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Breeding in Captivity: One Woman's Unusual Path to Motherhood Hardcover – September 3, 2013
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"Stacy Bolt has written the perfect memoir-one that is so smart and funny and full of heart that it transcends what it's about and becomes instead, quite simply, a book about all of us. Breeding in Captivity is a dazzling, wise, beautiful debut. -Cheryl Strayed, author of Wild
“Honest, poignant, funny, and spot-on, Stacy Bolt’s Breeding in Captivity chronicles her and her husband’s winding—and a tad loopy—path to parenthood. Step into this memoir and you will be greeted at the door with a martini and a cozy seat in the middle of the heartbreaking, hopeful, and sometimes ridiculous world of infertility, guided by Bolt’s sure, witty, and heart-wise voice throughout.”
—Susan Woodring, author of Springtime on Mars
"Bolt is an infertile couple’s best friend. When laughs are required, she refers to the doctor’s office as 'The Spanketeria' and greets a negative pregnancy test by drinking straight from a bottle of champagne. Bolt is especially skilled at schadenfreude and not afraid to use it. After all, her difficult experience is destined to make others feel better. Beyond being infertile, Bolt’s endometriosis required surgery. When numerous rounds of uterine insemination (think: turkey baster) failed, she and her husband considered adoption . . . In writing about the deepest and darkest aspects of the quest to become a parent, Bolt’s prose can border on flippant—a girl’s guide gone pregnant—but she also writes with enviable acuity. . . . Infertility has a profound effect on hearts and pocketbooks, but with a martini glass in hand, Bolt promises comfort and humor to those hoping for as happy an ending as this book delivers." --Publishers Weekly
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At first I thought the light writing style would mean a light, easy read. It is easy to read but very quickly I was pulled into the story and associated emotional roller coaster. (Yes, it is a cliche and yes, it is accurate). The book is well written and I feel like I personally know all the characters. I feel like an honorary member of the group of friends she calls the coven. I feel like I was at the end of every email and phone call she sent out.
I highly recommend recommend this to every woman who has experienced the knowledge that starting a family isn't the easy natural thing that society paints it to. More importantly, I recommend this to very person who has a friend, family member or acquaintance who is going through the hell that is infertility, no matter what the eventual outcome.
Thank you for sharing your story.
I haven't gotten thru the whole thing yet but I just got it yesterday. I haven't read the whole part about their adoption, but I mostly bought it for the part before they looked into adoption. FYI: there are a lot of swear words in this book, in case that bothers anyone. Very well written.
Being the mother of a daughter who couldn't have babies, even though I knew from the time she was small that she was meant to be a mother of at least 3 with a house in the suburbs with the white picket fence, I had some idea of the pain. . But life didn't give her the opportunity to go through the infertility treatments or adoption. She took the lemons that life handed her and made lemonade, dealing with a cheating husband and divorce by going into new adventures, and new relationships that didn't include being a mom.
Then my son married his soulmate, and this couple who like Dave and Stacy have so much love to offer a child and would make the best parents, found themselves after 10 years of hoping and praying for a baby, now looking to adopt. They chose to skip the Infertility doctors. And so I now pray for the child who is out there somewhere who will be my grandchild. And I, as the hoping and praying grandmother, hurt also. I find myself feeling resentful when my friends send out the announcement of another grandchild. I watch this couple as they hald a friend's baby, and tears roll down my face. But I am learning to accept their situation and rejoice in the way they handle it. I have another daughter who has 3 children, and I love these precious grandchildren with all my heart, and am so grateful. But my heart hurts for my son and daughter-in-law. This book helped me understand a little better what they have gone through, and will go through in the adoption process.
Many memoirs tend to be overly sentimental and wallowing in self pity but not this one. Stacey Bolt tells it just like it is and she tells it beautifully.
BTW I’m not related to Stacey but share this piece of wisdom from chapter eight in my family, too: “I think the world would probably be fine without another passive-aggressive Bolt.”