The story begins with the christening ceremony of King Verence and Queen Magrat's baby girl, Princess Margaret Note Spelling. A family of modernist vampires from Uberwald attend the ceremony and quickly and painlessly take over the castle, in part by using mind control on all in attendance. But two people couldn't be controlled: one was the priest who performed the christening, the other was Agnes Nitt/Perdita, she of two minds, neither of which could be controlled by the vampires. Meanwhile, Granny Weatherwax has gone missing, and the three junior witches: Magrat, Nanny Ogg, and Agnes/Perdita (wait--isn't that technically 4?) have to work out for themselves how to conquer the vampires. They can't be killed in the usual way--they have trained themselves to overcome the effects of religious symbols, holy water, garlic, sunlight, and other traditional methods. It's not long before the witches know they're in over their heads, and have to find Granny Weatherwax. But when they do find her, she refuses to come with them. She cannot get into the vampires' minds, but they can get into hers, and the only way she feels safe is to hide out in a cave. Of course, the reader knows that won't last long. She figures out a way to store part of herself in someone else--but whom? But this weakens her and when she finally faces down the vampires, she cannot resist them, and one of them bites her.
At this point, I was wondering how Pratchett could pull off the plot resolution without it seeming terribly contrived, but he succeeded. If you want to find out how, you'll have to read the book. It's the usual pace of the Discworld books: seemingly disparate plot lines plod along, start to converge halfway through the book, then there's an action-packed crisis, and a then he ties up the loose ends in the last few pages. We get some great insights into Granny Weatherwax's character. A very satisfying read.
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Customer reviews
Poking a bit of fun at the Vampire Culture
Reviewed in the United States on May 7, 2013
Oh how I adored this. From the title (Seize the Jugular ^_^), to the characters and the concept. Yes, it's a bit similar to Lords and Ladies, but this had a more entertaining edge.I mean, there are my favourite witches and we get vampires? And we're poking fun at all the classic vampire movies? How could I not love? I just wish real life hadn't gotten in the way so many times and let me read this in a sane timeframe.It starts off quite innocent, then takes a nose dive as the vampires (sorry, vampyres) arrive in Lancre with the intent to stay and farm the local populace. Worse yet, these vamps have learned and ain't going down to an axe on the neck, never mind a simple garlic clove. And what fun would it be if they did?Things are completely thrown off-guard for me as I was expecting Granny to hop in and save the day. She's Granny after all. But no, she cannot. Instead it's left to Anges. It's interesting to see the `maiden' of the witchy trio muddle her way through the whole scene, including fighting off the advances of Vlad, a vampire who just can't seem to get what "sod off" means (or what a well-place elbow/knee can do ^_^).I do think I wouldn't have enjoyed the bits with Oats quite as much if I hadn't already read Small Gods, but I have and enjoyed that too, so really it was more acquainting myself with an old friend and laughing at how wrong the Omnians have gotten Brutha's words and life.Now the Nac Mac Feegles ... I'd some trouble understanding what they were saying at first (same with Igor, though he was easier), but they grew on me. How could I not like a six-inch high pictsie who likes nothing more than drinking, fighting and stealing cattle?
Reviewed in the United States on May 7, 2013
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Top reviews from other countries
David Guiry
Never issue an invitation to a vampire.
Reviewed in the United Kingdom on December 13, 2019
Mr. M. Ryder
A brilliant, funny book for anytime of day... night... or whatever.
Reviewed in the United Kingdom on March 17, 2019Kindle Customer
Pratchett never disappoints
Reviewed in the United Kingdom on September 30, 2020
