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Carnageland Paperback – October 5, 2009
The Amazon Book Review
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From the Inside Flap
"Were you a dork in high school? Did you play Dungeons & Dragons or read books featuring knights, wizards, elves, hobbits, and clerics? Do you hate these things now? Would you like to see these characters and creatures of fantasy killed in the most brutal of ways? If so, Carnageland is the book for you. It's Takashi Miike's Izo meets the Shrek movies if Izo were a little green alien rather than an undead samurai." - BRADLEY SANDS, author of My Heart Said No, But the Camera Crew Said Yes!
"Call it "Shrek" as directed by Quentin Tarantino." - KEVIN SWEENEY, co-author of Sideshow P.I.
"Basically, this story has extreme sex and violence, and clever cartoony ideas connected to fairy tales and alien invasions. If that sounds like an ideal combination, Carnageland is your book." - AWESOMER THAN THOU
"All hail the Captain Crunch-powered id monkey! Its fun, it's violent, it rots your brain. In other words, buy it now." - WITHERSIN MAGAZINE
"Carnageland is a fantastic addition to the Bizarro world, and deserves a place on your bookshelf." - LIVING WITH A NERD
Top Customer Reviews
Carnageland is an interesting read. There's little character development; the characters are what they are. There's some repetition in the action. But I loved the hell out of it. Why? Well, it's the same reason that I love the hell out of Corman flicks or SciFi (now, the oddly named SyFy) original movies. Because they're like sugary confectionary Saturday Morning cartoons for adults.
If you're looking for a sympathetic character and massive development, or even scientific gadgetry in your sci-fi, then bypass this book. If you watched Saturday Morning cartoons, like B-grade movies and twisted fairytales, then you'll absolutely love this book, like I did.
Remember Sherman and Peabody? Yeah, those two. They were always messing with history. Fractured Fairytales did the same. Now, imagine that land, twisted by Todd McFarlane, and invaded by aliens. There you go...that's kind of what Carnageland is.
It opens with 898 preparing for invasion. Inpire, Inc, the world where these "invaders" come from, is a pretty cool place, and I'd love to see more of it in the future. Aliens are selected by an epic claw (just like Toy Story..."the claw is our master"!) as the chosen invaders. Well, 898 gets selected to decimate a planet filled with fantastical beasts...slightly twisted fairytale creations. And decimate he does. If you've ever imagined some of the fairytale creatures getting slaughtered in horrific fashion, well, now's your chance to see it unfold. (On a side note, my favorite twisted character was the Ninjerbread Man...'nuff said.)
Carnageland is a fast read - almost too fast, `cause I wanted more - and fun. It really is like Roger Corman got his hands on the works of Piers Anthony and went to town.
Carnageland is available at Amazon.com...help us authors out.
Empty your mind and let David W. Barbee take you away to a magical, enchanted, perverse and brutal land. A land where a giant fascistic alien corporation sends invaders to perform hostile takeovers of entire planets. A land with worlds made of money, inhabited by perverted fairytale creatures who use sex as a form of currency. And a land with a little green fellow called 898 with a loud green trumpet betwixt his legs, who plans on wiping out said planet with his Doomshooter.
CARNAGELAND reads like a video-game dreamed up by pre-adolescent boys while dizzy on lemonade. It's fast and it's funny as hell. There's enough sex and violence to satisfy the A.D.D. child in us all. CARNAGELAND is an absolute joy from start to finish.
Do yourself a favor and pick up this book before Inpire Inc. makes us their next priority.
Luckily, I was definitely super-ultra-wrong about my iffy-ness. Depriving myself of this, would have been really, really stupid.
It's one of the most dementedly cute books I've ever read! All these horrendous and horrible events happen, but it manages to be ridiculously cute. I mean I "Awwwed" in a couple places.
It's like a deranged fairy tale. If I had clinically insane little kids, this is what I read to them for a bed time story. While they listened, they'd munch on home baked Ninjabreadmen cookies, and play with 898 figurines with fully working trumpet penises.
From its beginning, you know you're starting out on a thrill-ride. The story begins with little green men who seem to have escaped from the Buzz Lightyear cartoon, underwent desensitivity training and came out believing that all the universe is for their corporate control. Their constant plan is invasion. They are masters at it.
Carnageland fills its in-betweens with a fun, hilarious, and smart story about one of those LGMs and his quest to be the best killer he can be. Our hero ("named" 898) was born for a planet-wide murderous rampage and we get to follow him through it.
In the end, our favorite killer little green man transforms from a, "am I killing everyone right?" sort to an all-out mini-machine of certain destruction. I love 898.
We follow the little killer on his first invasion. Barbee's planet of invasion is hilariously perfect for a corporation to acquire. Money literally grows on trees there. Gems are like dirt. 898 gets right to genocidic business.
The action comes quick and hard and doesn't let-up. This is from page 11, after 898 meets the first being from the planet he's about to destroy:
"...The creature carried an umbrella over its head and skipped over to the invader. `Ah!' it said, hooves clacking against the crystal ground. `What bringest thou to this merry wood? I am a faun, one of the forest children. What race is thou? A dwarf? Perhaps some sort of--'
A giant green spark shot of 898's Doomshooter and melted off the faun's face..."
And that's how it begins. I think Mr. Barbee touches on (and destroys) every beloved fairy tale creature, D&D meme, and 80s action cartoon there ever was. This is good, vibrant writing. The book flies by. I gobbled it. I only wish there was more. But there really cannot be.
I'll have to wait for David. W. Barbee's next excellent adventure.
Most Recent Customer Reviews
This is exactly what alien invaders should be like: cold, brutal, kinda cute, armed with a Doomshooter, and easily aroused by that thing betwixt their legs. Read morePublished on February 7, 2013 by Raf
David Barbee is a National Treasure, which is to say, he is an action-packed thriller starring Nicolas Cage. Read morePublished on June 7, 2012 by NumberLord
898 the main character, is on his first mission to overtake a planet and claim all its resources for his people.
At around 70 pages Mr. Read more
898 is an alien invader and is quite good at his job. Armed with his all-purpose Doomshooter, he is sent down to a planet populated with fantastical creatures. Read morePublished on September 17, 2011 by Sarah A. Shaw
898 is a noob invader sent from his home planet of intergalactic infiltration. And he is out to destroy and conquer. Read morePublished on August 4, 2011 by Jason Wuchenich
A notable novella that's an exercise in notation in which the question is asked, "How many references may a gentleman posit in his literary endeavours? Read morePublished on August 1, 2011 by Meryl
Carnageland has it all. Horror elements of violent killings, fantasy elements of misguided wizards, and sci fi. elements of a colonizing alien. Read morePublished on July 7, 2011 by JB
This very short tale... how to describe it?
I could say that it makes me think of a car crash between one of Richard Stark's "Parker" novels (one character doggedly kills his... Read more
Carnageland is full of non-stop action and excitement with tons of sick stuff around every corner. Never a dull moment. Read morePublished on November 19, 2010 by Vince Kramer