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Nikki Haase

Broken Melody Paperback – July 19, 2020

by Nikki Haase (Author)

8 ratings

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I think a demon lives in me. Her name is Sunshine and she wants the numbing chemicals of cocaine. She craves the sweet, disgusting taste of heroin and the sharp flavors of crystal meth. We’re often told that drug addicts are lowly humans that drop out of school, can’t hold down a job, and they always come from a life of abuse and pain. I have friends who love me, parents who care about me, and a beautiful girlfriend who I adore. I was a straight-A student in high school. I was at the top of my class. I’ve been getting high since I was a kid to self-medicate mood swings that feel like whiplash on a good day. And I’ve messed up. Big time. Now, I owe the biggest dealer in town thousands of dollars! If he finds me, I’m dead. I can’t get the money and I can only hide out for so long. I have to get sober so I can get my head straight and figure this out. All I need is one more hit.

Print length

328 pages
Language

English
Publication date

July 19, 2020
Dimensions

5 x 0.83 x 8 inches
ISBN-10

0996703489
ISBN-13

978-0996703482
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Editorial Reviews

Review

★★★★ - "Nikki Haase has an enthralling way of introducing fascinating characters to readers. This book is an invitation into the mind and life of a young person struggling with addiction. It is heart-wrenching to see the potential in a person slowly chipped away at...The prose captures the voice of new adult angst and gives the characters an authenticity that makes them endearing and their stories all the more tragic." - Literary Titan

Product details

Publisher : Nikki Haase (July 19, 2020)
Language : English
Paperback : 328 pages
ISBN-10 : 0996703489
ISBN-13 : 978-0996703482
Item Weight : 12.6 ounces
Dimensions : 5 x 0.83 x 8 inches

Best Sellers Rank: #2,915,485 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)
- #1,159,741 in Literature & Fiction (Books)

Customer Reviews:
8 ratings

Customer reviews

5 star		57%
4 star		12%
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2 star		15%
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Half Human This Time

A slice of addict life; but no plot development after 60 pages

Reviewed in the United States on July 24, 2020

Verified Purchase

I wanted to like this book, but after 60+ pages of teenagers sitting around doing drugs, with no real advancing of the plot--no plot for that matter--I had to put it down. The text gave me an inside view of the struggles addicts face, rich in detail and commentary, but at page 70 I was still waiting for something more than snorting, drinking, smoking and shooting up at various locales. I feel this book can use some serious editing.

Helpful

Joe

Beautiful story

Reviewed in the United States on July 26, 2020

Verified Purchase

Loved this book. It is deep and gritty. This story gives you a good glimpse into the life of an addict and what motivates them. The characters are so real; I feel like I’ve met them all before.

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Amazon Customer

Good book

Reviewed in the United States on October 23, 2020

Verified Purchase

Great book to try and understand what its like to be an addict.

Helpful

Leelynn Brady

Deep novel about drug addiction and abuse

Reviewed in the United States on July 19, 2020

Disclaimer: I voluntarily read and reviewed an advanced copy of this book. All thoughts and opinions are my own. Thank you to Reedsy Discovery and Nikki Haase for this free copy. All quotes in this review are taken from the Advanced Reader Copy and may change in final publication.

Broken Melody deals with the very real world of drug abuse and addiction, and the costs that comes from the struggle of sobriety and relapse in a young woman.

Recent high school graduate Alana is struggling with her drug addiction to cocaine. Despite being a stellar student and previously able to balance her addiction with the rest of her responsibilities, being out of the confines of school has given her more freedom to do more drugs when she likes. As the drugs start to take over her life, her loved ones urge her to go to rehab to help her detox, and get back to being the person that they know and love. However, being on cocaine for years is not an easy thing to break.

Alana’s reasoning for resorting to cocaine is to help her deal with her bipolar disorder, saying that the drugs help her with the mood swings. She says that she has been self-medicating since she was a kid, so the many years of being on such a hard drug is long. She has already learned how to hide the fact that she’s addicted, and if one were to see how her life was progressing, one would have never thought something was amiss. But now, since she doesn’t seem to have a need to hide it, her family, friends, and girlfriend want her to get help. It even gets to a point where Alana brings shady people into her life that wouldn’t care whether she lived or died.

Haase’s exploration into addiction, recovery, and relapse was a difficult one to see. As I can’t speak to the representation of whether or not the depictions of drug abuse, drug addiction, and bipolar disorder are done correctly, I can only say that it is here. I hope that there will be more people that have experience in either of these can read this and attest to the authenticity of the representation.

In other aspects, the writing style and the prose was easy to follow, and one that I could read in future books from Haase. I am curious to see what is coming next from Haase, and what other kinds of topics she will explore in future books.

Helpful

A harrowing, passionately written story, that takes us deep into the psyche of addiction

Reviewed in the United States on September 10, 2020

Alana has a demon living inside her that she calls Sunshine. This is demon is dark, constantly throwing her between mania and depression, and the only way that Alana can silence Sunshine is through her addiction to toxic substances. Time is a mere figment. Her relationships are falling apart. And everything is spinning out of control.

In a harrowing, passionately written story, Nikki Haase takes us deep into the psyche of what addiction does to people. It’s unique to find a story specifically about a female addict as well, since most ride off the wave of Breaking Bad, focusing on the lives of male addicts instead. The story, told from Alana’s point-of-view, has the jittery focus of a drug addict. When she is high or stoned, her speech pattern reflected it, and while sober, she is more observant of her friends and her surroundings. Time moves weird in the book; sometimes days go by, or months, and like with any one struggling from addiction and mental illness, it doesn’t always make sense. This was brilliantly done.

Yet, while time becomes meaningless in Alana’s life, it does negatively impact the pacing. The first half of the book is a little slow, while second half moves a little too fast. I would have liked to spend more time with Alana after her life takes a turn for the worst. Possibly we don’t see it because Alana is living in a haze of addiction. She is inwardly focused, and when she’s on her high, she doesn’t feel anything.

Because of her inward focus, a lot of her friends are seen through a selfish lens. She sees them as “I don’t know why she loves me,” “I don’t understand why he cares,” etc. This doesn’t always work in a narrative, but I think it works well with Alana’s story…since it is very much about her. Granted it does take away from an emotional event that occurs, leaving two of her friends empty, as well as how her parents feel about her addiction. She’s a teenager, after all, and teenager are selfish.

Despite the book’s flaws, I really enjoyed it. It gave a sort of perspective that isn’t always addressed, and it also creates a sympathy for people who get stuck in a cycle of addiction. The book is also an examination of failed mental health systems, which ultimately led to Alana self medicating. Friends, even if they shouldn’t forgive someone, often are the changing forces in someone’s life. Even if I think some characters should have walked away from her, I understand why they didn’t. In real life, you don’t always give up on someone despite their battles. You might walk away for a bit, but it’s very realistic that you would come back.

I do recommend this book but with a caveat. It is dark. It’s about addiction and the horrors that face it. If this makes you uneasy, then this book is for you. But, if you want to explore the depth of someone’s psyche as they struggle through these horrors, I do recommend you check out Broken Melody.

I think it will be on my mind for awhile.

Note: I received a free copy of this book in exchange for an honest review.

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