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Buck Me Cowboy: A Secret Baby Romance Kindle Edition
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I don’t have a lot of DNF’s considering the number of books I buy and read but I couldn’t finish this one. I tried. I really did but it was awful. Seriously, I don’t know what book those who gave it 5 stars have been reading but it can’t have been this one. I read a lot of sexy books. I read a lot that some might call down right dirty. Some that might even push the boundaries of what is acceptable and what is not. Jade West is a brilliant author of that dirty kind of sexy. This author is not. I didn’t find anything about this story to be sexy. I felt sick at times, disgusted, revolted and for the most part, it was just cringeworthy.
References to anal sweat, pussy nectar and goopy white sperm is not even remotely sexy. Neither is hot, sweet baby batter. I feel like the author was just trying to find as many nauseating descriptions for sex and genitals as she could. The story starts with Maisie who is facing losing the family farm as the mortgage payments are way behind. A strange man appears on her property and he’s injured. Rather than just concentrate on stopping the man bleeding to death she gets fixated on a certain part of his anatomy. She’s a virgin and I’m not sure too many virgins would be doing what she does after a few minutes around an unconscious man she doesn’t know, and given she repeatedly refers to having never seen a naked man before. That’s when the whole story becomes little more than pages and pages of horribly written sex scenes with descriptions used that I’m not sure whether the author wants to shock us with them or make us all vomit. Part of me wonders why the author also feels the need to constantly point out that Maisie is a bigger girl. I found it kind of offensive to women of a curvier build as it almost implies she should be flattered that a man is giving her attention. I also got tired of the endless references to the size of his genitals. Seriously. I got it. He was hung like a horse and that’s where the author showed a remarkable lack of knowledge regarding a woman’s reproductive organs because if Tyler does half of what we’re told he does, then poor Maisie should be rushed to hospital.
Overall, this book was a gross insult to women, and especially larger women, as well as women who live in the country. Think of every insulting, derogatory comment you can think of and this book had it. It had a lot of inconsistencies with the story. It was poorly edited if edited at all and it lacked a storyline. Maybe it was there somewhere but all I read was endless references to her size, his size, sex, crudely described sex and a couple of lines of what I guessed was a story mixed in between. I did read long enough to learn that Tyler is actually not there for a good reason despite him helping Maisie around the farm and of course there was the endless cringeworthy sex and more anal sex than I think I’ve ever read in my life. With all the anal sex, regular sex and oral sex, all I could think was that poor girl was heading towards a major infection because that exchange of bacteria could only end badly for her.
I finally gave up because although I hate to quit reading any book I buy, this one just wasn’t improving and I couldn’t skim fast enough to get through it. I hoped it might surprise me and improve, but sadly it just kept getting worse. I’d label it as the worst book I’ve ever attempted to read.
By far one of the most ill-written books floating around on Amazon. And I am in no way a prude; I've read my share of smut and written some too. But Jesus H. Christ, how many ways can one person POSSIBLY describe a man's junk in one single paragraph? Also, "inhale his pube smell" is one sentence I never want to assault my eyeballs with ever again. Or the description of the man "chewing" his own semen?! On what planet is this actually considered sexy?
It's a miracle I didn't throw up at any point while reading this.
Was there even a plot behind this book? I'm not even sure - it was like sprinkles of plot line between massive steaming piles of really nasty sex. And I mean the BAD nasty, not the good.
So please, save your eyeballs. And save your 99 cents. Or just have a doggy bag at the ready, because you're gonna need it.