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Cad: Confessions of a Toxic Bachelor Paperback – February 18, 2004

by Rick Marin (Author)

48 customer reviews

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The Los Angeles Times bestseller, now in paperback--tales of the notorious New York dating scene, told from the other side of the bed.

Rick Marin offers himself up for an in-depth look at man's superficial nature. At 28, a brief, doomed first marriage thrusts Marin back into Bachelor Hell. A journalist as eager to make it in Manhattan as with its female population, our emotionally myopic hero can never seem to tell if the woman in front of him is too crazy or too sane, until she gets too close. Falling out of love as often as he falls in, he vows more than once to clean up his act, only to relapse into another bender of beauties, blow-offs, and bad behavior--all in desperate pursuit of the woman who can redeem him.

In this rollicking, frequently insensitive and ultimately poignant memoir, Marin proves a master of the light touch even in his darkest hours. It is one man's story, but many men will read it as their own. And for any woman who has ever wondered, "What was he thinking?" This is what he was thinking.

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Editorial Reviews

Review

"The shocking truth about what some men really think about women. Read it if you dare."

"99 per cent of men give all the rest a bad name. Thanks to Cad, women now have the wisdom to know the difference. Is Rick Marin a cad? Hell, he wrote the book."

"Very funny, often desperately funny, and as sure-footed about the Manhattan dating/mating scene as antyhing I've read. A real achievement."

"Hilarious and surprisingly heartfelt, this is a book every woman should read and then share with the man in her life -- or, at the very least, throw at his head."

About the Author

Rick Marin has been a reporter at the New York Times Sunday Styles section, a senior writer at Newsweek, and secretly wrote an advice column on men for a major women's magazine. He lives in New York City and Sag Harbor.

Product details

Paperback: 304 pages
Publisher: Hachette Books; Reprint edition (February 18, 2004)
Language: English
ISBN-10: 0786887672
ISBN-13: 978-0786887675
Product Dimensions: 5.2 x 8 inches
Shipping Weight: 6.4 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
Average Customer Review: 48 customer reviews
Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #3,955,369 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)
- #5570 in Books > Biographies & Memoirs > Professionals & Academics > Journalists
- #15376 in Books > Self-Help > Relationships > Love & Romance
- #95055 in Books > Biographies & Memoirs > Memoirs

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48 customer reviews

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Heather A. Teysko

Oh, the painful memories of dating life in NYC...

February 1, 2006

Format: PaperbackVerified Purchase

Rick Marin writes 300 pages about his single life after the end of his youthful marriage to a girl who married him so he could stay in the country and get his green card.

This consisted of dating many women in succession - I certainly don't blame him for that - but where he does become a cad is where he lies to a girl who is happy to have an "arrangement" with him as long as neither are seieng other people. Hey, I don't totally blame him for that, either; he was pretty honest in saying that he wasn't looking for a "future" with her, and she stayed in the game, but it's just an example of his "caddiness".

I guess this is a typical memoir of dating life in NYC - so many beautiful single people squashed on a little island makes for a toxic dating scene, I think, but hey, I live in the anti-ny, so I'm biased.

It didn't really stick out at me as anything of superior quality - it read like chick-lit, but from a male perspective. So instead of a local coffeehouse, he hangs out at a topless bar. He has all the same career/friend/family adventures, though. Nothing really original. Different gender, same problems... not a bad way to spend a few hours...

5 people found this helpful6 people found this helpful

Entertaining, but not 'literature'

May 20, 2003

Format: HardcoverVerified Purchase

Coming out of an early marriage to a somewhat lost young woman, Rick Marin decides to embrace a "love 'em and leave 'em" single life. Readers who enjoy "Bridget Jones" type books or Cosmopolitan magazine will enjoy this male perspective on the NYC dating scene.
For much of the book, the writer works freelance, including writing articles for fashion and beauty magazines such as Allure and Mademoiselle. Although his work may address things naive women can do when 'he' doesn't call, the writer is more cavalier in his own life--he doesn't call because he never had any intention of calling you and doesn't care. Many of the female characters in the book are self involved, insecure, or just flighty, offering some amusement in the cavalier treatment they receive from the cad. The vulnerability of some of these women sheds some unflattering light on the writer at times.
Consistent with other stories of this genre, the writer grows into an adult during the course of the book. Treatment of a family tragedy is conveyed well and with empathy, without being overly sentimental. However, the final pieces where the writer finds true love aren't consistent with the rest of the novel and feel like they don't quite fit.
Overall, a novel with some literary pretensions that manages to entertain most of the time.

4 people found this helpful5 people found this helpful

Greatest Book of all Time

March 11, 2003

Format: HardcoverVerified Purchase

I devoured this book like a bag of Viagra-laced gummi bears. Mmm-mmm good! Yes Rick is pompous, insensitive, surrounded by lame "friends", and ridiculously unappealing in his back flap photo - but hooray for the smirking, macho honesty! Chicks need to know what most guys are like - they're like Rick! Check it schizzz-out!!

One person found this helpful2 people found this helpful

July 17, 2005

Format: Hardcover

If you really want to read a book by an obnoxious, arrogant (bordering on delusional) and unattractive man, I suggest you pick up a copy of How to Lose Friends and Alienate People. Its author, Toby Young, shares all those characteristics with Rick Marin, but he also has a sense of humor, which makes How to... a hilarious book, well worth-reading. Cad, on the other hand, is just terrible.

20 people found this helpful21 people found this helpful

Martian Bachelor

I couldn't get half way through it...

May 20, 2003

Format: Hardcover

I really despise books which bear little relation to their title, and this is a pretty prime example. The cover wording was evidently made up by someone who'd fondled one too many copies of Cosmo. It's entirely misleading regarding what's inside.
First, the author is no cad. (I know because I am one and he's never at the meetings...) In fact, Marin is from a pretty decent Toronto family/neighborhood, got a first job at Harper's after journalism grad school, and did other respectable and semi-adult things (like try to make money) after. Not typical cad territory, I'm betting. What seems to qualify him as a cad is that he occasionally dates women, maybe sleeps with them, and then doesn't marry them. Also, that he keeps some sort of diary (i.e., secret un-PC notes). Whoo-wee, call out the Terminator!
Second, Marin is no bachelor -- if you take a bachelor to be a never-married male above a certain age. He's divorced. And the whole first part of the book has insufferable and totally uninteresting details about his wife, how they met and fell in love, their typical break-up, ladeedadeeda... And even if you give him some leeway because they didn't have any kids in their approx. four years together, he's not even (or much over) thirty; ya gotta be over 35 (40's better) to really qualify as a bachelor. (Quick, someone contact ABC!) I think the cover writer just thought "toxic bachelor" sounded hip and disparaging of males in the way now deemed to be socially acceptable in some unenlightened circles populated by bigots -- much like "testosterone poisoning" was a few years ago. Ok, so she probably took one too many Feminist Studies classes in college learned to hate men. Insightful the term is not. Marin actually comes across as a pretty nice and decent guy with more or less typical dating woes. Which makes for really boring reading.
Third, the only part of what you see on the cover that might vaguely be accurate is the "confessions" part, since the material *is* autobiographical. But it's not like these pages were beaten out of him under a bare bulb after hours of duress and torture. At times he almost sounds like he's boasting a little. (Cads always do that.) I guess the idea is to make women think they're being given the inside scoop on the psyche of the elusive single male, which they're not -- at least not to any great degree IMO. The term "confessions" suggests the material should at least be unusual and maybe even interesting, but this is not.
The plethora of virtually meaningless detail (one of the common hazards of keeping a diary), the lack of much if anything new in the way of perspective, and the author's tendency to try too hard at sounding pithy and clever -- all this made it difficult to get more than about 120 pages into this thing before seeing the writing on the wall and giving up. And I really don't care how it turned out or even why he was writing it all down a decade later.

5 people found this helpful6 people found this helpful

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