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Showing 1-10 of 162 reviews(Verified Purchases). See all 236 reviews
on August 8, 2015
Absolutely love the first couple of chapters. I found them full of sound advice and wisdom. Mostly philosophical-- no real world solutions here. I do understand that no child has the same currency so there is no possible way to offer all the possible scenarios...but a few helpful suggestions would have made this book better. The second half of the book is for parents of grown strong willed children, and wild ones at that.
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on July 20, 2015
My husband and I started reading this, and had to laugh at the many situations we found similar to our lives. We both have a strong willed sibling, and even though he and I tend to be more compliant individuals, we somehow ended up with two strong willed children. Our oldest is 11, and has the mental capacity of a teenager, but the maturity level still needs to catch up. I've immediately seen a difference in his behavior towards me in using just one of the techniques given in this book, so when I begin putting others into practice, I know there will be a major change in our home. This is encouraging, since our 8 year old is watching everything his brother does, and although he is still rather delayed in maturity for his age, he could benefit greatly from just watching the changes modeled in his older brother. I plan to use this book regularly through the next couple of years to improve communications in my home. Both boys are very loving, and have a strong desire to please us and keep a close relationship with us. Now dad and I have hope that our daily interactions with them will be more positive, and that we can bring out the best qualities in these boys that we are raising, so they have the confidence to use their strong will to pursue endless dreams.
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on December 27, 2013
As I read this book, I began to wonder who was spying on my household. I have three Strong Willed Child (SWC) - my two children and my husband. I finally understand the issues we've been struggling with - and had to laugh out loud when I read the part about the author's son "firing" his twin brother, as my eldest is famous for firing his sister.

This book is filled with fabulous foundation information to help you understand what makes your child react to life in his/her unique way, helps you take a breath and realize it's not your fault and that you are doing the best you can, and provides sound strategies to help you mitigate the arguments, debates and negotiations that are part of your daily life with a SWC.

I read the book in two nights. The next day, I told my 7 year old I was going to start asking lots of questions. Intrigued, he asked for an example. So I said, I know you don't like brushing your teeth - but before we go to bed tonight I'd like you to brush them. Do you want to brush them now or wait until later? After saying he wanted to get it over with, he stated that these are his favorite kind if questions. I asked why. He said because he likes to have choices and not be forced to do things. Bingo. Exactly what the book explained.

The next night, we were wrapping Christmas presents together. My 7 year old was struggling and I offered to help. His response was "I want to do it my way." I immediately wanted to explain that I had lots of experience and tricks to show him ... but after reading the book I bit my tongue. I now realize how important it is to let them work out tasks "their way."

After reading the book and having two affirmations immediately afterwards, I feel optimistic about my ability to better manage my SWC and reduce the meltdowns and tempers that flare daily in our house. I am eternally grateful for the lessons learned and the strategies outlined.
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on March 30, 2017
I heard Cynthia Tobias on Focus On the Family, and I loved her insight into the mind of a strong-willed person. She herself is strong-willed, and she has raised a strong-willed child. Combine that with her research, and she gets it. I am already working on using the strategies with my four year old SWC, and is has helped already! I am excited to see how he will use his strong will for good things.
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on February 1, 2013
I have read so many books on ways to effectively parent my strong-willed child and most of them make it sound like she is a "problem" to deal with. This book is different. She focuses on all the amazing traits only strong willed kids have and their potential for serious success and to be world changers. I found myself nodding along as she described inside a strong willed child's brain and how they think about the world... because I was a strong willed child. But just because I am strong willed and understand that, it does not mean it is easy to parent at all. She gives some great techniques and explains clearly how and why these can work well with this temperament. I read the book in 2 nights, and have put some of the techniques to test in the last few days and already have noticed my daughter responding well. Instead of a knock down drag out fit about something, I have managed to turn things into fits of laughter...and cooperation. Now I am trying to get my husband to read the book so he can better understand her. The book also explains how if you are trying to "rule with an iron fist" and do the whole authoritarian approach, you will never win with this type of child. They cannot handle feeling like you are trying to control them and will lash out every time to this approach. I completely agree and did the same thing as a child. As soon as my parents started putting more trust in me and giving me more opportunities to make my own decisions and deal with those consequences, things got MUCH better at home. MY daughter is only 4, so things are different, but there are still lots of ways to give her some control or make her feel like she has some. I am excited about this book's potential to change our relationship with her. I have always said I do not want to squash her amazing spirit, we just needed to figure out how to wrangle her in a little bit so we can effectively parent her and manage the strong willed nature in a positive direction. This book gives tools, hope, and lots of examples towards doing this.
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on October 22, 2012
Exhausted but not able to give up I stumbled across this book on a Focus on the Family Video interview. When I received the book I read its pages as if sucking down my favorite sweet. It was so encouraging to know and see first hand the struggles that I face daily with our child and my husband lived out before me in the scenarios. I was able to take a reflective look on how I could have handled the situations better and challenged as I realized I MUST change. I copied the child/teacher relationship portion and gave it to my childs teacher as well. I am in the midst of reading the book again not so much for comfort but for clear steps on how to build better relationships with my husband and child who both fall in the category of STRONG-WILLED individuals. I am encouraged and filled with hope after this transparent, easy to read manual helped me realize this is who God intended them to be and reminded me God is NOT punishing me. I have some self-discipline to develop myself and a consistent but not overbearing role to take and I know my humaness will ensure that I will make some more mistakes...but I am intent about giving more tickets and less warnings as the book suggest so that death by dialogue with no consequences doesn't raise its ugly head. I must be intent about thinking , " WHAT IS THE POINT?," and not just trying to have them do it my way. And most importantly I MUST remember in the midst of the process the reason I got married and wanted to have a child...it was about my love that I wanted to share and the relationships I desired and still desire to cultivate. Excellent book that gives all who care to know how the mind of a strong willed individual operates and challenges you to meet them at their point of need and allow them to choose to meet you in an unexpected way.
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on August 1, 2014
Oh, boy! I interact daily with brilliant and very stubborn first grader. You Can't Make Me (but I Can Be Persuaded) gave me perspective I needed, practical strategies, and much-needed encouragement. Although I am a fast reader, these 192 pages took me weeks to read because I would read a few pages, set it down, think about it, be distracted by strong-will's poster child, and a few days later, finally be able to pick it up again. If he'd known what this book was, I am sure he would have "lost" the book permanently. We have had laugh-until-you-cry moments since I learned how to defuse "No, I won't!".
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on May 7, 2015
Recommended by a coworker. It is a fast read, and could be finished in a single night (depending on how demanding your children are, haha). Included are some pretty good stories from other parents, and Ms. Tobias gives tips from all of them. She has made this subject her life study, so using her guidance is a must.
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on November 30, 2015
This book was just what I needed. It's short and sweet. After a brief explanation of what a strong willed child is and how their minds work, it jumps right into practical strategies to use. The bottom line is making requests vs. demands. And I think that's easier to do once you understand why demands result in power struggles and conflict.

There were some parts that were too Christian for me, including a whole chapter about right vs. wrong, which addressed the Bible's commandment to obey parents. As an atheist, I just skipped those parts. The rest of the book was still very helpful.

I bought this book while reading it because I know it's one I will want to read again. There are some sections on dealing with older children and teens that I'd like to come back to when my son is a little older.

Now I just need my husband to read the key chapters (1-3, and 5), so we can be on the same page with our parenting style.

http://www.momsradius.com/2015/10/book-review-you-cant-make-me.html
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on February 27, 2013
As a grown strong willed child with my own strong willed child, the opportunity to learn more about what makes us tick has daily life benefits. I especially appreciate the balanced approach to respecting the inherent benefits of strong willed personalities while recognizing and addressing where such qualities can be used inappropriately.

Too many advice books dangerously push the unrealistic notion that their book can solve any problem, no matter how extreme. As such, it is a refreshing relief that this author dedicates sections and advice to recognize and seek appropriate assistance for circumstances that have already deteriorated beyond the included recommendations.

Truly valuable, practical, and realistic advice on dealing with strong personalities of any age. A must have for parents and managers alike.
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