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Building Love Together in Blended Families: The 5 Love Languages and Becoming Stepfamily Smart Paperback – February 4, 2020
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Praise for Building Love Together in Blended Families
“In this accessible and game-changing guide, Dr. Gary Chapman and Ron Deal delve into the real issues stepfamilies face but often don't know how to talk about. With a unique approach based on The 5 Love Languages model, they provide a practical and empowering path forward for parents and children alike.”
New York Times bestselling author of Maybe You Should Talk to Someone
“The complex emotional challenges often associated with stepfamilies have proven challenging for countless people—and the fallout can be incredibly painful. However, Gary Chapman and Ron Deal have good news: it’s more than possible for blended families to enjoy thriving relationships! Their new book brings together their combined and time-tested wisdom to show you how your own blended family can flourish amidst your “new normal.” ”
President, Focus on the Family
“What an incredible resource! Nobody but Gary and Ron, two world-class experts, could have written this powerful book. The wisdom they impart is priceless. Every couple in a blended family - and every extended family member connected to them - needs to read this valuable book. It’s engaging, grounded and immeasurably practical.”
Les and Leslie Parrott
#1 New York Times bestselling authors of Saving Your Marriage before It Starts
“The blended family is a new norm in our culture and world. It involves so many difficult challenges and complexities in the search for ways to promote healthy parenting, love, safety, healing, and structure. Gary Chapman and Ron Deal have written the best book I have read on the subject. They are clear, straightforward, and practical in the steps and skills they provide, especially in how the five love languages apply tothe relationships. Chapter 1 alone is worth the price of the book. Highly recommended.”
New York Times bestselling author of the Boundaries book series
Founder, the Townsend Institute for Leadership and Counseling
“I cannot think of a better layer to add to the blended family conversation than the understanding of how each of us view the world. We all have a different lens with which we see the world—our circumstances and situations. We each have our own “language” that is uniquely ours or uniquely theirs. As we begin to understand one another’s language, we can better understand how to recognize and meet each other’s needs. From parents to children. I cannot think of a more dynamic duo in this blended conversation than Ron Deal and Gary Chapman.”
Sandi Patty Peslis
Artist and mom to a beautiful blended family
“To the thousands of families I’ve worked with who didn’t feel so much blended as busted? This. This is the book we’ve all been waiting for. Gary Chapman and Ron Deal have cracked the code for those of us who are living with other people’s children and are longing to love them with honesty and compassion. Not only will the words within these pages strengthen your family, they will ground your marriage in new and deeper ways. This book is essential reading for any stepparent.”
Bestselling author of the Husband Project and coauthor of But I’m Not a Wicked Stepmom
“So often two families are put together without being prepared for the challenges ahead, Building Love Together in Blended Families is a great tool for preparing everyone involved. It allows you to reach for the others in the family that is to be. To love the way another most powerfully feels loved¿is the foundation of a blended family.”¿
Author and Founder of New Life LIVE!
“Creating a loving home is why couples form a blended family. But the process takes time and purpose. As a social researcher, I’ve seen that all parties—parents, stepparents, the children themselves—long for great relationships. I’ve also seen that understanding each other is the missing link. I can’t think of two experts better suited to help you do that than Ron Deal and Gary Chapman. This is a fantastic book, and is the essential guide all blended families need.”
Social researcher and bestselling author of For Women Only, For Parents Only, and The Kindness Challenge
“Ron Deal and Gary Chapman are absolutely the perfect blend to enrich your blended family relationships. With over three decades of experience, Ron is THE leading authority globally on blended families. None better. And Gary, he is one of the top writers of our day. This is destined to be a bestseller and a classic for blended families everywhere.”
“In our work with married couples, we’ve found that many of the most complicated issues facing modern marriages stem from blended family dynamics. In this powerful and practical new book, Gary Chapman and Ron Deal draw on their unparalleled expertise to masterfully unravel the complexities of blended family dynamics. Every chapter felt like a master class for spouses, parents and stepparents. This book will be a game-changer for every blended family!”
Dave and Ashley Willis
Authors of The Naked Marriage and hosts of The Naked Marriage podcast
“When you love someone, you can’t help but show and tell about the people you love. But the realities of life and complexities of blended families can take their toll in living it out. This book, by two highly regarded relationship experts, will help you love your family more completely and with greater wisdom than ever before. You’ll love it and grow because of it, too!”
President and CEO of FamilyLife
“When I think of the most outstanding authority on marriage I know, I think of Gary Chapman and when I think of my go-to person on blended families, I think of Ron Deal. This book is a combination of the best of both of these two incredible writers and communicators. I loved every page in this most helpful book.”
President, HomeWord; author, Doing Life with Your Adult Children
“Stepfamilies and first families are inherently different. The same rules just don’t apply. Adapting The 5 Love Languages to fit blended family life? Brilliant! This is the book every remarried couple needs to read—together!”
Founder and publisher, StepMom Magazine
“Step families need a common language to build trust, connection, and new attachments.¿Building Love Together in Blended Families¿provides a path to “speak love” mutually so each family member can accept the love they need to grow closer. This is a wonderful hands-on resource.”
Gil and Brenda Stuart
Authors of Restored and Remarried
“This book offers valuable insight on how to apply the well-known principles of the five love languages in blended family relationships with those who may—or may not—seek to receive love or offer love in return. It’s practical, realistic, and inspiring. If you’re in a blended family, you need this book.”
Author of Stepparenting with Grace: A Devotional for Blended Families
“The 5 Love Languages has had such a major impact on our marriage and The Smart Stepfamily gave us a roadmap to navigate blended family life. But Ron Deal and Gary Chapman’s collaboration in Building Love Together in Blended Families really gave us a blueprint for building long, lasting, loving relationships in our home.”
Lamar and Ronnie Tyler
Speakers and cofounders of BlackandMarriedwithKids.com¿
From the Back Cover
“This book is a practical and empowering path forward for parents and children alike."
Lori Gottlieb, New York Times bestselling author of Maybe You Should Talk to Someone: A Therapist, Her Therapist, and Our Lives Revealed.
Blended families encounter unique challenges many do not anticipate. New relationships can disrupt familial roles while triggering pain from past loss. Relationship expert Gary Chapman and stepfamily expert Ron L. Deal collaborate to demonstrate how the five love languages can help blended families build relationships that honor the past while looking to the future. Their insights address questions like:
-How do I focus on my marriage while helping my children adjust to a new family?
-How do I honor an adult stepchild who feels threatened by my presence?
-How do I build a relationship with a new stepgrandchild?
The dynamics of a blended family vary greatly from that of a biological family, so giving and receiving love is not as easy as it may seem. In Building Love Together in Blended Families you’ll find strategies to care for yourself, your children, and your new marriage. Merging lives is challenging, but thoughtful hearts and commitment to learning will lay a foundation for your blended family to grow together.
- Item Weight : 8 ounces
- Paperback : 192 pages
- ISBN-10 : 0802419054
- ISBN-13 : 978-0802419057
- Product Dimensions : 5.5 x 0.42 x 8.5 inches
- Publisher : Northfield Publishing (February 4, 2020)
- Language: : English
- Best Sellers Rank: #7,906 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)
- Customer Reviews:
Top reviews from the United States
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We are passionate about marriage and particularly marriages that create blended families. We have been leading a short term small group at our church since 2014 utilizing Ron Deal's The Smart Stepfamily materials. We love Ron's heart of redemption and grace! About the same time, if not a little sooner, we encountered Gary Chapman's 5 Love Languages and literally recommend it to every couple we encounter!! The blending (pun intended) of these two dynamic teaching concepts into one book is an outstanding tool for anyone in a stepfamily or in a relationship that will lead to a stepfamily!
Learning how to express love to people who you haven't known their entire lives...when to lean in and when to back off a bit...how to show love to someone who is basically shutting you out...why it may be necessary to dial back your expectations a bit.
It's a fast read...even for slow readers like me, and it is full of real life examples of how things weren't working and ways you can redirect and get on better footing with your "steps." Getting married and have grown kids? There's an entire chapter dedicated to how to deal with adult stepkids who may not be too keen on this new marriage. Have a child who has married and is now a step-parent...making you a step grandparent? This book talks about that, too!
Seriously, do yourself a favor and get this book and a highlighter. You're going to be marking a LOT of new ways of thinking and approaching seemingly insurmountable situations!
I've already given away two copies and have told several people about it! It’s been so impactful for me to help make sense of many things I experienced as a child growing up with divorced parents. I will be getting books for several others hoping they gain understanding so that they will be able to make peace with the past and with others, to help them understand the feelings of guilt when juggling time between families, and so much more. I so appreciate the authors giving voice and validation to the many emotional struggles I endured that carried into adulthood.
Thank you, Gary Chapman and Ron Deal, for continuing your work in helping people understand one another and communicate better in order to create relationships that not only co-exist and survive, but thrive!