- File Size: 583 KB
- Print Length: 256 pages
- Simultaneous Device Usage: Unlimited
- Publication Date: June 12, 2012
- Sold by: Amazon Digital Services LLC
- Language: English
- ASIN: B008BDYYJ6
- Text-to-Speech: Enabled
- Word Wise: Enabled
- Lending: Enabled
- Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #31,726 Paid in Kindle Store (See Top 100 Paid in Kindle Store)
|Print List Price:||$11.00|
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To Catch A Spinster (The Reluctant Bride Collection Book 1) Kindle Edition
|Length: 256 pages||Word Wise: Enabled||Enhanced Typesetting: Enabled|
|Page Flip: Enabled||
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Top Customer Reviews
Olivia Blakesly (or is it Blakesley? Who cares?) is a Regency-era spinster of twenty seven. And she's pretty OK with that, she has her "studies," an allegedly overwhelming interest in astronomy (we'll get to that in a moment). With five married sisters and accepting of the notion she won't marry herself, Olivia decides to take the seduction bull by the horns and get herself a no-strings-attached temporary lover, just to see what the fuss is all about and to experience passion for herself, at least once.
After considering and rejecting various men for various reasons, Olivia settles on Nathanial Jenkins as her designated seducer. After all of eighteen seconds of extremely silly conversation. Right. Because he's so overwhelmingly sexy and gorgeous and built like a god? No. As far as I could tell, she picked Nathanial because he wasn't those things but he was discreet. And there. So she propositions the fellow on their second meeting and he thinks she's insane (rightly so in my opinion) but then he can't stop thinking about Olivia and agrees to deflower her at their very next meeting. But Olivia doesn't just want the sex, she wants the illusion of being courted--walks in the park, nights at the opera, dances at the balls. And they have their sex and their faux courtship then Nathanial does the unthinkable and falls in love with her, proposes and is rejected. That all happens within the first 50 pages or so. The rest of the book is spent with Nathanial trying to change her mind, which he never actually does but change her mind SHE does and off they go to wedded bliss.
Oh, this book was bad in so very many ways. In broad strokes--the writing was juvenile. Which shouldn't be surprising since the "heroine" acted like a rotten teenager most of the time. The research was nonexistent. The language choice was decidedly modern. People didn't say "OK" in Regency England. I know this because I LOOKED IT UP. Something the author clearly didn't do. And Olivia's raison d'etre, astronomy? (By the way, the word astronomy is not used once in the book, even though it has been in usage since the 13th century. I looked that up, too. But's OK because we have "OK" in there so I guess it evens out.) This burning passion is referenced but only in passing general terms. The only time a specific reference is made, the author has Olivia point out Orsa Major, supposedly the Big Bear constellation but I'm pretty sure that should have been Ursa Major, what with "ursa" being the latin root for bear. I didn't believe for a moment Olivia knew what the devil she was talking about.
And there's Olivia's wardrobe. She dresses abominably. A superficial concern perhaps, but it's a recurring theme through the story. She consistently wears ugly, unfashionable clothes that don't suit her and that she herself doesn't particularly like. I was left with the feeling that she was punishing herself but if so, Olivia never discloses the reason. She seems to take a great deal of petty satisfaction in thwarting everyone for no good reason, right down to her clothing choices.
Finally, the reason Olivia consistently refuses to marry Nathanial (even though she expects him to drop his pants and perform on her command--ick)? She doesn't think she's marriage material. She's too headstrong, too dedicated to her studies (though she can't name a major constellation correctly), too off-beat, too strong-willed. So says Olivia. This reviewer says, "Oh, please!"
I know I was supposed to view the heroine as courageous in her convictions, strong in character for pursuing unwomanly interests, on a higher plane for her lack of interest in clothes, marriage and gossip. I didn't. I loathed her for being unreasonably truculent, for throwing tantrums when Nathanial won't be her on-demand stud, for admitting that Nathanial is everything she could ever hope for in a partner and that she loves him but digging in her heels like a spiteful seven year-old. I did not cheer her on. I did not relate to her purported independence (an independence that would make her a life-long financial burden to her parents and then her sister and brother-in-law and no, I'm not making that up--the author told us that was Olivia's plan). I wanted to drop her in a deep well, nail a cover over the opening and wait to see how long it would take for her bones to rot. I had difficulty forming an opinion about Nathanial because Olivia was just so very awful that she took up all my opinion-forming space.
This was just a bad book all around. Poorly written, poorly researched, poorly plotted and with a thoroughly unlikable heroine. There was no romance here. There wasn't even a decent smutty scene. In the end, there is absolutely no reason to read this tale.
However, the character of Olivia was tiresome. I get that she considers herself a spinster at the ripe old age of 27 (although that was considered old back then), and I understand her desire to never marry. However, when it becomes obvious that she has feelings for Nathaniel, and he for her, and she still continues to act haughty (and spoiled), it gets old. I can't honestly say if I were Nathaniel that I would have kept perusing her. Then, for a moment let us consider the whole "proposition" that she gives Nathaniel. She doesn't want to marry him, but she wants him to court her. She wants that much at least. Oh, and she wants him to have sex with her. The no strings attached kind that you know.. didn't happen in Regency England between people of respectable families.
Another thing that bothered me about this book is the way the dialog would suddenly switch to a more "modern" way of speaking, and the way the actions of the characters were completely inappropriate given the time period. While some actions were considered "appropriate" for the main character, they were not for the time period, and regardless of her antics, she would not have been allowed by her family to get away with them.
Aside from being a stubborn pain in the arse, Olivia has an abysmal fashion sense, which I only bring up because her "hideous" fashion choices were more a topic in the book that her supposed love for astronomy.
The one started off strong, but lost momentum about half way through. I think if more attention had been paid to the pair building a friendship and their resulting courtship, it would have made for a more sustainable book.
It reads way too modern. Regency England was very stuffy and formal. Not one person said "pregnant" pregnant wasn't really spoken aloud for 100s of years. Lucy couldn't even tell Ricky she was pregnant on TV in the 1950s. The language is all over the place. One minute it sounds fluffy Regency "That was a jolly crush" "Smash this, this ball is such a crush that" then it's just completely modern with the characters playing dress up in Regency costume.
The heroine wasn't really all that likable. She started off kind of humorous but then the hero falls for her and he really looks like a dunce trying to catch her while she has NO emotions whatsoever. She was Ice Princess and the hero was stuck on stupid trying to get her to say "yes"
Pass this one on by like scenary.