground work. I feel more secure with setting boundaries" Read more
"...Generally I have found them to be helpful and insightful. But this one stands out, and not in a good way. This book is written by two psychologists...." Read more
"...Dr. Henry Cloud and Dr. John Townsend provide practical and compassionate guidance for anyone struggling to set boundaries in their personal or..." Read more
"...I’m going to re-read it, as it was that insightful and study it further." Read more
Customers find the book helpful in defining personal boundaries, particularly for those who struggle with setting them. One customer notes that the principles of boundaries are applicable to every relationship.
"...well written and gives specific information towards creating and keeping boundaries...." Read more
"This is the best book on boundaries I've ever read. I have had boundary issues all of my life but am finally learning at age 66...." Read more
"The clarity and excellent presentation of the meaning and importance of boundaries in this book was truly helpful...." Read more
"...I will say that I have more dog-eared paged in BOUNDARIES, then I do in any other book I’ve ever owned...." Read more
Customers find the book relatable and thought-provoking, appreciating how it uses stories to teach its message.
"...The group discussion from these first two chapters was thought provoking and I believe very helpful to most of the members of our group...." Read more
"...Lots of practical info and stories." Read more
"...I would have missed out if I had. It was a real eye opener to when I had worked, and packed with wonderful information if I ever decided to return..." Read more
"...Well written, anecdotal and interesting. It was also delivered on time, and in brand new condition!" Read more
Customers appreciate the book's pacing, with individual reviews highlighting its positive impact on self-improvement, guilt reduction, relationship dynamics, and emotional well-being.
"Love, love, love. A must read!" Read more
"...He’s an amazing speaker, and seems like a genuinely nice guy...." Read more
"...have at least average emotional intelligence, and genuinely care for each other at some level...." Read more
"...There is also a helpful discussion on forgiveness. But I think the book is significantly imbalanced...." Read more
Customers appreciate how the book helps them understand their control is within themselves and how to organize their lives, with one customer noting it offers great insight into setting boundaries.
"...This book defines boundaries and explains why they are needed and how to set them, with detailed examples...." Read more
"...Maybe one of the books I've highlighted the most. Both practical and freeing. However, 2 complaints:..." Read more
"Enlightening and Freeing..." Read more
"...helped me improve my relationships, reduce stress, and feel more in control of my life...." Read more
Customers have mixed opinions about the religious content of the book, with some appreciating its biblical basis and Christian perspective, while others find it too focused on religious elements.
"...I LOVE the fact that this is biblically based because even Jesus set boundaries...." Read more
"...this book were very helpful, but I was surprised that this was a Christian book...." Read more
"...Great balance between instruction, biblical references and stories." Read more
"Very religious..." Read more
Customers have mixed opinions about the book's value for money, with some finding it worth the price while others consider it a waste of money.
"...It's hard learning at 30 what you should've learned at 3 but it's worth it. And this book will definitely help if you're ready to unlearn...." Read more
"...It is worth the money." Read more
"...societal norms or create real connections with others, this book is of limited value. ******..." Read more
"Valuable and informative" Read more
Reviews with images
Boundaries book
Top reviews from the United States
There was a problem filtering reviews. Please reload the page.
- Reviewed in the United States on February 28, 2013DR HENRY CLOUD has been a guest speaker at my church on more than one occasion over the years. He’s an amazing speaker, and seems like a genuinely nice guy. When I heard about BOUNDARIES: WHEN TO SAY YES, WHEN TO SAY NO – TO TAKE CONTROL OF YOUR LIFE by DR HENRY CLOUD AND JOHN TOWNSEND, I decided to purchase it.
I’m sorry to say I let it sit on my bookshelf for some time before finally reading it. Once I got started, I quickly realized what a treasure I’d stumbled upon. There’s so much good stuff packed into 304 pages, I can’t begin to cover it all. I will say that I have more dog-eared paged in BOUNDARIES, then I do in any other book I’ve ever owned.
I didn’t realize I had boundaries issues until I read this book. There wasn’t a chapter I didn’t get something out of it or couldn’t connect with. I had thought about skipping the section on “Boundaries and Work”, since I’m no longer in the work field. I would have missed out if I had. It was a real eye opener to when I had worked, and packed with wonderful information if I ever decided to return to working.
Boundaries are needed in all parts of our lives including, our family, friends, spouses, kids, and those we work with. We as individuals need to set our own boundaries as well. To not do so would only be cheating oneself. We also need to recognize that God has boundaries as well.
BOUNDARIES will teach you all you need to know about boundaries in all aspects of your life, and how to apply them properly. I love the reference to Christianity, but even if you’re not a believer, I highly recommend this book.
My copy of BOUNDARIES is filled with highlights, parentheses, and astericks. If I had to pinpoint the most valuable piece of information I took away, it would have to be in a paragraph on page 89.
“What you can do is influence others. But there is a trick. Since you cannot get them to change, you must change yourself so that their destructive patterns no longer work on you. Change your way of dealing with them; they may be motivated to change if their old ways no longer work.”
What amazing advice. How often do we gripe and groan about others? How often do we try to change others, whether in the way they act or what they say? And more importantly … how often do our efforts have a positive result? On page 89, BOUNDARIES teaches us that we are the ones that need to make a change, and by doing so, we may be instrumental in changing other’s life.
I can’t even begin to guess how many people I’ve recommended this wonderful book too, packed full of knowledge for every person, written in a way that anyone can grasp. It’s a book that will remain in my home indefinitely.
- Reviewed in the United States on December 11, 2024This book is a game-changer! Dr. Henry Cloud and Dr. John Townsend provide practical and compassionate guidance for anyone struggling to set boundaries in their personal or professional life.
The updated edition includes insights into modern challenges like digital boundaries, which I found particularly relevant. The authors use relatable examples and a straightforward writing style that makes the concepts easy to grasp and implement.
What stood out to me most was how they emphasized that boundaries are not about shutting people out but about taking responsibility for your own well-being. It’s empowering to realize that saying "no" is not selfish—it’s essential for healthy relationships and a balanced life.
I also appreciated the integration of biblical principles, which added a layer of depth for me. However, even if you’re not religious, the lessons are universally applicable.
This book has helped me improve my relationships, reduce stress, and feel more in control of my life. Highly recommend to anyone looking to reclaim their time and energy while building stronger, healthier connections with others.
- Reviewed in the United States on April 8, 2025This is a really great book for people who need to understand how to put boundaries up. Most of us don’t and so we are constantly saying yes to things because we feel we have to even though we just don’t have the time or even the desire to do them! As a society we are taught to be accommodating, but there is a limit and most of us have no idea how to nicely say, “No, I can’t make 35 extra cupcakes for the PTA at the last minute because someone else is suddenly sick.” Because we would feel guilty. There just has to be a happy medium and this book tells us that first of all it’s okay to say no and how to go about it. Well written, anecdotal and interesting.
It was also delivered on time, and in brand new condition!
- Reviewed in the United States on August 2, 2025Excellent book w wealth of knowledge and insight
- Reviewed in the United States on April 20, 2025Definitely one of those game changer books for the people pleasers, those who give so much but end up resentful because other's do not do the same in return. This book spoke to many of the experiences i have faced including one-sides friendships and allowing myself to be taken advantage of to the point of leading to depression. I have set many boundaries with courage and it has brought a lot of peace. I learned the difference between forgiveness and reconciliation and how to avoid and address the guilt that comes with saying no. I was confused by the use of certain scriptures where it felt the meaning was stretched to fit the narrative in some places so I reduced by one star but that did not take away from being able to learn and apply the principles in this book. Thank you to Dave Ramsey for dropping this book as a recommendation.
- Reviewed in the United States on August 5, 2025This is a must read book for everyone whether dealing with someone you are dating or a spouse or your children. So essential we have boundaries in our relationships. A great book to also give to a friend or your children. Easy to read and understand. I was having a very difficult time with a relationship when this book was recommended to me by my counselor. Buy it. Read it. Put boundaries in place.
Top reviews from other countries
JenniReviewed in Australia on March 27, 20225.0 out of 5 stars Insightful book! Must read
So well written and applicable!! I want to give this book to so many of my friends. A real insight into people's behavior and an aid in dealing with people.
Make-A-HolicReviewed in Spain on April 14, 20255.0 out of 5 stars Old Dog learned something new.
I needed this book when I got married. WOW!!!
Swapnil vermaReviewed in India on May 17, 20245.0 out of 5 stars Eye opener!
The book is a real eye opener... makes you question the accepted "normalcy" in relationships...
I recommend everybody should read it
MattReviewed in the United Kingdom on August 1, 20195.0 out of 5 stars Thank God for this book! This is the Christian message no one ever taught me!
I’m only half way through and this book is blowing my mind! I keep reading a few paragraphs and have to put the book down huffing as I try to absorb what I have just read.
This is so challenging and is reshaping 36 years of indoctrination. I have been taught that to be a good Christian, a good friend, a good daughter and a good person, I must constantly deny myself, repent of my emotions, put others first, always focus on the needs of others, NEVER talk about how I feel or challenge anyone on how they are behaving because that would be selfishness, arrogance and create conflict which is the opposite to the biblical command to live in peace with everyone.
I have burnt out trying to live like this and I desperately needed a different world view but at the same time I am terrified of being selfish, immature or not reflecting God’s love and generosity because I want to please God more than anything.
Thank you God for this book! I think I will need to read it a second and third time to really absorb it all but I can see glimmers of a peace and freedom I’ve never had before. A life where I can enjoy being loved by God without feeling I have perpetual let him down by not showing enough grace or generosity. A life where I can draw my own boundaries in relationships without feeling I have denied my responsibility to be the hands and feet of Jesus. A life where I can let others make their own decisions without fearing that I will have to rush in and clear up the pieces.
I am so grateful to God for this book!
beccaReviewed in France on August 15, 20245.0 out of 5 stars The most profond and practical book that I’ve ever read !
I see myself so accurately in this book, struggling with boundaries and experiencing overwelms as a result. I am fully convinced by the necessity of growing in boundaries. And I learnt the very practical steps to make that happen. This book is trully inspiring and helpful, a must read for everyone who struggles with chaos and relational resentment.







