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Breaking the Bonds of Adult Child Abuse: A Biblical Textbook on Abusive Narcissistic Families, How They Operate, and How to Deal with Them Paperback – March 29, 2011
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Top Customer Reviews
I am now 35. I broke all ties with them several years ago. I still hurt. They make sure of it. Yesterday was my birthday, and they had to stir up trouble. I turned to this book.
I have stayed out of therapy, because I did not think anyone would understand the outlandish things my mother does. Sister Renee Pittelli gets it. From an academic stand point, and from her experience, she understands narcissistic families. This is the book I have searched for for years.
This book is replete with insight into the painful situations common to abusive families, with the focus (for a change) being on how to support the victims, not on how to try to "understand" or "excuse" the perpetrators. Sister Pittelli provides extensive scriptural evidence of what God really requires of both parents and children in families- and it is not what our self-serving abusers told us it was! Our abusers may have demanded we "honor our father and our mother" (which conveniently may have been the only part of the bible they could quote!), but Sister Pittelli makes it clear, with biblical backup, that God never told us to honor evildoers, but rather to rebuke them and expose evil. Sister Pittelli distinguishes between those who are true Christians and those who display "psuedo-religious" behaviors while claiming to be Christian. We can indeed know people by their fruits- and a true Christian is not someone who repeatedly abuses people. This can be an area of great confusion for abused children, as their abusers often went to church and proclaimed themselves as Christians- all the while continuing to abuse us. Sister Pittelli points out that this is just more confusion created by the devil- originator of all confusion.
Sister Pittelli also points out that psychiatry/psychology has a terrible track record when it comes to curing sociopathy, narcissism and borderline personality, all of which can be characteristics of our abusers.Read more ›
A second remark: Pitelli presents the heresy that one should only forgive when the perpetrator is apologetic and remorseful, or at least until then one is justified in withholding forgiveness. I've lived five years since then without forgiving either of my parents. I've pretended to, even to myself. I've been self-righteous, thinking I am better than them. But in a simple review of my last relationship with a woman (we nearly married), I realized I treated her (who was like my mom) almost like I was my own father. And with these two repeating patterns, I would have despite my best efforts treated my kids like I'd been treated. Horrific.
I am still forgiving. The reason I withheld it is out of fear that if I forgave them, they would destroy me. And because growing up, forgiving was always about going back to the way things were without ever really discussing what happened to bring the bad situation up. Forgiveness meant the bad thing was forgotten about and no justice emerged. It's about losing. But with God, I see that forgiveness is letting them go of a debt, but it's also letting me go of a debt, too. Holding onto resentment just makes me bitter.Read more ›
Most Recent Customer Reviews
I really learned a lot about my family from reading this book. I also learned many things from the Bible that I was unaware of. Read morePublished 22 months ago by M. Lane
I absolutely LOVE Sister Renee Pittelli. I have just started reading this book today, and am skipping over the parts that don't apply to my particular situation, but the parts... Read morePublished on August 21, 2014 by JJ48
This book leads the reader down a dangerous path. Most of its 650 pages consists of bitter rants about every slight "Sister" Pittelli has ever endured from her family. Read morePublished on July 22, 2014 by silvershaman
An absolute must of you come from an abusive family background. Solid direction to deal with the hurt, pain and rejection of family.Published on July 18, 2014 by Jeanine M. Weintz
When looking for answers for narcissistic/antisocial personality disordered people or loved ones, this book hits the spot . Because it is based on the bible where truth originated. Read morePublished on March 13, 2014 by Daphne Lomax
If you want a little help, you'll get that. If you want true Christian help, that is questionable. It's too long, poorly edited and analysis is not logical or doesn't follow... Read morePublished on January 29, 2014 by Chameleon K.
Finally a book that shows you just how awful family is and how to deal with them. Hope for people drowning for years in toxic family systems. Can't share enough!Published on January 28, 2014 by linda Pittman
This book is an encouragement to victims to stop tolerating abuse from their parents. This book explains from God's Word how the Holy Spirit will help His children sift through... Read morePublished on January 21, 2014 by Frank L.