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Calling in "The One": 7 Weeks to Attract the Love of Your Life Paperback – February 10, 2004
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From Publishers Weekly
Psychotherapist Thomas's warm-hearted "course" for the lovelorn focuses on internal change rather than a quest for "the One," because, she says, "There is a huge chasm between wanting to find your ideal partner and being truly available... when he or she appears." Each of the seven weeks centers on a theme, including preparing to let love into one's life, letting go of childhood wounds and loving oneself. Thomas reinforces her lessons with standard self-help techniques, particularly meditation and journaling. Her feel-good-about-yourself message gets much of its thrust from a Christian perspective, though a healthy dose of Buddhism and Eastern religious traditions spices things up. Atheists should be able to navigate the course as effectively as believers, she says, though her many references to God's role in realizing one's romantic goals may disprove this. But Julia Cameron's The Artist's Way (to which this bears a resemblance in format) helped countless struggling artists, and this volume may do the same for the lonely. Certainly meditation, discipline and self-acceptance are noble pursuits whether or not "the One" comes knocking, and Thomas's belief that love will find you once you find love is so unswerving that it's almost impossible not to be convinced.
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"A wonderful book for all those seeking to bring a deep and magical love into their lives." -- Marianne Williamson
"For those prepared to call a great love into their lives, this wise guide's 'The One' to read." -- Debbie Ford
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Top customer reviews
I followed the entire program--all the exercises, all the journaling, all the silly projects. I honestly believe part of the magic of this book comes from the ability to suspend your beliefs and skepticism and try things that you'd normally flat-out reject as too outlandish or stupid to try.
The beauty of this book is while it purports to be about bringing the right person to you, the author really has you calling in yourself. That work -- at least for me -- started to shift things in my life. It became clear that I was telling people I was fine on my own, while privately scanning my surroundings hoping to find a mate.
Long story short, I finished the program and, as per the last assignment, wrote a list of all the qualities I was looking for in a partner. Seven weeks earlier my list would have been very different, but because I had done so much work on myself, I could see that I was more open to a different kind of love. I put the list aside and went about my life.
The author spends a lot of time talking about how our words are a creative force. Once we say something out loud the universe shifts and bends to help make it happen. To me this was a cute nice idea, but kind of nutty. But several months later, I finally admitted to a friend that I was lonely, really truly lonely, and that I really wanted someone in my life. For me this was huge. I never let on that this was the case -- even if people suspected as much -- I always kept up the facade that I was perfectly fine on my own.
Wouldn't you know it, the next day I met my future husband. It's one of those things that is just too crazy to believe, and it took me a while to put two and two together. After dating for several months, I remembered the list I had made and pulled it out to see what it said. He met every single quality I wrote down, and and as the author reminded us, he looked nothing like I imagined.
So there you go. Two years later we're getting married, and I've never in a happier or healthier relationship. Most people I recommend this book to can't get past the silly exercises, but I think if you make it through with an open mind you'll be rewarded. I'm grateful for this book and grateful the author wrote it. Yes it's a big dose of woo-woo, but what's the harm in suspending your beliefs for seven weeks? I'm happy I did.
Despite the deceptively cheesy title- this book is surprisingly chock full of wisdom. There are wonderful quotes from iconic writers, spiritual teachers and psychologists sprinkled throughout each chapter. As it says in the book, when you start implementing the ways of thinking in this book, things do start to happen- you might ,however, miss the mark the first time around (As it happened for me- 2 years ago but was blindsided shortly after-) so I will start reading the book over again and not get discouraged. I still had a lot more growing to do and self-love to realize, and perhaps did not read the book as thoroughly as suggested. Using this guidebook as a tool, it did help me call someone into my life (like it promises-) but definitely wasn't "the one" which is okay, it means you're on the right track, you just have some more work to do- I'm not going to give up and neither should you. I would suggest read it over and over again until things start to "click" for you, it may take longer for some (like me) than others. I do feel a book like this is a valuable guide (especially if you're someone who is "scattered" with so many projects and a million different things & ideas on your mind often!) this book will help you focus on how you need to develop and think in order to call in someone you would consider a kindred spirit, or "Soulmate". It is a tool- it doesn't have all the answers- but is very helpful if you can implement the philosophy, spirituality and focused guidance it offers. With any self-help book, it's up to the reader to implement the book as a tool on the journey.