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The Bullpen Gospels: A Non-Prospect's Pursuit of the Major Leagues and the Meaning of Life Paperback – April 1, 2010
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"If Holden Caulfield could dial up his fastball to 90 mph, he might have written this funny, touching memoir about a ballplayer at a career--and life--crossroads. He might have called it 'Pitcher in the Rye.' Instead, he left it to Dirk Hayhurst, the only writer in the business who can make you laugh, make you cry and strike out Ryan Howard."--King Kaufman, Salon "The Bullpen Gospels is a funny bone-tickling, tear duct-stimulating, feel-good story that will leave die-hard baseball fans--and die-hard human beings, for that matter--well, feeling good."--Bob Mitchell, author of Once Upon a Fastball
- Print length352 pages
- LanguageEnglish
- PublisherCitadel
- Publication dateApril 1, 2010
- Dimensions5.5 x 0.9 x 8.3 inches
- ISBN-100806531436
- ISBN-13978-0806531434
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From the Author
Best Baseball Autobiography Since Bouton?
Dirk Hayhurst's description of himself for the author's ID in his upcoming book The Bullpen Gospels reads in part, "Dirk is a former member of the San Diego Padres, and after this book gets printed, a former member of the Toronto Blue Jays."
I'm not sure he's correct. In fact, I'm not sure that in these times when so many fans feel like they're constantly having the wool pulled over their eyes by athletes ill-equipped for the attempt, if Hayhurst's constant honesty, his remarkable candor, his drumbeat of unadorned confessed self-doubt, and his seamless writing, won't resonate through the sport like the first true wonderful day of spring when the game and the weather finally reassure you that winter has been beaten back, at least for a season.
In fact, I'm not sure that he hasn't written the best baseball autobiography since Jim Bouton's Ball Four. For Hayhurst, who bombed as a starter for the Padres in 2008 and then showed promise out of the Jays' bullpen the season past, has written what Bouton wrote, and what a decade before Bouton, what Jim Brosnan wrote - a book that is seemingly about baseball but which, as you read further and further into it, is obviously much bigger than that. These are books about life: struggle, confusion, purpose, purposelessness, and the startling realization that achievement and failure are nearly-identical twins, one which gnaws and deadens, the other which just as often produces not elation but a tinny, empty sound.
Brosnan's achievement, in The Long Season and Pennant Race, was to introduce to a world which previously had no information of any kind on the subject, the concept of athlete as human being. What did he have to do when demoted, or traded? What happened when management changed? Was there a Mrs. Athlete, and could they share a martini now and again? (answer: You bet).
Bouton's breakthrough was to show the concept of athlete as flawed human being. Too many martinis, some of them shared with women other than Mrs. Athlete. Athletes who might not have been geniuses on the field or off, but who seemed invariably managed and coached by men even less intelligent. The struggle to self-start as one's team sank from optimism, to contention, to inconsistency, to irrelevance, to embarrassment. And yet, were they enjoying themselves, did their lives change for the better, was being an athlete fun? (answer: You bet).
And now here is Hayhurst, who may single-handedly steer baseball away from the two decades-long vise grip of Sport-As-Skill-Development. Since my own childhood, we have ever-increasingly devalued every major leaguer but the superstar. Late in the last century we began to devalue every minor leaguer but the top draft choice. If you don't make it into somebody's Top Prospects list, you might as well not exist. Dirk Hayhurst is writing of his days, his months, his years, as far away from the Top Prospects lists as imaginable. He is, in The Bullpen Gospels, often the last man on an A-ball pitching staff, and trying to answer a series of successively worsening questions cascading from the simplest of them: Why?
This, of course, is why the book transcends the game. It's not just Dirk Hayhurst's existential doubt about whether he'll reach the majors or why he's still trying or if he shouldn't be helping the homeless instead of worrying about getting the last out of a seven-run inning. He is experiencing the crisis of reality through which we all pass, often daily: when our dreams about life crash head first into its realities, what the hell are we supposed to do then?
Thus The Bullpen Gospels is a baseball book the way "Is That All There Is?" is a Leiber-Stoller pop song by Peggy Lee from 1969. It is the primordial battle of hope and faith and inspiration versus disillusionment and rust and inertia.
Sounds pretty grim, doesn't it? But of course therein lies the delightful twist: like Brosnan and Bouton before him, Hayhurst repeatedly rediscovers the absurd hilarity of it all, and the book is consistently laugh-out-loud funny. And like all great artists, he pulls back curtains we never thought to investigate: from how assiduously minor leaguers debate which "Come-out songs" they will choose or which numbers they will wear, to the pecking order of seat locations on the ever-infamous bush league bus trip.
My favorite is probably the mechanics of something the average reader will have never heard of before, let alone have contemplated. It's "the host family" - the living arrangements by which the non-first-rounders survive their seasons in the minors. Hayhurst hilariously defines such temporary homes as ranging from Wackford Squeers' Dotheboys Hall, to the visitations from In Cold Blood.
It doesn't hurt that Hayhurst is a fluid and gifted writer, whose prose can take off like a jet and compel you to read for half an hour more than you have. He populates the pages of The Bullpen Gospels with teammates, some identified, some amalgamated, some under aliases - and if the book takes off, ripping the Hayhurstian masks off the more colorful ones may become a low-key hobby after the book is published on March 30th.
The reaction will be fascinating to see. In 1970, my father endured my clamoring and bought Ball Four and read it himself before handing it to me: "I know you know all these words. Just don't use them around the house. Read this carefully, there's a lot of truth in here." But ever since, we fans have been bombarded for decades by altered versions of truth, all of them writ large and desperately trying to impress us with their essential-ness. Baseball books have tended to focus only on the big, and to try to make it bigger still. We've gone from the unlikely accuracy of Jose Canseco's slimy indictment of the steroid era, through the analyze-all-the-damn-fun-out-of-the-game-why-don't-you tone of Moneyball and its imitators, through what may in retrospect be seen as a Hayhurst-precursor in Matt McCarthy's fraudulent Odd Man Out, through dozens of historical works insisting everything that has ever happened in baseball has re-shaped the nation - Jackie Robinson (yes), the 1951 N.L. pennant race (very possibly), the 1912 World Series (no way).
Here, instead, will be a modest book by a modest relief pitcher who has appeared in the modest total of 25 major league games presenting what the modest author thinks (incorrectly) is only modest truth. He has yet to get his own major league baseball card and as I write this there are exactly two of his souvenirs available on eBay and one of them is a photo for $6.99 ("Or Best Offer"). His preface warns you if you seek scandal or steroids, look elsewhere, and the only bold face name in the whole 340 pages, Trevor Hoffman, comes across as a low-key gentleman.
And yet there in the prologue Hayhurst offers a key to what he has written and why, self-guidance to which he sticks pretty neatly: "I also believe there is more to the game than just baseball. For all the great things baseball is, there are some things it is absolutely not. And that is what this story is all about."
Of course, just as Bouton's exposure of the real flaws of the real men who played baseball in 1969 made them even more appealing than the phony deities into which they'd been transformed, the great things are made somehow greater by how well Hayhurst contextualizes them, how honestly he tells his story, and how vividly he takes us inside his world.
-- Keith Olbermann
(edited by author)From the Inside Flap
Hayhurst, who pitched quite credibly for Toronto last season, was kind enough to send me an advance copy of his book, The Bullpen Gospels, which is due out at the end of March. With stellar reviews from Keith Olbermann, Rob Neyer, Tim Kurkijan, Tom Verducci, and Trevor Hoffman, among others, the book hardly needs my seal of approval to cement its place in baseball's literary canon.
But it sure has it. The Bullpen Gospels is hilarious, touching, unflinching in its honesty, and unapologetic in its basic decency. Major league athletes are expected to be confident to the point of arrogance - in fact, we think of it as essential to their success -- but in Gospels, the author turns a hard, narrow focus on his own self-doubt. The hilarious minor-league antics and touching tales of stepping out of his uniform to act like a real person, I had come to expect from Hayhurst's "Non-Prospect Diary", but I wasn't prepared for the raw honesty regarding offseason life back in Ohio or the nagging self-doubt that regularly accompanied the pitcher everywhere, including the mound.
I was even less prepared for the extent to which I related to that part of the story and how many of the same experiences I had myself had - the messed-up family life, the sometimes crushing self-doubt. And, most of all, the way that those things cause the desperate need to prove oneself by succeeding to the fullest in one's career - how that drive for success leads to ever-greater outward success without ever fixing the problems that caused that desire for success in the first place - because, how can it?
But, in a way, that's the point - strip away the media persona and the trappings of the professional baseball player, and what is a minor-league player? A young man, probably in his early-to-mid 20s, with sporadic but near-crippling self-doubt, equally intermittent feelings of invincibility, a desperate need to prove himself without a full understanding of why, little money, and, playing the percentages, serious father issues. And here I thought that all Dirk and I had in common was our love for comic books.
None of this is to take away from the fact that The Bullpen Gospels is very much a baseball book. The ball scenes are exciting, the moments of team camaraderie genuine and memorable, and the bullpen hijinx hilarious. I have no doubt that the former and current players who have extolled how accuratelyGospels captures the essence of playing baseball for a living are completely right. But I thought the book was much more than that. As Hayhurst himself mentions in his conversation with Trevor Hoffman late in the book, it's not only about what baseball is, but also what it's not.
It's difficult to write an autobiographical book in which you are fair about yourself. I speak from experience - although I was a biochemistry major in college, I lacked the scientific inspiration to do my honours thesis in that field, so I fell back on my other major, English, and wrote a book of creative autobiographical non-fiction. I had the stories to tell but not the willingness to make myself look bad, nor the dishonesty to make myself look good, so I ended up writing as little about myself as possible. But full credit to Dirk - The Bullpen Gospels tells the stories that make him look good and doesn't shy away from the ones that make him look bad. I can't believe I spent the 2009 season rooting for a guy who yells at his grandmother to shut up!
As a lawyer, I would be remiss if I didn't mention the unbelievably hilarious Kangaroo Court scenes -- some of my favourites in the book - where players bring one another up on "charges" -- ranging from the effects of eating too much Mexican food to talking about oneself in the third person to rank stupidity -- and try them before a jury of their peers.
I can't encourage you enough to pick up a copy of The Bullpen Gospels. You will speed through it and, if you are like me, gain a new appreciation for ballplayers, not for the work that they do, but for the men that they (at least, some of them!) are. You will laugh your tail off on one page and, quite possibly, tear up on the next. Most of all, laughing with the guys on the team, suffering through uncomfortable bus rides and fleabag motels, experiencing the agony of letting a game slip through your fingers, the despair in getting busted down a level, and the joy in victory, you'll feel like you - an ordinary person - are a ballplayer. But you'll also feel like the ballplayer is, for once, an ordinary person.
Blue Bird Banter.com
From the Back Cover
In his upcoming book, "The Bullpen Gospels: Major League Dreams of a Minor League Veteran," Hayhurst tackles this issue head-on, the issue of labels and identity and the problems that come along with them. For a struggling non-prospect, it can become a mind game that quickly affects on-field events, summoning Hayhurst's dreaded "Baseball Reaper."
It is a battle waged by many Minor Leaguers like Hayhurst.
"My dream has made me into a commodity, a product, only as valuable as the string of numbers attached to my name -- like some printout stuck in the window of a used car. The reality of my professional baseball player's life is that most people have no idea who I am, nor do they care."
After "The Bullpen Gospels," people will know exactly who Hayhurst is and they should see ballplayers as more than just numbers on the backs of jerseys. Much like Hayhurst and others spend careers fighting labels, it is too simple to call "The Bullpen Gospels" a baseball book. It is so much more. It is a book about life, with baseball as the backdrop.
Like Jim Bouton before him, Hayhurst shows that a ballplayer can be so much more than the average fan realizes. Hayhurst's tome is worthy of being compared to Bouton's "Ball Four" -- considered to be one of the best baseball books written. Bouton and Hayhurst both show the humanity of ballplayers. They are flawed, just like you and me, whether we want to believe it or not.
The pedestal is emphatically removed, but Hayhurst does not take anyone down with it. He avoids using "The Bullpen Gospels" as a platform to shed light on the ugly side of the game that has been stealing the headlines for the past few years. The book can be crude and it does go deep behind the scenes, but Hayhurst does more good than harm.
In that vein, Hayhurst let's it be known on the book's very first page that his tale strays from the recent trend.
"This book's purpose is to entertain, not to name names; pull the covers off the bare *** of drug use; show cheaters, adulterers, or tax dodgers; or do any other whistle-blowing. If you are looking for someone's dirty laundry, you won't find it here."
The only dirty laundry is probably that stinking pile belonging to Hayhurst's Minor League roommate.
With his unique style and perspective, Hayhurst takes the reader into the grimy corners of baseball that fans rarely ponder. He turns the spotlight on life in the Minor Leagues, stripping away the myth of ballplayers as superheroes and instead revealing them as humans who deal with the same life issues faced by the people in the stands.
That is why this book resonates.
"Baseball is a lot of things, but it's not everything," he writes. "It can't make your brother sober. It can't make your family stop fighting. It can't make peace or win wars or cure cancer. It makes or breaks a lot of people, like many jobs where the folks who do it find their identity. I don't know if it should be as valuable as it is, or maybe baseball is valuable, and we players just don't use it the right way. I guess that's what I want to figure out in the book."
One of Hayhurst's main issues is self-doubt. It's a problem he deals with throughout the book, which chronicles his 2007 season spent in the Padres' farm system. It opens with him pitching to high schoolers in a run-down machine shop over the offseason, bribing them with sports drinks to convince them to stand in the batter's box.
From there, Hayhurst weaves a tale that includes plenty of moments that will have you laughing as you breeze through pages, as well as serious turns that will have you tearing up. It is not always a feel-good story, but that was never Hayhurst's intent. He was close to walking away from his career and constantly tries to understand why he hasn't already.
On the mound, things make more sense. Off the field, things are more complex, and often confusing and combative.
"The nice thing about pitching, I decided, was while I was doing it, I always knew what the goal was. Get an out; get a couple of outs. Life, on the other hand, wasn't so clear. The trouble was baseball was my life. The two were connected somehow, that much I knew. Yet I didn't know the proper formula and was tired of the explosive result they yielded when mixed."
Hayhurst's brand of comedy is on full display as he brings the reader along for long bus rides, takes them into bad hotels and cramped clubhouses, shows the many ways pitchers pass the time in the bullpen, details things like the host family system in the Minors and Spring Training protocol, and explains the art of picking rooms, roommates, jersey numbers and, perhaps most important, the come-out music used throughout a season.
"Come-out songs are selected in a much more metaphysical way. Guys will skulk around with their headphones on, iPods cranked, trying to gauge the "power" of favored songs. Then they'll turn to their teammates. "Listen to this. Which one do you think sounds more bad***?" The headphones will get passed, the music replayed, the headphones passed back. "I don't know; they're both good." Very few players have one sone they favor over all others, and it usually comes down to the wire.
"Country boys will choose country songs -- tunes about their homeland, their heritage, and their pickup truck. The prima donna with the flashy car and the jet-setter wardrobe will select a hip-hop ballad declaring what a stunner Pimp, or Baller he is. The hard-edged guy with the short temper and addiction to Red Bull will require a rock song that makes him feel like Bruce Banner on the verge of becoming the Incredible Hulk. All these choices are safe, but the ones that make for the best are those that stray from the beaten path. Some guys may like the path they're on just fine, but personally, I believe a little originality makes a player and his tune memorable. This year I decided that if I didn't pitch well, at least I would be remembered for my song. I picked "Give It to Me Baby" by Rick James."
It's these lighter moments that help break up the harsh reality of roster cuts, demotions, searching for identity, or even poor offseason living conditions. During one memorable stretch of pages, Hayhurst describes life with his gun-wielding grandma. His Minor League salary does not allow for better arrangements. Unfortunate for Hayhurst. Great for the reader.
"She provided a roof over my head, and for that I'm thankful, but my life with her is far from fantasy. She'll tell you she treats me like a prince. She'll tell you a lot of things. Like how she saved Einstein from the Nazis or the stretch of Underground Railroad beneath the house. What she won't tell you is how she keeps me in the sewing room, on an air mattress, with nothing but a card table and a suitcase."
Hayhurst has said that it was during this time of his life that he began contemplating this book. He was so close to hanging up his spikes and figured a writing career might be a better option. As it turns out, Hayhurst wound up compiling his book during the best season of his Minor League career -- one that helped lead to his first taste of The Show.
To date, Hayhurst has 25 games in the big leagues under his belt. Not that many people have noticed.
"The vast majority of people who love this game care only for big-time players with big-time numbers," he writes. "I wasn't one of those, but I was faking it as best I could."
Well, Hayhurst has written a big-time book. That much is clear.
--Jordan Bastian - mlb.com (edited by author)
About the Author
Product details
- Publisher : Citadel; 1st edition (April 1, 2010)
- Language : English
- Paperback : 352 pages
- ISBN-10 : 0806531436
- ISBN-13 : 978-0806531434
- Item Weight : 11.6 ounces
- Dimensions : 5.5 x 0.9 x 8.3 inches
- Best Sellers Rank: #762,121 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)
- #533 in Baseball Biographies (Books)
- #1,266 in Baseball (Books)
- #21,788 in Memoirs (Books)
- Customer Reviews:
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About the author

Born in Canton, Ohio in 1981, Dirk grew up in the small town of Canton South where he attended Canton South high school, home of the Wildcats. Dirk holds a degree in communication studies from Kent State University, where he is also a member of the athletic hall of fame.
Dirk was drafted by the San Diego Padres in the 8th round of the 2003 amateur player draft. He signed as a senior in college at Kent State University, put his communication degree on hold, and set off to the fabled Northwest League to become a Eugene Emerald.
After 6 years of toiling in the minors, playing for the Eugene Emeralds, Fort Wayne Wizards, Lake Elsinore Storm, Mobile BayBears, San Antonio Missions, and Portland Beavers, Dirk emerged in the big leagues with San Diego to start against the San Fransico Giants on August, 23, 2008. His performance in that start was unremarkable, but the story between the two aforementioned dates is not.
Dirk’s literary work was first featured at baseballamerica.com, where he wrote The Non-Prospect Diaries (now The Bullpen Gospels, in connection with his book), a blog about the other side of the baseball dream. At the time Dirk had no idea he would someday become a big leaguer, and the column was Dirk’s way of keeping perspective in the midst of all the crazy things he encountered on the minor league trail. As it would happen, The Non-Prospect Diaries became so popular he was approached by several newspapers, including that of his home town, The CantonRepository, where he began a column called The Bullpen Gospels. Only one year (and several thousand readers) later, Dirk was not only knocking on the door of the big leagues but in discussions to write a book as well.
Dirk’s first book, The Bullpen Gospels, came out on March 30, 2010 and was met with a surge of acclaim from all manner of key figures, such as Keith Olbermann, Bob Costas, Jayson Stark, Tim McCarver, Tom Verducci, and several esteemed print sources like, The New York Times, Sports Illustrated, The Boston Globe, and the list goes on. Out Of My League, the sequel to The Bullpen Gospels, about Dirk's 40 days and nights as a rookie in the Big leagues, was also a best seller and has earned Dirk the title of "best author to wear baseball uniform" according the New York Times. Dirk wrote a follow up to Out Of My League via an Ebook companion titled Wild Pitches. Bigger Than The Game is the 3rd book in what is now known as the Bullpen Gospels trilogy and considered by many to be his most important contribution to baseball writing.
In 2012, Dirk started his third professional career as a professional broadcaster and baseball analyst. Dirk has became a contributor for ESPN, SportsNet, TSN, the Olbermann Show on ESPN 2, and a panelist on TBS's coverage of the MLB post season. Dirk is also a regular guest of various MLB related shows around the country.
****Praise for Dirk Hayhurst's Writing****
"Sharp insights and searing honesty about depression, addiction, and baseball"
—Tyler Kepner, The New York Times.
“By writing courageously about mental health and insightfully about the rise of social media, Hayhurst has done more than take us inside our national pastime. He’s provided us with a window to our national consciousness. BIGGER THAN THE GAME represents Hayhurst’s thought-provoking legacy to the sport.”
—John Paul Morosi, Fox Sports.
"Hayhurst’s book delves deeper into what happens when a player is broken physically, but it goes a step further, detailing what can happen when a player is also broken mentally. This is a rare treat, and would be essential reading for this fact alone, even if the tale was not well conveyed. However, the book is an incredibly entertaining rollercoaster ride."
—The Hardball Times
"Dirk Hayhurst has a keen eye for finding the human side in the business-oriented world of professional baseball, something he's demonstrated in his excellent books. Largely based on his own experiences, but fuelled by the power of his observations, Bigger Than the Game gives readers a more insightful look at the game."
—Shi Davidi, Toronto Blue Jays beat writer for Sportsnet.ca
"Bigger Than The Game not only adds to Dirk Hayhurst's pedigree as a writer; it explores uncharted baseball waters with the unique, observant, entertaining eye Hayhurst is famous for. A must read."
—Jeff Blair, columnist for The Globe And Mail, author of Full Count: Four Decades of Blue Jays Baseball
"Dirk Hayhurst Cements His Baseball Legacy with Bigger Than the Game"
—Tyler Duma, Bleacher Report.
"Even more than he did in The Bullpen Gospels, Dirk Hayhurst teaches us here what happens when a 'dream career' collides with reality. There is such universality in his struggles, that if by the book's end you don't become him in your mind, there's probably something wrong with your heart."
--Keith Olbermann
"We all know the story of the wide-eyed rookie just happy to reach the major leagues. Problem is, there's so much more to it. Dirk Hayhurst takes us along on his journey from fringe prospect to major leaguer, with its exhilarating highs but also its punishing lows. The ride is gripping, revealing--and not at all what you'd expect. The author peels back his evolution as a person and a player, ranging far from the field yet showing compelling sides of the game that fans rarely see."
--Tyler Kepner, The New York Times
"Once again, Dirk Hayhurst brings readers into a world they rarely see: the hardscrabble world of minor-league baseball. It is a world full of political drama, financial stress and daily heartache. These are players you rarely hear about, players who rarely become rich or famous. Most, in fact, face the same kinds of struggles as the rest of us."
--Ken Rosenthal, Fox Sports
"Dirk Hayhurst has done it again. His second book is as good if not better than his first. Turns out he's a starter and a closer."
--Tim Kurkjian, ESPN
"Baseball is a game governed by countless rules, none bigger than this one: Don't over think it. Dirk Hayhurst takes us down the rabbit hole that is his mind, to a place where that rule is constantly violated, every decision, every move, every breath over thought. In the process, he provides a brutally honest take on life in the majors--the oversized ballparks, hotel rooms, and personalities, but also the self-doubt, loneliness, and despair. I laughed, I cried, I even learned how to doctor a baseball."
--Jonah Keri, author of The Extra 2%
"Out of My League is no mere sequel to The Bullpen Gospels. Yes, Hayhurst continues to chronicle his journey through the good, bad, absurd, mundane and often harrowing world of professional baseball, and yes his excellent writing continues to be hilarious, touching, illuminating and poignant. But this is more than a baseball book. It's the second -- and hopefully not the last -- chapter of a larger story of a man learning that it's possible to grip a baseball without it gripping him."
--Craig Calcaterra, NBC Sports.com
"Dirk Hayhurst manages to bring an outsider's point of view to the baseball world, even while reaching the major leagues for the first time. It's never too inside baseball, even though it is literally from inside baseball."
--John Manuel, Editor, Baseball America
"Hayhurst has done it again. I was blown away by every page, every chapter, every twist, every turn. I kept thinking that if I could only pitch as well as Dirk can write, I might have more Cy Youngs than Greg Maddux."
--Jayson Stark, ESPN.com
"Once again, Hayhurst delivers an entertaining story for more than just sports fans. Baseball provides the backdrop, but this is about life, relationships and the sacrifices made to pursue a dream. Hayhurst's unique storytelling style makes for another memorable read."
--Jordan Bastian, MLB.com
"In Dirk Hayhurst's funny, earthy, touching new book, he finally makes it to a big-league mound. As a writer, he's been throwing strikes in the Show for a while now, and "Out of My League" is another quality start."
--King Kaufman, Bleacher Report
"The most candid portrayal of life as a professional athlete I've ever seen. Out of My League is a must for anyone who has dreamed of making the Major Leagues and has wondered what they missed."
--Michael Dolan, Editor-in-Chief, Athletes Quarterly
"Hayhurst isn't afraid to tell it like it is. He has a genuine gift for telling the stories of his life in such a way that they reveal profound truths. I find his writing both entertaining and thought provoking... unlike his fastball."
--Ben Zobrist, Tampa Bay Rays All-Star
"By the time you finish OUT OF MY LEAGUE -- which is so compulsively readable and enjoyable that it could be the same day you start - you'll feel like you've just sat with an old pal who clawed his way into the bigs and couldn't wait to tell you everything about the experience. Apparently it's not enough for him to be a major league pitcher; Dirk has to be a fantastic writer, too. This is because God is cruel and unfair. You, however, are lucky: you get to read OUT OF MY LEAGUE."
--Matt Fraction, Marvel Comics
"After many minutes, hours, days, weeks, months and years spent in the bullpen, I can verify that this is a true picture of baseball.”
—Tim McCarver
“One of the funniest baseball books since Jim Bouton reinvented the player diary by being honest in Ball Four…Hayhurst does a wonderful job of capturing the contradictory essence of life in the minors, of apprentice heroes struggling on a burrito budget, thrown together and whirled apart by an impersonal business that eats its young..”
—Jeff Nueman, Clear Channel Sports
“Bull Durham meets Ball Four in Dirk Hayhurst’s hilarious and moving account of life in baseball’s glamor-free bush leagues.”
—Rob Neyer, SB Nation
“Everyone he describes you can say I played with someone just like that.Any pro baseball player can relate to his stories, but for anyone who enjoys baseball, it’s a good read too.”
—Daniel Bard, Pitcher for the Boston Red Sox
“This is the long-awaited, much-needed minor-league equivalent of Ball Four. It’s eloquent. It’s insightful. It’s poignant. It’s hilarious. Sometimes all in the same paragraph. I loved it. All of it.”
—Jayson Stark, ESPN.com
“After THE BULLPEN GOSPELS, people will know exactly who Hayhurst is and they should see ballplayers as more than just numbers on the backs of jerseys. Much like Hayhurst and others who spend careers fighting labels, it is too simple to call this a baseball book. It is so much more. It is a book about life, with baseball as the backdrop….Hayhurst has written a big-time book. That much is clear.”
—Jordan Bastian, MLB.com
“A highly compelling and great read…Hayhurst takes you on bus rides, in the clubhouse, and, of course, in the bullpen with in-depth descriptions and terrifically written passages.”
—Ian Browne, MLB.com.
“Dirk Hayhurst has written a fascinating, funny and honest account on life in the minor leagues. I loved it. Writers can’t play baseball, but in this case, a player sure can write.”
—Tim Kurkjian, Senior Writer, ESPN The Magazine, analyst/reporter ESPN television
Bullpen Gospels is a rollicking good bus ride of a book.Hayhurst illuminates a baseball life not only with wit and humor, but also with thought-provoking introspection.
—Tom Verducci, Sports Illustrated.
“Baseball is a game governed by countless rules, none bigger than this one: Don’t over think it. Dirk Hayhurst takes us down the rabbit hole that is his mind, to a place where that rule is constantly violated, every decision, every move, every breath over thought. In the process, he provides a brutally honest take on life in the majors–the oversized ballparks, hotel rooms, and personalities, but also the self-doubt, loneliness, and despair. I laughed, I cried, I even learned how to doctor a baseball.”
—Jonah Keri, Author of The Extra 2%
“One is torn about wanting Hayhurst’s baseball career to continue versus his writing career. It would be great to have both.”
—Joe Gross, Austin American Statesman
"…The Bullpen Gospels is a damn good book, and in it Hayhurst acts as a unique prism (a literate ballplayer!?!?) through which the inglorious life of minor league ball is reflected. It’s a thoughtful, funny, touching memoir … The Bullpen Gospels is an enjoyable, interesting read that will give you a new kind of appreciation for the many, many under-appreciated who make the game we love what it is. Yet at the same time, it will have you questioning the deification of the uniform—which, after all, is worn by men just like you and I (uh… unless you’re a woman)—and consistently laughing along the way .
—Drunk Jays Fans.com
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The author, Dirk Hayhurst, is part of the Animal House atmosphere that pervades any male college or pro locker room in any sport, but he's a bit uncomfortable with it and a bit aloof. You get the feeling that he does a lot of watching and a lot of quietly returning to his hotel room or apartment, while the guys go out and party. And you get the feeling that the guys think he's okay, but none of them really consider him a good friend. (It's how I've aleays felt when I've been thrown into locker room situations.)
First, the raunchy. It's mild by baseball tell-all standards, but there's all sorts of things about players farting in each other's faces, talking about how big their "packages" are, etc. Hayhurst does a good job of showing how humor pervades the clubhouse and brings together guys from different backgrounds and cultures --- and guys who are, ultimately, competing against each other for the attention of the major league general manager.
Then, the poignant. Early in the book, after a couple of chapters about the silliness of spring training speeches, Hayhurst gives a glimpse at why he's sticking it out in Class A minors after four years of not doing very well. First, there's black humor about living with his crotchetly grandmother, who makes him sleep on a plastic-covered mattress in a junk-filled room and tells him "Go to hell" whenever he suggests that she actually throw out some junk. The next chapter describes his family, which can only be called hellish: A father who's fallen into depression due to a accident 20 years ago that left him mostly incapacitated; a drunk brother who beat up Hayhurst repeatedly throughout their teen years; and a mom burned out by caring for the two deadbeats. The trio of losers lives on welfare, and Hayhurst visits them as rarely as possible, as all he gets from them is anger and indifference that he has actually tried to make something of himself.
Then, the wholesome. Hayhurst is a rules follower, which makes him an anomaly in baseball circles (and in his own family culture). He is a meek guy. He doesn't drink, and he's a virgin late into his 20s. This comes out about midway through the book, as he gives a glimpse into his hope for a pristine life without alcohol-fueled violence and with a lovely, caring wife. As the book chronicles a season in which he had his most significant success in the minors and moves up to AA for a team that wins a championship, he gets into the wholesome, cliched baseball writing that went out of style in about 1960's kids' books. Needless to say, I didn't like the part about "the team came together ... one for all, all for one," etc. But those are likely to be genuine feelings, so you can't argue with it.
The book ends on an even more upbeat note. I won't spoil it.
Hayhurst does his best to take a lot of the romance out of the life of a baseball player, and you'll never ask for an autograph or a free ball after you read this. On the other hand, Hayhurst admires the great San Diego closer Trevor Hoffman, who becomes a model for handling oneself with dignity and perspective while achieving great on-field success.
Like any professional struggling for success, Hayhurst at times hates his calling and resents its demands. He fears failure, and that fear has a vicious way of turning into a self-fulfilling prophecy of failure. Hayhurst also has some poignant things to say about alcoholism, and the book is excellent and moving in this respect.
Much of the book is very funny and reads a bit like Ball Four.
In the end, Hayhurst learns to embrace his profession and to conquer his fear of failure. He also, more importantly, learns to put some balance in his life.
This is very unusual baseball memoir, and the author succeeds in connecting emotionally with his reader. I highly recommend it, even to the non-fan.
Moreover, Hayhurst's approach can be described as being disarmingly conversational; exposing the reader to the enjoyable side of baseball, but also to his inner most fears. For example, Hayhurst described his situation as being one where “all I could think about was how bad things could go, even worse than they were. It was as if baseball’s Grim Reaper was watching every time I took the mound. From the way he looked at me, I knew he couldn’t wait to reach out and snatch my baseball career” (p. 2). This illustrates Hayhurst’s method of writing, uniquely addicting. The style makes this book a must-read. Along with that, Dirk does not chop his stories up and spread them around the book. Everything flows and I was never bored. He writes in such a manner that makes you feel like you are in the room with him. His approach pulls you in, his stories are invigorating, and the result comes as being a major league all- star read.
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Barry Francis





