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But He Never Hit Me: The Devastating Cost of Non-Physical Abuse to Girls and Women 0th Edition

4.4 out of 5 stars 18 customer reviews
ISBN-13: 978-0595411399
ISBN-10: 0595411398
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  • But He Never Hit Me: The Devastating Cost of Non-Physical Abuse to Girls and Women
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Editorial Reviews

About the Author

Dr. Jill A. Murray is internationally regarded as theleading expert in the fields of teen dating abuse andunhealthy relationships. A highly visible guest in thetelevision, radio, and print mediums, she maintains aprivate psychotherapy practice in Southern Californiawhere she lives with her husband, Frank.
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Product Details

  • Paperback: 346 pages
  • Publisher: iUniverse, Inc. (February 25, 2007)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 0595411398
  • ISBN-13: 978-0595411399
  • Product Dimensions: 6 x 0.9 x 9 inches
  • Shipping Weight: 1.1 pounds (View shipping rates and policies)
  • Average Customer Review: 4.4 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (18 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #152,471 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

Customer Reviews

Top Customer Reviews

Format: Paperback
I believe the information in this book literally saved my life. I was miserable in my marriage, thinking everything was my fault. It wasn't until my (now) ex left me that I found this book. I began reading it and had such a visceral reaction, I couldn't get through the first chapter.

A few weeks later, I picked it up again and after forcing myself in fits and starts through the first two chapters, I finally had words for what I had been living for almost five years.

By reading and applying the things I learned from this book, I not only was able to get myself out of a slowly escalating abusive relationship, I was given a fire to do everything I can to prevent anyone in my life from submitting to this abuse . . . man or woman.

I recommend this book to anyone.
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Because my field is rape, sexual assault and domestic violence I knew this book would contain much help information. What I was not expecting was how much of this book I could relate to personally. I highly recommend this book for EVERY woman who has ever even thought of that phrase. Wake up ladies, it applies to most of us!
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Having been through a verbally/emotionally abussive relationship, this book was right on. To read stories from the author and other women was a real eye-opener, makes you think alot. Very informational on the right way to move forward in all situations. I highly recommend this book for anyone who is or was in an abusive relationship, or if you know a woman in an abusive relationship, this book will help you understand what she is going through and why. Wish every female that was a part of my life while I was going through this experience would read this book to better understand all aspects of that part of my life.
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Format: Paperback
This book if great for anyone in a relationship, it helps with boundaries and expectations that you should have for each other. Great section on Universal truths about relationships, major one being: love is a behavior. Check it out, very helpful resource and workbook
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Actually I wavered between 1 star ("I hate it") and the 2 I gave it. There is some very good information here...between all her own neurotic crap. Most of the "good" info she provides you can get elsewhere. I'm thinking that she's writing this book for MUCH younger women/girls - and I am WAY past that. :) She goes back and forth between telling you can't change anyone/thing, and telling you how powerful you are - meaning you can change yourself, but she isn't 'always' clear on her intention. So I do understand her point, but only because I have been reading and studying this for a very long time. She is also very 'manipulative' in her writing style. Like: I'm not telling you what to do, but you're stupid if you don't do what I say - is often the attitude in this book. AND - I don't like her writing style, with comments like, "Let me tell you girlfriend...", or calling me (the reader) "my dear". VERY creepy and condescending, and not friendly like she intends, and definitely not professional.

There are two EXCELLENT books out there that I would highly recommend to anyone of any age - that are truly enlightening and empowering and written in a professional yet friendly style w/o being creepy. One is "Why Does He Do That?", by L. Bancroft; and the other is In "Sheep's Clothing", by G. Simon. These are by far the two best books on the market. I should get a commission from these guys, b/c I promote these books whenever I can....they were life shifting for me!

Whatever valuable info I'm getting from J. Murray's book - I've seen elsewhere and better written. Plus, the book is WAY over priced for its value. She's got a lot of baggage she brings into her book. I would not recommend it, except maybe for a very young woman, in a "physically" abusive relationship (which is not the theme of this book) that won't listen to anyone else.
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This book is a very useful tool for me. I got out of an abusive situation and got this book as a resource to try to help other abuse victims. It was helpful for that, but also surprised me by how much it helped me with lingering problems and confusions. I highly recommend this book for Christians, even though it is not specifically geared in that direction, still immensely helpful!
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I can not say enough about this book, or the author. My words could not bring it the worth it truly is entitled. Every women needs to read this book, and give their daughters a copy. I appreciated everything about this book, it's truth wisdom, insights, and knowledge. Thank you Jill Murray your book But He Never Hit Me embraces an individual life, and renews life again.
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This book is excellent. It has great information on how to identify an abusive relationship, how to cope with it, and practical tips on how to get out. However, I wish that the author would update this book with a new edition giving information on electronic stalking. Stalking and electronic stalking are becoming more common so information about how to protect oneself would make this book even better. Please be careful when ordering this book if you are in an abusive relationship--getting a friend to get it for you might be a good idea. Also, the author recommends using a journal. The journalling process is very helpful. However, she does not include an important cautionary note and that is to be careful with this journal. Be sure to hide it -- and perhaps this book -- maybe even keep them at a friend or relative's house. And only write in your journal when he isn't around. I think this was a huge oversight on the part of the author. Other than that, its great.
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