- Hardcover: 320 pages
- Publisher: William Morrow; First Printing edition (April 10, 2012)
- Language: English
- ISBN-10: 0062002740
- ISBN-13: 978-0062002747
- Product Dimensions: 6 x 1 x 9 inches
- Shipping Weight: 1.1 pounds
- Average Customer Review: 4.2 out of 5 stars See all reviews (138 customer reviews)
- Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #748,132 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)
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Bringing Metal to the Children: The Complete Berzerker's Guide to World Tour Domination Hardcover – April 10, 2012
“Zakk Wylde. Great Player. Great Sound. Great friend.” (Eddie Van Halen)
“Zakk Wylde is one of the true Heavy Metal guitar heroes of his generation. They don’t come much beter than Zakk!” (Slash)
“If Zakk Wylde did not exisit, we would have to build him like Frankenstein’s monster. The hands of Randy Rhoads sewn onto the body of Conan the Barbarian implanted with the brain of Larry David.” (Rob Zombie)
“When Zakk plays, it’s like Guitarmageddon!! An audio assault coming from his fret board, the ture meaning of a guitar hero.” (Kerry King, Slayer)
“In my opinion, Zakk Wylde is the f*cking best guitarist in the world. He curses like a f*cking marine and knows more about f*cking music than anybody I’ve ever f*cking met. I hope you can use this f*cking opinion.” (William Shatner)
From the Back Cover
So you've watched the movies This Is Spinal Tap and Monty Python and the Holy Grail a hundred times each, and now you desire another brilliant opus to tickle your cranial sponge in a similar fashion. Well, look no further, fellow Berzerkers! Golden god Zakk Wylde and his brother-in-Metal Eric Hendrikx are about to take you on a Black Label Crusade of World Tour Domination, sharing never-before-told stories of backstage lunacy and Metal-maniacal anecdotes for the aspiring Berzerker like you.
Why would you need to buy this book about a modern-day Viking who strums his own fiddle for a living? You'd better ask yourself one simple question: Would you rather have us come beat the money out of you, or do you want to give it up the easy and painless way?
As a twenty-five-year veteran of the Ozzy Osbourne band and Black Label Society, Zakk Wylde has managed not only to stay alive against all odds but has also survived numerous attacks on his life by members of his own band, his wife, his children, his manager, and even his dogs. Among deranged tales of onstage indecent exposure and booze-fueled destruction, Wylde continues your Metal awakening with the sacred founding myths—explaining, for instance, how the forging of Metal in Valhalla begot the Black Label Empire—and lays out the battle-tested Rules of the Road.
For the young Metal Loki, Wylde offers exclusive tips on how not to make it in the business, insights about planning your band's tour and outfitting the Black Vatican recording studio, plus more useful advice on how to set up a shooting range on a tour bus and how to survive a mosh pit. Bringing Metal to the Children will make you laugh, weep, vomit—maybe even soil yourself—and if you aspire to new heights of Metal mayhem, get on the bus and get ready for the Metal ride of your life.
Top Customer Reviews
I've enjoyed Zakk's guitar work since he came out in 1988 as Ozzy's new axeman. I think he's a great player. I thought this book would give us some background into his life, and that it would include tons of stories about his career. Only about 30 percent of the book has this kind of stuff. The rest is babble having to do with the BLS lifestyle. In that way, I found the book a major disappointment.
The book is written by Zakk and one other person. If I had edited this book, I would have taken out everything written by the other guy. It was not necessary. I would have preferred a SUPER LONG career-spanning interview with Zakk than what we got in this book.
I will admit, though... a few of the stories (involving bowel movements) had me laughing so hard, my stomach was hurting. No book has ever made me laugh like I did with this one.
So buyer beware... reading this book is like having a conversation with dudes. You know, the kind of stuff guys talk about... that nobody else is supposed to hear. It's rude, obnoxious, shocking, homophobic, tasteless, and embarrassing. I almost quit reading because it was going nowhere.Read more ›
Zakk takes you on a tongue-in-cheek (or tongue in anus, as Zakk would probably call it..) adventure
through the music business and the Black Label Society. The humor may not be for everyone.
It is full of swearing and homosexual references, but people that love this type of music and
understand the character of Zakk Wylde will fully grasp the humor involved.
Zakk lovingly molests you through several chapters versing from what a Berserker is to the history of the
Black Vatican to how to survive while on tour as a musician. The stories shared in this book are worth the
price of admission! To find out the music business IS as bad as everything thinks it is, well that's priceless.
A hilarious read, I very well suggest this book to anyone that bleeds Black Label. Or Rock 'n Roll.
Randy V (author) - Coven of Celsus - Elizabeth: an erotic horror
PS - Zakk, I never got to tell you that the solo in "Riders of the Damned" is one of the most violent ass-kicking leads I have ever heard. Every time I hear that f~*^ing break I am compelled to play air guitar and destroy s~^t! Thank you for recording it! SDMF
Most Recent Customer Reviews
Hands down the best book I have ever read! Not only is it a nice back story to the man/myth/legend guitar player, but is also a testament to one of his long standing beliefs that... Read morePublished 4 months ago by James T.
HILARIOUS!!! Absolutely enjoyed this from start to finish. Zakk is as funny as he is musically talented. Read morePublished 4 months ago by Jeff McMillan
I read about half the book, and had enough of the bull$*** Viking God ego.I was hoping this would tell the story of how he grew up, got into playing guitar and going through a... Read morePublished 6 months ago by mark
Written for an audience of 13 year old boys, which is sad because Zakk is much smarter than that . Lots of juvenile humor and writing...Published 8 months ago by Bruce Dodson
I love all of Zakk's playing and songs. This book is a disappointment. This is not an autobiography with interesting stories. Just a bunch of rambling.Published 8 months ago by luvthe80s
My favorite book next to the Holy Bible! Zakk Wylde has always been my favorite heavy metal guitarist ever since I was a kid. Glad to have secured a copy of this! Read morePublished 10 months ago by Ron Jeremiah