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Jean Kilbourne

Can't Buy My Love: How Advertising Changes the Way We Think and Feel Paperback – November 2, 2000

by Jean Kilbourne (Author), Mary Pipher (Foreword)

4.4 107 ratings

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Many advertisements these days make us feel as if we have an intimate, even passionate relationship with a product. But as Jean Kilbourne points out in this fascinating and shocking exposé, the dreamlike promise of advertising always leaves us hungry for more. We can never be satisfied, because the products we love cannot love us back.

“When was the last time you felt this comfortable in a relationship?” —An ad for sneakers

“You can love it without getting your heart broken.” —An ad for a car

“Until I find a real man, I'll settle for a real smoke.” —A woman in a cigarette ad

Many advertisements these days make us feel as if we have an intimate, even passionate relationship with a product. But as Jean Kilbourne points out in this fascinating and shocking exposé, the dreamlike promise of advertising always leaves us hungry for more. We can never be satisfied, because the products we love cannot love us back.

Drawing upon her knowledge of psychology, media, and women's issues, Kilbourne offers nothing less than a new understanding of a ubiquitous phenomenon in our culture. The average American is exposed to over 3,000 advertisements a day and watches three years' worth of television ads over the course of a lifetime. Kilbourne paints a gripping portrait of how this barrage of advertising drastically affects young people, especially girls, by offering false promises of rebellion, connection, and control. She also offers a surprising analysis of the way advertising creates and then feeds an addictive mentality that often continues throughout adulthood.

Print length

368 pages
Language

English
Publication date

November 2, 2000
Dimensions

6.13 x 0.92 x 9.25 inches
ISBN-10

0684866005
ISBN-13

978-0684866000
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Editorial Reviews

Review

Susan Faludi author of Backlash Jean Kilbourne's work is pioneering and crucial to the dialogue of one of the most underexplored, yet most powerful, realms of American culture: advertising. We owe her a great debt.

Self magazine Backlash meets The Beauty Myth....a scathing attack on the powers that tell us what, how much, when and why to buy.

About the Author

Jean Kilbourne,Ed.D, is internationally recognized for her pioneering work on alcohol and tobacco advertising and the image of women in advertising. A widely published writer and speaker who has twice been named Lecturer of the Year by the National Association for Campus Activities, she is best known for her award-winning documentaries, Killing Us Softly, Slim Hopes, and Pack of Lies. She lives in Boston, Massachusetts.

Product details

Publisher ‏ : ‎ Free Press; 59010th edition (November 2, 2000)
Language ‏ : ‎ English
Paperback ‏ : ‎ 368 pages
ISBN-10 ‏ : ‎ 0684866005
ISBN-13 ‏ : ‎ 978-0684866000
Item Weight ‏ : ‎ 1.05 pounds
Dimensions ‏ : ‎ 6.13 x 0.92 x 9.25 inches

Best Sellers Rank: #1,139,601 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)
- #505 in Market Research Business (Books)
- #1,412 in Advertising (Books)
- #3,919 in Communication & Media Studies

Customer Reviews:
4.4 107 ratings

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Lauren R.

Good content but not the neutral standpoint I was hoping for

Reviewed in the United States 🇺🇸 on January 23, 2016

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Overall, I enjoyed this book. It is very research-heavy and includes many examples of advertising taglines and campaigns and a good deal of black and white advertisement examples inserted on the pages. The author, while knowing much about her subject and putting much effort into her research, isn't the best of writers. For example, adjectives weren't very varied and with the exception of some especially profound statements, someone that hadn't made writing a part of their career could've easily written in the same way. Perhaps I didn't look closely enough, but by ordering this book I was hoping for a fairly neutral analyzing of the way advertising does indeed change how we think and feel but I must have mistook the title as being somehow admirable and interested about the power of advertising rather than against the power of advertising. This book, while not definitively arguing for a society without advertising, ends up urging for a future world in which advertising is massively censored and regulated which personally, I don't particularly agree with. It certainly feels throughout the book the author is painting the corporations and their marketing campaigns as inherently evil. Politically, I have grown up moderately conservative and capitalist-minded (I'm 17), so while reading this book I was rather skeptical about how the author seemed to depict the corporations but I must admit that I have become more mindful of their efforts, less willfully "drawn-into" advertising after reading this book, although I still by no means think capitalism is evil. (Of course, the author does not explicitly say that capitalism itself is at the root of the problem, but she does posit that capitalism without a good deal of government regulation is at the root of many of our problems). Indeed, this is a somewhat biased book skewing more towards liberalism and accusing the free market rather than venerating it as one would likely do if they were conservatively-minded. That said, many of the claims the author presents are undoubtfully true. For example, the claim that advertisers want addicts to stay addicted (whether it be drugs, alcohol, food, shopping etc.) is obviously good for their profits and it goes without saying that advertisers are aware of this and mindful of it in their campaigns. Despite being a little annoyed with the biased, quick-to-attack nature of this book I realized by the end that some of it was really true and backed by facts and I became a great deal more aware of how the advertising climate encourages us to perpetuate sometimes unhealthy behaviors and become detrimentally attached to products, among other things. I applaud people like Jean Kilbourne for bringing some of these things to light, because we know advertising is persuasive but we often think of it as too fleeting to make that big of an impact, we recognize it can be cheeky and humorous at times, but we forget what it might be entrenching in us. If you choose to read this book, try not to become fearful of advertising, but simply more skeptical and aware of it in your daily life. In addition, I thought to mention that some of the topics in this book are a little outdated, predictably enough, it was written in 2000. For example, there is a lot of mention of cigarette addiction but, as we know, in 2016 smoking is neither popular nor that cool anymore. And anyway, advertising has changed a lot since then, especially in the digital realm.

8 people found this helpful

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Preston C. Enright

Also see the DVD with Jean Kilbourne

Reviewed in the United States 🇺🇸 on August 6, 2006

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This book's ideas need to reach more people. It seems we're inundated with stories of child molesters, drug pushers, and other threats to us and our children; but the 200 billion dollars spent by the junk food makers, pharmaceutical pushers, military recruiters and others to colonize the hearts and minds of our kids is often overlooked. Sadly, many of those who are learning to look critically at the commercial media are often more privileged economically. Maybe we can find ways to reach out to other sectors of our society through letters to editors, calls to talk radio, writing on message boards and so forth. Also, there are additional resources that we can use to share perspectives to help protect people (kids and adults) from the psychological warfare of Big Business. I'd recommend DVDs like "Deadly Persuasion" from the Media Education Foundation, which is an expose of tobacco and alcohol advertising presented by Jean Kilbourne. There is also the award-winning film called "The Corporation" available from Amazon. Subscriptions to "Adbusters" and "New Moon" are also very helpful outreach tools.

3 people found this helpful

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Tootlz 28

Leave the bias at home

Reviewed in the United States 🇺🇸 on January 9, 2016

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This book suffers from the authors bias. And It may be fine if I felt she was correct in her thoughts. But I disagree with how she views the ads. Because of her bias, the book suffers. She reads way more into the ads than I think anyone else would and she has spoken with none of the advertising agencies to find out what concept they were going for. So we must accept her point of view. For example, there is an ad with a woman showing a LITTLE bit of cleavage, but the author says her breast are almost completely exposed? She mentions a man is threatening a woman when all we actually see is a hand holding a pack of smokes and a cigarette. Again, i was really fed up with this author and he unrealistic bias halfway through the book. I'm only going to finish it because it is required for a class I'm going to take. The book does hit the mark on some ads, and she does cover the tobacco industry's lies. I now understand how generations of smokers were suckered into smoking.

If not required, I'd pass on this book. The authors unfounded bias ruins the book.

One person found this helpful

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Debra Mollen

You'll never look at advertising the same way again

Reviewed in the United States 🇺🇸 on March 29, 2002

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Jean Kilbourne has a truly rare gift for finding purpose in and explicating insight into the thousands of ads that bombard us on a daily basis. It is fascinating to watch her meticulous, brilliant, even-handed exploration into the world of advertising. Her cogent remarks on the psychology of advertising bring a rare glimpse into previously unchartered waters. Having been a long-time fan of her films, it was also a distinct pleasure to read about her own personal and professional development in the first chapter as it was affected by the products advertisers insist we need to be fulfilled. Those interested in psychology, sociology, communication/cultural studies, and feminism should ensure this book is read and kept forefront on the bookshelf. It would be ideal as a college text as well.

11 people found this helpful

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Mary R Snyder

Fascinating and Frightening

Reviewed in the United States 🇺🇸 on January 10, 2002

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Jean Kilbourne does an excellent job of taking you through the mindfield of advertising. I was shocked to learn that America is one of the few countries to allow advertising directed at kids and after reading this book, I know why it is outlawed in most places. Throughout this well developed and researched book, I found myself shocked and stunned -- and that's not easy to do to me.
Everyone should take a look at this book. The insidious nature of advertising is made apparent and if you think you aren't impacted by advertising then you truly should read this book. Fascinating and frightening.

7 people found this helpful

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Top reviews from other countries

Angus Jenkinson

a well-informed attack on advertising practice

Reviewed in the United Kingdom 🇬🇧 on July 8, 2009

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the author has a very strong stance against the way advertisers go about influencing consumers. They certainly do set about doing this and have many smart techniques for doing so, so if you are starting off a little naive you might be amazed at what you discover and even if you are not you will learn a lot of detail through many examples. At the same time, it starts from a very strong values position that not everyone will agree with. She rightly makes the point that the entire media industry, and that includes all the blogs in the world, google and other search engines, depend for their continued existence on advertising revenue. Depending on your point of view you can either think that's terrible or wonderful. Kilbourne thinks it's terrible and explains why. It's interesting

4 people found this helpful

Alexandra BUCUR

Very interesting and well written

Reviewed in the United Kingdom 🇬🇧 on April 4, 2018

Verified Purchase

One of the best books on advertising. Easy written, everyone can understand it.

One person found this helpful

J

Brilliant book! Great delivery and good

Reviewed in the United Kingdom 🇬🇧 on June 22, 2016

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Brilliant book ! Great delivery and good quality

William Peynsaert

Shocking

Reviewed in Germany 🇩🇪 on January 2, 2014

Verified Purchase

We see so many commercials and advertisements and we simply don't think about them. The author heaps tons of terrible adds on top of the other and the result is an eye-opener: advertising wrecks the image we have of women, breeds misogynist tendencies without the viewer even realizing it. I wonder if the author is aware that the same is being done to men now, with all those adds reducing men to six-pack money making dandies.

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