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How To Break Free of the Drama Triangle and Victim Consciousness Paperback – April 9, 2014
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- Item Weight : 4.8 ounces
- Paperback : 94 pages
- ISBN-10 : 1499100299
- ISBN-13 : 978-1499100297
- Dimensions : 6 x 0.22 x 9 inches
- Publisher : CreateSpace Independent Publishing Platform; 1st edition (April 9, 2014)
- Language: : English
- Best Sellers Rank: #84,391 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)
- Customer Reviews:
Top reviews from the United States
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I am a mental health professional and I have owned a mental health clinic for over 10 years. This "Drama Triangle" and the victim consciousness that is an intricate dynamic in the drama, causes the majority of problems that I see in my clients. Yes, I said the majority of problems. I read this book in one sitting and immediately was able to put the "Break Free" component to therapeutic use that afternoon. I saw progress being made with those clients that day! I very highly recommend this book.
That said, there are some great insights here. A lot of it is regurgitated from other sources, but this is a nice, succinct presentation of the ideas. Yes, the Religion chapter left much to be desired for those of us from a committedly spiritual background. But I was forewarned on this by other reviewers and basically just skipped that chapter.
Some of the vignettes and anecdotal examples at the beginning were disappointingly stereotypical and even confusing. It was almost like the authors weren't even sure themselves quite which points they were trying to make with the examples. Some good editorial feedback could have cleared that up significantly (I work as an editor and author, so I've seen that process solve these kinds of problems).
But still, even with all these marks against this book...I highlighted the crap out of it and actually read the whole thing instead of losing interest halfway through and forgetting I even had the book (which happens often).
Overall, the Drama Triangle is a pretty simple concept, so the length of the book is appropriate. What is so difficult about this kind of thing is walking out the process of getting free of this mess. And these authors do a great job of giving insights on how to do that and what to expect along the way.
One point I take issue with: getting family members to ask for what they want from you isn't the end-all/be-all of this recovery process. The authors placed a heavy emphasis on asking people what they want from you. Though I see their point, I have family members who will gladly tell me what they want from me...But then the fact they asked, in their minds, obligates me to do what they want, and then it's still "my fault" when their needs don't get met and they're not happy with their lives. I could use some additional insight on how to ask while still maintaining my freedom to choose if/when/how I meet their needs.
Having grown up in a severely dysfunctional family, more advice on how to set up healthy patterns with my kids would have been appreciated, but that probably requires a separate book anyway.
Overall, worth the price and the time.
Top reviews from other countries
Its very well written, easy to follow and understand, well laid out, its only short but its jam packed with enough information to give you understanding.
Its very surprising when you do a drama triangle where you end up. I am a rescuer, been like it my entire life, i didnt even realise that i was making people feel stupid and worthless by always doing things for them, but it opened my eyes and you can switch that around and instead of rescuing you can become a teacher and instead of doing things for people you can teach them how to do it and let people help themselves.
The things that let it down are:
1. It just hasn’t been proof read! There are numerous grammatical mistakes, missed words and miss-spellings (“won” instead of “one” for example). These get more numerous towards the end of the book and make an otherwise useful text seem very amateurish.
2. The chapter on TET (Trauma Elimination Technique) seems suddenly very “woo woo” in the midst of all the cognitive approaches. This might have been so much better and more believable/helpful as an appendix.
3. The chapter on Christianity, I actually believe pretty much hits the mark, but it could have been written with much greater sensitivity to make it thought provoking. As written, it basically condemns Christianity and therefore Christians. This is going to upset a lot of people who might otherwise find this book very helpful.