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The Boy Crisis: Why Our Boys Are Struggling and What We Can Do About It Hardcover – March 13, 2018
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John Gray
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Print length368 pages
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LanguageEnglish
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PublisherBenBella Books
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Publication dateMarch 13, 2018
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Dimensions6.2 x 1.59 x 9.25 inches
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ISBN-101942952716
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ISBN-13978-1942952718
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Editorial Reviews
Review
—Suzanne Somers
“Drs. Farrell and Gray frighten and enlighten us in their brilliant analysis, insights, wisdom, and practical solutions to The Boy Crisis . . . essential reading for every parent, teacher, and policy-maker.”
—Philip Zimbardo, PhD, former president of the American Psychological Association and Stanford University professor
“It would be impossible to read this book and not become a better parent, teacher, or thought leader.”
—Marci Shimoff, #1 New York Times bestselling author
“What The Feminine Mystique did for girls and women, The Boy Crisis does for boys and men. An eloquently written, compelling tour de force, The Boy Crisis presents a long overdue vision of boys’ self-worth, sense of purpose, and idea of heroism that will leave our boys happier, healthier, and better prepared to sustain love.”
—Dr. Richard A. Warshak, author of Divorce Poison
“A must-read for anyone who cares about our boys, our schools, our culture, and the future of our country.”
—Helen Smith, PhD, author of Men on Strike
“Arresting, alarming, and impeccably researched, The Boy Crisis is a must-read for every parent, educator, and policymaker who cares about the future of boys and girls.”
—Michael G. Thompson, PhD, New York Times bestselling coauthor of Raising Cain
“The Boy Crisis is a groundbreaking and exhaustively researched book about one of the most vital and disastrous yet underreported topics in America.”
—Suzanne Venker, Fox News contributor and author of The War on Men
“Original, thoughtful, and filled with gems of practical wisdom to understand and support the future of boys.”
—Jack Canfield, coauthor of the #1 New York Times bestselling Chicken Soup for the Soul® series
“As an activist in the women’s movement, I’m proud of expanding life choices for our daughters. But no one did the same for our sons—until now. Dr. Warren Farrell shines his searchlight on the ‘boy problem with no name’ in this totally absorbing, astonishing, and masterful book. Best of all, he offers parents and educators straightforward solutions with a heart full of compassion.”
—Gail Sheehy, author of Passages and Understanding Men’s Passages
“The Boy Crisis is the most important book of the 21st century. . . . If you care about the very survival of humankind, you must read this book.”
—Jed Diamond, PhD, author of The Irritable Male Syndrome
“A must-read for anyone who cares about our boys, our schools, our culture, and the future of our country.”
—Helen Smith, PhD, author of Men on Strike
“The Boy Crisis is a groundbreaking and exhaustively researched book about one of the most vital and disastrous yet underreported topics in America by one of the most thoughtful writers of our time. As the wife of a dad-deprived man, and the mother of a dad-enriched son, I can personally vouch for its deep significance.”
—Suzanne Venker, Fox News contributor and author of The War on Men
"The Boy Crisis will deepen your awareness and help you guide your son through the many dilemmas and ordeals that attend the journey from boyhood to manhood. Profoundly helpful."
—Sam Keen, author of Fire in the Belly and Prodigal Father, Wayward Son
Review
“The Boy Crisis brilliantly explores the challenges facing our sons—and everyone. The sections on ADHD, the role of mothering and fathering, and developing boys’ health intelligence are priceless and life-changing.”
—Suzanne Somers
“Drs. Farrell and Gray frighten and enlighten us in their brilliant analysis, insights, wisdom, and practical solutions to The Boy Crisis . . . essential reading for every parent, teacher, and policy-maker.”
—Philip Zimbardo, PhD, former president of the American Psychological Association and Stanford University professor
“It would be impossible to read this book and not become a better parent, teacher, or thought leader.”
—Marci Shimoff, #1 New York Times bestselling author
“What The Feminine Mystique did for girls and women, The Boy Crisis does for boys and men. An eloquently written, compelling tour de force, The Boy Crisis presents a long overdue vision of boys’ self-worth, sense of purpose, and idea of heroism that will leave our boys happier, healthier, and better prepared to sustain love.”
—Dr. Richard A. Warshak, author of Divorce Poison
“A must-read for anyone who cares about our boys, our schools, our culture, and the future of our country.”
—Helen Smith, PhD, author of Men on Strike
“Arresting, alarming, and impeccably researched, The Boy Crisis is a must-read for every parent, educator, and policymaker who cares about the future of boys and girls.”
—Michael G. Thompson, PhD, New York Times bestselling coauthor of Raising Cain
“The Boy Crisis is a groundbreaking and exhaustively researched book about one of the most vital and disastrous yet underreported topics in America.”
—Suzanne Venker, Fox News contributor and author of The War on Men
“Original, thoughtful, and filled with gems of practical wisdom to understand and support the future of boys.”
—Jack Canfield, coauthor of the #1 New York Times bestselling Chicken Soup for the Soul® series
“As an activist in the women’s movement, I’m proud of expanding life choices for our daughters. But no one did the same for our sons—until now. Dr. Warren Farrell shines his searchlight on the ‘boy problem with no name’ in this totally absorbing, astonishing, and masterful book. Best of all, he offers parents and educators straightforward solutions with a heart full of compassion.”
—Gail Sheehy, author of Passages and Understanding Men’s Passages
“The Boy Crisis is the most important book of the 21st century. . . . If you care about the very survival of humankind, you must read this book.”
—Jed Diamond, PhD, author of The Irritable Male Syndrome
“A must-read for anyone who cares about our boys, our schools, our culture, and the future of our country.”
—Helen Smith, PhD, author of Men on Strike
“The Boy Crisis is a groundbreaking and exhaustively researched book about one of the most vital and disastrous yet underreported topics in America by one of the most thoughtful writers of our time. As the wife of a dad-deprived man, and the mother of a dad-enriched son, I can personally vouch for its deep significance.”
—Suzanne Venker, Fox News contributor and author of The War on Men
"The Boy Crisis will deepen your awareness and help you guide your son through the many dilemmas and ordeals that attend the journey from boyhood to manhood. Profoundly helpful."
—Sam Keen, author of Fire in the Belly and Prodigal Father, Wayward Son
About the Author
Dr. Farrell is currently the Chair of the Commission to Create a White House Council on Boys and Men. He is the only man in the U.S. to have been elected three times to the Board of the National Organization for Women (NOW) in New York City. He started more than 300 men and women's groups, including ones joined by men from John Lennon to John Gray. Dr. Farrell has appeared repeatedly on Oprah, TODAY, and Good Morning America, and been the subject of features on 20/20, in Forbes, The Wall Street Journal, People, Parade, and The New York Times.
Dr. John Gray is the author of Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus. USA Today listed Mars/Venus as number six among the most influential books of the last quarter century. In hardcover, it was the number one bestselling nonfiction book of the nineties. John Gray's books are translated into approximately 45 languages in more than 100 countries.
Dr. Gray's more recent books include Mars and Venus in the Bedroom, Why Mars and Venus Collide, and Work With Me (with Barbara Annis). John has appeared repeatedly on Oprah, as well as on The Dr. Oz Show, TODAY, CBS This Morning, Good Morning America, etc. He has been profiled in Time, Forbes, USA Today, TV Guide, and People. He was also the subject of a three-hour special hosted by Barbara Walters.
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Product details
- Publisher : BenBella Books (March 13, 2018)
- Language : English
- Hardcover : 368 pages
- ISBN-10 : 1942952716
- ISBN-13 : 978-1942952718
- Item Weight : 0.035 ounces
- Dimensions : 6.2 x 1.59 x 9.25 inches
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Best Sellers Rank:
#130,254 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)
- #94 in Children's Studies Social Science (Books)
- #303 in Parenting Boys
- #323 in General Gender Studies
- Customer Reviews:
Customer reviews
Top reviews from the United States
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There are two distortions in the male narrative that challenge us, the distant or absent dad in contemporary societies and the anachronistic sacrificial disposability of men in the gender meta-narrative. Both need be questioned and countered. Farrell and Gray do exactly that.
From the fathering perspective, the demands of work life and familial support all but eliminate meaningful presence in parenting for many men, while divorce, on the increase as women find self-sufficiency, may exclude them entirely.
When it comes to real combat, men don’t count, except for a few heroes, living or dead, who sanctify the sacrificial offerings of the rest. Daily news reports from war zones count women and children dead and mutilated, leaving men to lie among the numberless casualties or be identified the bad guys who killed them. In popular media the killing of men is part of everyday entertainment and causes little concern. “The traditional male hero is about self-sacrifice, not self-actualization.” The battlefield and the workplace often function alike in this respect.
Though the women’s movement is rightfully empowering women to resist abuse and find rewarding and satisfying roles in life, there is little effort to allow men to follow “the glint in their eye”, to evade or redefine the stock, stereotypical roles of protector and provider. It is time for men to say their own, “Me too.” One hopes that the coming generation, now seemingly destined as micro-entrepreneurs, will have greater freedom to do so, but a new outcome does not depend solely on messing with the constraints of capitalism and commodification, but also on redefining the traditional male sense of purpose and adopting a life style that flows from it and supports it.
The book is replete with parental insights and suggested practices that begin to provide for this shift to a broader sense of purpose. This should not echo the veterinary sense of “fixing” men, but is about opening paths of opportunity for richer, more satisfying and, yes, heroic roles in male creativity, relationship formation and parenting. A good part of this is identifying and countering the “social bribes”, the pay-offs which deviate men from discovering their richer purpose offering a false currency of acknowledgement for outdated and too often tragic role performances.
Almost the last third of the book is focused on mental health issues most specifically on ADHD and its causes, effects and alternative remedies. I was hoping for OCD as well but was disappointed in this respect. Much wants more.
The pages are extremely well written, often with memorable lines in bold print. A few examples:
• “Time trumps dime” – valuing a father’s time with family, not just his earnings.
• We are inclined to “Save the whales but not save the males.”
• The shifting economy, “from muscle to microchip.”
The endnotes are abundant and supportive of the content, which will no doubt be contested as it frequently contradicts commonly accepted assumptions about men, their behavior and their highly touted privilege.
In sum, thanks guys!
Where I put the book down and started the Amazon return process is when it started criticizing the Affordable Care Act as biased toward women and against men. The whole passage in the book was strange as if the author(s) had a personal gripe against the healthcare system in this country as it relates specifically to men. It seemed to miss the point about the huge differences in women's and men's health needs which is probably the most important and obvious reason why there are "well woman" visits and men don't have "well men" visits. They offer a strange hypothetical example of two young adults going to the doctor independently before engaging in a sexual relationship (a strange hypothetical, in my opinion) the woman gets a thorough exam and inquiry from the doctor while the guy doesn't feel he does. . No mention was made that there are special doctors for women (they're called gynocologists - ever heard of them?) because women's reproductive health issues are so complex, internal, and involve fertility not to mention screening for cancers that men don't have to worry about. Women are usually the ones who have to take responsibility for birth control, so that's a conversation right there most guys don't have with their doctor. I agree that more could be done to screen men for all sorts of things, particularly sexual performance issues (which men are often loathe to discuss with health care professionals) and depression. The problem is getting men in annually. Our healthcare system in general should be more proactive in screening men and women for diabetes, heart disease, Vitamin D - all that stuff an annual blood test will tell you if your doctor would only send you a reminder to go in, like the gyno and the mammogram people do every year. This was not a major argument in the book, but a strange, unsupported, ridiculous, and distracting one that made it hard for me to want to read any more.
The rest of the book rambled and repeated itself as well. Many of the assertions seemed obvious, common sense thoughts that anyone could have said without much teeth to them in the way of statistics.
I have read some of Dr. Farrell's quotes on other matters relating to gender and found them to be thought provoking and unbiased. I am not sure what happened with some of the passages in this book that seemed whiny and scientifically unsupported.
Toward the end of the book they started rambling on about ADHD with lots of pseudoscience about treatment, and that's when I knew I was done with the book...
I purchased the book hoping to better understand boys and how to help them, as I have one, but this book didn't give me the answers I was looking for. I'll keep looking.
In my dad's early to mid-career as a pipeline electrician, he had debilitating panic attacks, smoked, became alcoholic, had un-anesthetized shock treatments, and was prescribed Librium and other drugs. Not an easy home-life for any of us but in his devotion to living by the code, he stayed until he retired.
Dad quit drinking in the via the recovery movement, and quit smoking, too. Mom, although not alcoholic, followed his lead. My dad died fairly recently at 90. Boy Crisis put the missing pieces together for me. Not only in relationship to my dad, but my brother, uncles, cousins, husband, stepson, and grandson.
As a C-suite consultant for 18 years in the gas and oil industry, I've seen the emotional scars and I’ve heard the Great Santini stories. And, I know engineers who could have been professional musicians and financial executives who are better suited for teaching or counseling.
Women's Movement gave me an energetic boost. I'm grateful. I've had many opportunities. As a result, my desire is to be able to see my 7 year-old grandson entering his working years buoyed with a culture change that Farrell and Gray believe is possible.
If you are a dad or have a dad, you will find treasure between the pages in Boy Crisis. I want to do my part and spread the word about. So far, I've ordered 12 hard cover books and an Audible version. I suspect I'll order more.
Top reviews from other countries
The book addresses an array of issues which are often complex and nuanced. This undoubtedly created tensions and friction between women and men both individually and collectively, especially those who have been impacted most over the past 50 years and particularly black men in the USA. It offers a comprehensive review of the literature and whilst I would like to have seen more by way of interventions it may be premature in some ways given the lack of genuine public debate and need for further research. It would be foolish to think that women do not need our continued support but it would be equally foolish for society to continue to deny the seriousness of issues facing men. We now need to invest in the same way in relation to men including good quality research as well as considering the relationship between men and women but this book offers a major contribution to the debate and deserves to be widely read.














