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You Can't Make Me (But I Can Be Persuaded), Revised and Updated Edition: Strategies for Bringing Out the Best in Your Strong-Willed Child Paperback – September 18, 2012
After the Speech: When Teens Get Real
It's not just about dreams; it's about life. Inspiring stories from transparent hearts. Learn More
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“I love the practical strategies and valuable insights from the hearts and lives of strong-willed kids—including Cynthia herself! You’ll definitely want to make this book part of your parenting library.”
—Dr. Kevin Leman, New York Times best-selling author of Have a New Kid by Friday
“In You Can’t Make Me, Cynthia Tobias provides help and hope for all of us with a strong-willed child of any age. Her extremely practical and time-tested tips will show you how to provide the strong-willed child love balanced with limits, relationship balanced with rules, coaching balanced with cheerleading, and discipleship balanced with discipline. This book will be worth its weight in gold to you and your strong-willed child.”
—Walt Larimore, MD, best-selling author of God’s Design for the Highly Healthy Teen and Why A.D.H.D. Doesn’t Mean Disaster
“Parenting was never designed to be easy, and parenting a strong-willed child can be daunting. Cynthia Tobias has written a book designed to encourage parents to celebrate their children—yes, even if they are strong willed! I love how she has provided tried and true strategies that will bring out the best in our children. Her inclusion of stories from parents who are ‘in the trenches’ serves to remind us that successful parenting is possible for all of us. I love Cynthia’s wisdom, but her heart for children made me love this book!”
—Janet Parshall, nationally syndicated talk-show host
“At Focus on the Family, we often hear from parents who are frustrated and burned out by their strong-willed kids. Cynthia Tobias’s book is tailor-made for them. It will help moms and dads not only address the challenges but also embrace the blessings of having a strong-willed child.”
—Jim Daly, president of Focus on the Family
“You Can’t Make Me is a must-read for every parent of a strong-willed child. Cynthia Tobias is the go-to expert on this subject, and you can’t afford to miss out on her incredibly helpful guidance. This book is insightful, grounded, and immeasurably practical. Read it today and start bringing out the best in your strong-willed child!”
—Drs. Les and Leslie Parrott, authors of The Parent You Want to Be
“What a great book! So simple yet so profound. Time and time again I have recommended this book to teachers and parents. Growing up a strong-willed child and having one, I know firsthand how valuable the tools and ideas are in this book. Every parent and teacher should read this!”
—Mary Rice Hopkins, popular family/children’s recording artist
About the Author
Top Customer Reviews
The purpose for this book is to help parents learn to raise their strong-willed children. One thing I got out of this book, which I had not at all expected, was the understanding and realization that I myself was a "strong-willed child" and am still quite the strong-willed person. I'd never really recognized that about myself, because I've always been a generally compliant and submissive person, especially as a child, but this book showed me that being strong-willed is not necessarily about the outward behavior or a pattern of outward defiance. The more I read this book, the more I realized I was reading about myself.
Another thing I found in this book was that nearly all of the suggested parenting strategies are strategies I've already adopted and strive to keep, simply because I try to treat my children the way I myself would like to be treated. It's when I stray from those ideas (usually after being surrounded by ideas in the opposite direction) that my household becomes the most chaotic. One of the things about a SWC (strong-willed child) is that often, punishment backfires and results in a battle of wills. I know this is true for myself-if you try punishment to motivate me, my automatic response is to prove your punishment is not going to work, and as the author states several times, "There is nothing I have to do, except die, which I'm willing to do." I've found this to also be true for my children. I realized a long time ago that taking a mostly non-punitive stance in parenting tended to result in my daughters being far more compliant. It's not about "giving in" or being "permissive", it's about being more creative than punishment.Read more ›
I ordered this book because I am the parent of a strong-willed child. I felt like I was reading a book written by some other mom about my child. I never realized that my child might feel as if I were taking all the power away from them or that they may not resent authority but may resent how that authority is communicated. I also felt like it was too late for me. After all, my children are both in their late teens. If you find yourself thinking the same thing, there is hope. Tobias offers strategies which will preserve your relationship with your child while also helping them to use that "gift" God has given them to accomplish great things. Like many parents, perhaps you may disagree with your spouse regarding how to deal with your child. Tobias has advise for these situations as well.
This book can easily be read in half a day making it something you can begin to put into practice immediately whether your child is a toddler, teen, or adult. Even if you feel you have blown it with your child, it isn't too late. To read the first chapter, check out [...]
I did receive this book free from Multnomah Press in exchange for an honest review. I was in no way obligated to leave a positive review.
You Can't Make Me [But I Can Be Persuaded] by Cynthia Ulrich Tobias is not like any other parenting book I've ever read. I think the main difference is that the author isn't writing based only on personal experience and/or a college education or counseling career. Tobias has literally spoken to thousands of strong willed children (hereafter referred to as SWC) of varying ages and backgrounds. In essence, this book is like a compilation of the useful tips you can find scattered throughout many other bestselling parenting books.
I absolutely love that the tone of this book is positive and encouraging rather than critical.Read more ›
Most Recent Customer Reviews
This has been a fantastic resource in dealing with my strong-willed child!Published 11 days ago by Christian L.
I LOVED this book. We have twin boys, and one of them is my strong willed child. The author experienced the same situation with her twins, and, like me, was also a strong willed... Read morePublished 1 month ago by bodenmama4
I can see where this book would be excellent for parents of an older child (say 6+). It addresses ways of communicating with your strong willed child that would involve the child... Read morePublished 2 months ago by APSc
I knew within the first 15 pages I was going to like this book. Do yourself a favor and make the purchase. It provides insight on what life is like with a SWC. Read morePublished 2 months ago by Amazon Customer
This book is great and offers a lot of good advice. I just need the persistence to keep using the advice!Published 3 months ago by Karenrene