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The Breakup Workbook: A Common Sense Guide to Getting Over Your Ex Paperback – April 1, 2009
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About the Author
Melysha Jane (MJ) Acharya is a freelance copywriter living in Boston, MA. She founded BrokenHeartedGirl.com in 2004 as a place for women to connect, commiserate and heal their broken hearts. It has recently been named as one of the Top 6 Breakup Sites by smallbusiness.aol.com. MJ Acharya is a featured breakup expert on First30Days.com, the founder of brokenheartedgirl.com, a "Divorce & Breakup Examiner" for examiner.com and a contributor to Divorce360.com. She has been featured in The Detroit Free Press, The Oakland Press, HOUR Detroit Magazine, Strut Magazine, The Examiner-Boston and more.
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This book asks a lot of questions that are helping me to think through why things didn't work out. For example filling out answers for "Exercise 4: Question your relationship" helped me realize that a lot of the things I had really loved about my ex, the non-superficial things, were mostly gone toward the end of our relationship. While some of the sections are less applicable for someone with a clear cut relationship ending, between this and my use of wiki's how to get over a broken engagement (http://www.wikihow.com/Get-Over-a-Broken-Engagement) it feels like there is a lot of solid good advice available to me.
One thing that might be improved is adding some guidance for people that are cohabitating and how to sort out the division of assets. The author suggests putting his things in a box and having a friend take it away which works for people with less of an ex's stuff. Something that helped for me was having my mom come over to help me pack up his things in boxes and stay until after he picked up his things that evening. Anything else I come across goes into a box in the back of my closet that I'll get to him when I move to avoid a need to reach out every time I find something else. It also helps handling anything related to finances via email to avoid confusion and also to again to avoid having direct contact.
Fast forward to me ordering the kindle version of this book. I started reading and then saw there were things to ask myself, and write down. Seriously.. to me, that is a reason to close a book. I hate doing 'introspective stuff' .. but it wasn't much about me, and more about the relationship. This made it interesting.. questions had to do with events in the relationship, impressions, behaviours etc. As I literally was in bed, and didn't feel motivated to even do anything, I opened a blank page in Word, and did it .. with Kindle half on the screen (I have kindle for mac) and Word on the other half. What an eye opener.
This book definitely helped. It allowed me to see things for what they really were. No book can help anyone unless someone really wants help, but this book kept my mind off calling or seeing him, and was an important step in the process. I admit that I read it several times to get me through my tough patches, and it helped. This book helped me realize that the person I was dating really wasn't the person i thought he was.. and this wasn't from the book's advice, but via my responses to the questions in the book.