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Captured (The Captive Series Book 1) Kindle Edition
|Length: 172 pages||Word Wise: Enabled||Enhanced Typesetting: Enabled|
|Page Flip: Enabled||
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Our h has just been sold to a vampire in a blood slave auction. She's been living on the run in the forest with a small band of humans who are resisting the Vampire overlords. Her new owner is the gorgeous prince vampire. He has the cleaning ladies take her off to be bathed -- she's smelly and dirty from living in the woods. She is scrubbed down, has her nails painted, dressed in a skirt and blouse, strapped into high heels and sent back to the prince.
What era is this supposed to depict? Why does she need her toenails painted in order to provide a meal to her new owner? She's supposed to be terrified of what's going to happen, but all she can think about is how he makes her tingle and feel things, especially when she see's his bedroom.
Really? There is bad, and then there is this.
First of all, everyone is right when they say that the storyline itself has great potential. I read all four books in the series. (I know a 5th book came later, but it focuses on a different character & should've been considered a spin-off, as that is exactly what it is.) I read them all because I saw the potential in the storyline & I was curious where it would all end up.
The author has some great story ideas but focuses too much on sharing the feelings of the two lead characters CONSTANTLY. When you have three paragraphs & the first and third are nearly identical in describing how the characters are feeling - it gets frustratingly redundant for the reader. It seemed that the majority of the time we are reading of their feelings, it's nearly exactly the same as they've felt every other time we were told how they felt. We want details on what the characters are doing & seeing with the feelings being woven with those other details. SHOW us how they feel, don't tell us ALL the time. There are times when it's better to describe it the way she did but not ALL the time in EVERY book in the series.
Now the second part of my review. The editing. The author did not need to thank Leslie Mitchell from G2 Freelance editing at all. In fact, I hope the editing was FREE. Because there was NOTHING done - and if Leslie did in fact put in some hard work, then I'm flabbergasted at the thought of what this looked like BEFORE editing. Here's why.
When the word should have been plural (vampires) it was very often typed in the possessive (vampire's). This happened with the word funerals & many other words as well. Not just in the first book or two, but throughout the ENTIRE series. I made faces & cringed IRL when I saw this happen over & over. This was the grammatical error made most often in the series.
The word "grated" was used far too often to describe someone speaking angrily. It was completely overused & at one point in one of the books it seemed that words by main characters could only be "grated."
Often times, I had to reread passages to know WHO had spoken inside the quotes. Why? Well, because the author had written a conversation between two or three people and a break in line with quotes would not always signify that a new character was speaking.
And when character A was speaking, the text after that quote (in the same paragraph - no new line created) would describe the thoughts or feelings of character B. It was quite confusing & happened every now & again throughout the series as well.
These are just some of the main issues I had with the grammar.
So while I commend the author on a great idea with an interesting storyline, I have to ask her to find a better editor. One who had at least a firm grasp on the English language. Also, an editor for content (not just grammar & spelling) would make this go from a good story, to a great story!
First in the Captive series
Aria lives in a world where vampires rule. The humans are either low class workers who serve vampires, rebels living in the woods hoping to overthrow the reign of the vampires, or blood slaves. Blood slaves are rebels who are captured and sold to the highest bidder for consumption and torture. Aria has been captured and she knows that this will be the end of her life. Braith is the prince of the vampires and he saves Aria before she is given to a monster, but she knows that she has really been saved because the prince is known for being lethal. Vampire stories are not my favorite thing in the world anymore. I used to consume only vampire stories after discovering Twilight and before branching out into different genres. Something that does appeal to me now is slaves/ kidnapped dark romance stories. I love them because of the psychology behind it. Do these characters really love their captor or is it the famous Stockholm syndrome taking hold of their minds and they are trying to survive through psychological means? I think it’s so interesting. I’m usually drawn to darker stories that don’t have paranormal elements like Comfort Food and Nine Minutes and for the younger audience Stolen: A Letter to My Captor. I love dark contemporaries and those three novels have all earned five star ratings from me because they were so compelling. This novel is paranormal and that makes the whole Stockholm syndrome fly to the forest the Aria runs in. It can be there and it is prevalent, but this story isn’t meant to be psychological; it’s meant to be a dark vampire romance story that has a questionable love interest.
"She was most certainly more than an it, but not here, and not now."
I don’t feel guilty admitting to really like this book. I REALLY like this book, so much so that I’ve recommended it to numerous people in my daily life since finishing because it’s free and worth downloading. The writing in this obviously from an indie author. I personally don’t think that indie authors should be excluded from grammar mistakes (Commas are important, Mrs. Stevens! Learn how to use them and apply it!), but the writing flowed very well. It’s not the most wonderful writing in the world, but I was incredibly enamored with the story and couldn’t put it down. I wanted to keep reading and my nitpicky findings were quickly forgotten about because I needed to know how this book would end.
Whimsical Writing Scale: 3.5
The main female character is Aria. I really like Aria; she’s brave, but also realizes that she’s incredibly impulsive and it puts her in bad situations (like becoming a blood slave). Aria is illiterate and that's an incredibly interesting character trait that I enjoy seeing and it's probably the only fully fleshed out thing about Aria. She doesn’t have much character development beyond that. We are told things about her, but I don’t have a connection to Aria. She’s a character whose world I’m currently enjoying being a part of, but I have no deeper connection to her beyond that.
Kick-Butt Heroine Scale: 3.5
The main male character is Braith. I don’t always particularly like Braith and his actions are very gray at best, but I can’t deny that I’m incredibly invested in his storyline with Aria. Like damn, I feel kind of like a fangirl about their relationship, but I don’t LOVE their relationship. Do I ship it? Of course, but I ship it because it’s the primary source of tension in this book. I don’t have a deep connection to Braith, but I do feel like I know him a little more than Aria. Maybe it’s because his secret actually shocked me and I wasn’t expecting (view spoiler)
Swoon Worthy Scale: 3.75
The Villain- I think I’m supposed to dislike everybody except Aria and Braith and that’s pretty much the case. This book isn’t meant to have a thought-provoking and intense villain; it’s meant to be devoted to the developing relationship of Aria and Braith and I’m sure the sequels will have more of a “villain” or group to take down.
Villain Scale: 2
Seriously, I didn’t like one single character outside of Aria and Braith. Maggie had potential, but she was just there and didn’t contribute anything. All the characters I’m supposed to like, I’ve begun to dislike since picking up the sequel and that’s pretty much skewed any previous notions of the characters in this book. One area that Stevens really lacks in is character development. It’s just not there. The characters just exist and move around to compliment the story. They are more like paper dolls than realistic heroines and heroes.
Character Scale: 3
Overall, this novel has a lot of flaws, but for being a free Kindle book this novel is superb. Seriously, freebies usually don’t hold up as well as Captured did and that’s why I think I enjoyed it so much. The thrill of finding a new freebie that was actually good (it’s been a long time since that’s happened) and the storyline had one of my immediate book pickups, so there were a lot of pluses for me personally. Do I recommend this? Sure! If you want a fun and free read that is just meant to be fun and nothing beyond that then I highly recommend picking this one up.
Plotastic Scale: 4.5
Cover Thoughts: The cover is cliché, but I kind of dig it. Maybe. It’s pretty meh.
Most recent customer reviews
Captured my attention from first chapter! Very well written! Loved all of the characters especially Braith! Cannot wait to finish