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A band of mercenaries steals Attila the Hun's fabled sword and inadvertently awakens the most feared creature in all of mythology - Cerberus, the monstrous 3-headed dog with a thirst for blood. Greg Evigan, Sebastian Spence, Brent Florence, and Emmanuell
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Top customer reviews
I thought it was a good movie, not something to absolutely rush out for but if its on TV Id say you can stay and not be bored!
What, you expected a movie to be about the titular monster? It appears that Cerberus guards said sword and that whomever wields it becomes invincible. A maniac with a sword isn't very scary by today's standards, so the film does back flips to connect the villain searching for the sword (Garret Sato as Kul Jae Sung) with nuclear weapons. It seems Sung is an ex-North Korean general with some nukes and he's not afraid to use them. A U.S. team of agents, led by Jake Addams (Sebastian Spence), are on a mission to stop Sung from getting the sword, lest it unbalance his fragile state of mind so much that he chooses to use the nukes.
Follow that? It's pretty clear that since Sung has such delicate sensibilities, the agents' job is to keep him from having a bad day: Mission to Keep Sung's Shower Hot, the Mission so Sung Doesn't Get Too Many Stoplights on His Way to Work, and the Mission to Assassinate that Guy Who Didn't Say "Thank You" he Sneezed and Sung Said "Bless You." They must be really busy.
When head thug and U.S. turncoat Marcus Cutter (Greg Evigan) botches the acquisition of a different Attila artifact, Dr. Samanta Gaines (the gorgeous Emmanuelle Vaugier) is unwittingly pulled into this game of cat and also cat. To make matters worse, her idiot brother Zach (Brent Florence mumbling along) is taken hostage.
Throughout Cerberus is a smug streak where director and writer John Terlesky dares you to question the film's logic. Much dialogue is dedicated to justifying Attila's sword (it's true, there really was a Sword of Mars), how Attila was part of Roman mythology (partially true) and why Cerberus guards it (not true). The movie conflates Hell with Hades, substitutes a gothic-style modern sword for Attila's ancient blade, and generally hopes you're not paying attention to much of what's going on because if you stare at Cerberus funny the whole thing falls apart.
But we came to see a giant three-headed dog eat people, right? Cerberus falls flat in the monster department. One of the most unsettling things about Dioskilos was the barking of two dogs at different times. Put quite simply, you could close your eyes and know that the thing had two heads. Cerberus can't even get that right - we just get one loud bark. What we do get is what looks a bit like Scrappy Doo bounding awkwardly along. At least this Cerberus has a snake tail.
The problem is that the majority of the film isn't about Cerberus. It's about the invincible Cutter killing, raping, and pillaging his way through the local town. Cerberus can only be slain by the Sword of Mars (of course) so it's up to our hero to grapple the sword away from Cutter and kill the beast.
Cerberus is a monster movie that is rightfully ashamed of its monster. Which still leaves Dioskilos as top dog(s).
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