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To Buy or Not to Buy: Why We Overshop and How to Stop Paperback – December 30, 2008
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“An extremely helpful book. Dr. Benson provides a practical, step-by-step method for recognizing, controlling, and finally stopping a shopping problem. I recommend it without hesitation.”—Lorrin Koran, MD, Stanford University Medical Center
“If you are a compulsive or chronic shopper—as millions are—this book may well save your sanity, your relationships, your marriage, or even your life.”—Jerold Mundis, author of How to Get Out of Debt, Stay Out of Debt, and Live Prosperously
“This book instructs wisely about the problem of compulsive buying and how it might be reasonably overcome.”—New England Psychologist
About the Author
Top Customer Reviews
This is not a comfortable book for me to read. I find my behavior unmasked and as undeniable as my shoulder-length gray hair. Have I used shopping to feel better about myself? Yes. Have I used shopping to avoid confronting a situation I want to avoid? Yes. Have I used shopping as a weapon to express anger? Yes.
Sometimes yes to all of the above, and other questions in chapter one. Like a trip to the dentist, confronting my negative behavior and the psychology behind it can be painful, but also healing. I love this book, because there is healing in getting the rot out. Dr. Benson offers a way to find authentic happiness to replace the false esteem of keeping up with (or exceeding) the 'Joneses'. She points out the relentless consumerism driving our economy, with tentacles invading our conciousness through stores, malls, television, catalogs, Internet and even cell phone shopping. She uncovers the true cost of credit card purchases, and documents the ways invisible forces demand that we buy "more more more and now now now".
Knowledge is power. Self-knowledge is the power to change. To Buy or Not to Buy is a tool that can enable us to get free of our compulsive shopping. If you are confident that you don't have any shopping addictions, I challenge you to go to browse inside her book - consider the many ways we can fool ourselves into buying things to fill an emotional hole rather than a material need.
I recognized some of my buying patterns in her analysis, and also patterns of friends and relatives.Read more ›
In the book, Benson encourages the shopper to enlist the support of a "Shopping Support Buddy", the requirements for which are outlined in great detail, but who is essentially an advocate for the individual working their way through the program. I am serving as my client's advocate and her accountability partner in her journey through the book.
Here are what I feel to be the highlights of the program:
In the first part of the book the reader explores what they are shopping for and why and documents their explorations in a companion journal. The journaling and exercises in these early chapters have proven very powerful for my client and she has a experienced a significant number of "ah-ha" moments.
In Chapter Two, Dr. Benson provides a wonderful acknowledgement to the reader for getting this far and then encourages the reader to explore whether or not this journey is really worth the effort. So many self help books assume you're "all in" right from the beginning. Dr. Benson wants to keep checking in with you. This is demonstrated again in the section "To Stop or Not to Stop", which explores ambivalence around stopping shopping.Read more ›
Most Recent Customer Reviews
This book was just amazing. It gave me so many tools to finally overcome this crazy shopping addiction. I highly recommend!Published 2 months ago by Le Magicien.
Amazing book that has saved my life. This is a mental illness that is finally taken seriously.Published 4 months ago by Alison
Extremely useful, especially the well- thought- out exercises in the book, as well as the support that can be found on the website noted in the book. Read morePublished 4 months ago by Constant Reader
If you have a shopping problem, like an over the top issue with buying whatever just because you're bored or looking for something to do, this is the book for you. Read morePublished 8 months ago by Annie 2
Very good book for a shopaholic. Great journal work and Seroiously well written. Very insightful.Published 9 months ago by Amazon Customer
Of the several books on the subject that I reviewed, this one presented the difficult, sensitive topic of excessive shopping in the least threatening, most readable manner. Read morePublished 10 months ago by MMM
A very helpful book. The best that I have seen on the subject.Published 12 months ago by Dr. Merika