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Breeding in Captivity: One Woman's Unusual Path to Motherhood Hardcover – September 3, 2013
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"Stacy Bolt has written the perfect memoir-one that is so smart and funny and full of heart that it transcends what it's about and becomes instead, quite simply, a book about all of us. Breeding in Captivity is a dazzling, wise, beautiful debut. -Cheryl Strayed, author of Wild
“Honest, poignant, funny, and spot-on, Stacy Bolt’s Breeding in Captivity chronicles her and her husband’s winding—and a tad loopy—path to parenthood. Step into this memoir and you will be greeted at the door with a martini and a cozy seat in the middle of the heartbreaking, hopeful, and sometimes ridiculous world of infertility, guided by Bolt’s sure, witty, and heart-wise voice throughout.”
—Susan Woodring, author of Springtime on Mars
"Bolt is an infertile couple’s best friend. When laughs are required, she refers to the doctor’s office as 'The Spanketeria' and greets a negative pregnancy test by drinking straight from a bottle of champagne. Bolt is especially skilled at schadenfreude and not afraid to use it. After all, her difficult experience is destined to make others feel better. Beyond being infertile, Bolt’s endometriosis required surgery. When numerous rounds of uterine insemination (think: turkey baster) failed, she and her husband considered adoption . . . In writing about the deepest and darkest aspects of the quest to become a parent, Bolt’s prose can border on flippant—a girl’s guide gone pregnant—but she also writes with enviable acuity. . . . Infertility has a profound effect on hearts and pocketbooks, but with a martini glass in hand, Bolt promises comfort and humor to those hoping for as happy an ending as this book delivers." --Publishers Weekly
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Being the mother of a daughter who couldn't have babies, even though I knew from the time she was small that she was meant to be a mother of at least 3 with a house in the suburbs with the white picket fence, I had some idea of the pain. . But life didn't give her the opportunity to go through the infertility treatments or adoption. She took the lemons that life handed her and made lemonade, dealing with a cheating husband and divorce by going into new adventures, and new relationships that didn't include being a mom.
Then my son married his soulmate, and this couple who like Dave and Stacy have so much love to offer a child and would make the best parents, found themselves after 10 years of hoping and praying for a baby, now looking to adopt. They chose to skip the Infertility doctors. And so I now pray for the child who is out there somewhere who will be my grandchild. And I, as the hoping and praying grandmother, hurt also. I find myself feeling resentful when my friends send out the announcement of another grandchild. I watch this couple as they hald a friend's baby, and tears roll down my face. But I am learning to accept their situation and rejoice in the way they handle it. I have another daughter who has 3 children, and I love these precious grandchildren with all my heart, and am so grateful. But my heart hurts for my son and daughter-in-law. This book helped me understand a little better what they have gone through, and will go through in the adoption process.
However, I was turned off, about one-third through the book, when she began to use the F-word, again and again. She could have expressed her feelings using other words, which would have guaranteed her more empathy from readers. As it was, I began to question her qualifications to parent a child-- with such a potty mouth.
I sincerely hope she learns to discipline her speech, so that her son does not grow into a filthy-mouth teenager; this society does not need more of those types.
Her journey through the adoption process is spot on. The hoops she jumps through the feelings of euphoria and then the disappointment of a failed adoption. The anger that she has to fill out 120 questions and have someone "judge" her when women on meth and crack are having babies all the time with no issues. This book is honest and spot on while also being light hearted. This is a great book for those experiencing the pain of fertility struggles to know you are not alone and for those entering into adoption to read first hand some of the ups and downs that go along with that process as well. All paths to parenthood are a roller coaster, but each is a little different.