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The Bully, the Bullied, and the Bystander: From Preschool to HighSchool--How Parents and Teachers Can Help Break the Cycle (Updated Edition) Paperback – May 12, 2009
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From Publishers Weekly
This is an extremely helpful book that both parents and teachers can use to deal with bullying, an aspect of school that the author feels "is a life-and-death issue that we ignore at our children's peril." Staring with a bottom-line assumption that "bullying is a learned behavior," Coloroso (Parenting Through Crisis) wonderfully explains not only the ways that the bully, the bullied and the bystander are "three characters in a tragic play" but also how "the scripts can be rewritten, new roles created, the plot changed." For each of the three "characters," she breaks down the behavior that defines each role, analyzes the specific ways that each character can have their behaviors changed for the better, and suggests a range of methods that parents and educators can use to identify bullying behavior and deal with it effectively. The book also provides excellent insights into behaviors related to but not always recognized as bullying, such as cliques, hazing, taunting and sexual bullying. And while there have been numerous books about bullies, this volume is perhaps best for its sections on the "bystander," the person whose behavior is too often overlooked or excused. Coloroso's emphasis on aikido-related defensive skills do not sufficiently address the issue of what a child is to do when physical force is necessary to stop a bully, but overall this is an important look at the ways that bullied children can affirm their dignity and self-worth.
Copyright 2002 Reed Business Information, Inc. --This text refers to an out of print or unavailable edition of this title.
“An extremely helpful book that both parents and teachers can use to deal with bullying.” (Publishers Weekly)
An important look at the ways that bullied children can affirm their dignity and self-worth (Publishers Weekly)
“If you are a parent or teacher, you should read this book. (Education Today)
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This book was very eye-opening for me on the damage that is done to the bystander who does nothing to help the victim. Often the victim gets over the physical hurt before the bystander ever loses the emotional trauma. This gives excellent ways to strengthen your kids and help build a more respectful world.
Recently, a woman in her 80's shared that she still felt guilty for not stepping forward when classmates teased and bullied a child in the fourth grade.
The basis for a balanced life is being kind, thoughtful and having respect for all.
Judy Helm Wright aka Auntie Artichoke, author of Out of Balance?: Be a Bounce Back Person