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Change Your Life, Not Your Wife: Marriage-Saving Advice for Success-Driven People

4.8 out of 5 stars 36 customer reviews
ISBN-13: 978-0985043407
ISBN-10: 0985043407
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Editorial Reviews

About the Author

Dr. Tony Ferretti is a licensed psychologist specializing in helping professionally successful clients with relationship problems. He holds Bachelors and Masters degrees from the University of New York at Albany and received his Ph.D. from the University of Southern Mississippi. For over twenty years Dr. Ferretti has shared his expertise in psychology to help others recognize the addictive nature of power, control, and "success." He's appeared on the Dr. Phil Show and hosted his own radio show, Talk to Tony, for nearly two years. Happily married for two decades with three children, he lives and practices in Central Florida.

Dr. Peter Weiss is a physician and healthcare executive with a passion for helping others to physical and emotional health. Dr. Weiss holds Bachelor of Arts and Doctor of Medicine degrees from Washington University in St. Louis. Formerly in the practice of Internal Medicine and Infectious Disease, he currently he serves as President of Concert Health Plan and Florida Hospital Healthcare System, parts of the Adventist Health System located in Orlando, Florida. Married for over 20 years, he lives with his wife, Sharon, in Orlando, Florida.

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Product Details

  • Paperback: 192 pages
  • Publisher: Heathrow Books (May 14, 2012)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 0985043407
  • ISBN-13: 978-0985043407
  • Product Dimensions: 8.9 x 5.9 x 0.6 inches
  • Shipping Weight: 11.2 ounces
  • Average Customer Review: 4.8 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (36 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #970,690 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

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Customer Reviews

Top Customer Reviews

Format: Paperback
Although the title of this book suggests that it is written for men, as a woman I found it very helpful and informative. As it says in the book, marriage is a partership and both partners can benefit from reading it. I especially liked the Self-Assesment section in each chapter. The questions asked really make you stop and think about your role in making your marriage work. I also liked the Bottom Line at the end of each chapter which summarizes what you've just read. Before reading this book I really thought that my husband should be more considerate, a much better conversationalist and more in touch with my feelings. After reading the book I realize that there are things I need to change about myself before I can expect anything to change in my marriage. All in all, I found this book to be an easy read and very thought-provoking. I would suggest it for anyone who wants to improve his/her marriage and life in general.
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Format: Paperback
The title says it all. Fix that which is broken now (you), or start over and make the same mistakes, probably ending in another broken marriage. The book follows a fictional couple through the process of infidelity and relationship detachment, identifying the core issue (usually fear-based), providing tools for self-change, individual counseling, and couples counseling. The book concludes with healing of the relationship. The other option is also discussed in the Appendix, with the fictional marriage ending is separation, one spouse leaving, divorce, and one spouse undergoing personal healing through individual counseling. The book offers several common sense solutions that unfortunately are not so common in today's high-pressure society. The reader is encouraged to take full responsibility for only the thing(s) he/she can truly impact. These include only his/her own actions and reactions. There are specific questions to address each topic at the end of the chapter for personal or couples discussion and growth. Conflict resolution is described in the most simple terms that this reader has ever seen. Marriage is life's most difficult relationship but can and should be life's most rewarding relationship.

I read this book in a matter of 2 days and instantly began to put the suggestions into practice. I then shared the book with my spouse. At first she was skeptical. "This looks like every other book I have read". However, not trying to control the situation (the old me), I said nothing, just left it out on the coffee table. She eventually began to read it and then took it to her personal counselor. Her counselor is actually ordering a copy for herself! After months of pain and lack of full forgiveness, this week my spouse forgave me and is wiping the slate clean.
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Format: Paperback
This book is full of wonderful insights and solutions for couples who find themselves in a relationship with a success driven power person, even if they happen to be that person themselves! The book follows the account of a fictitious couple who meet, fall in love and live happily until they finally reach a power failure where the relationship is in crisis. The chapters cover various topics from what is essential for a good marriage, such as good communication and conflict resolution to six relationship killing traits at the other end of the spectrum. There is a wonderful chapter on how you develop your personality traits, which deals with everything from unresolved childhood issues to codependency problems and more. The final chapters deal with the couple seeking out counseling to help them recognize their own responsibility in the failing of their relationship and how to work toward rebuilding a healthy and happy marriage. One of my favorite parts of the book is the way in which the author used highlighted boxes to distill and reinforce the really important information in the chapter - it made it easy to go back and review. I would highly recommend this book to any couple who wants to build and maintain a really healthy relationship.
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Format: Paperback
Tony Ferretti and Peter J. Weiss have combined their efforts to write a very readable and practically helpful handbook on marriage for success driven people. Early into the book the author's write their thesis: "The power failure syndrome happens because the same traits that propel people to the top in business cause turmoil in their personal lives."

I've witnessed this reality time and time again as a pastor and life coach. It's mind boggling to me how many men and women are successful in their careers and woefully unsuccessful in their relationships at home with their spouse and children. The bulk of this book is designed to counteract this trend by honing in on four key areas in a marriage: 1) Working toward the marriage you want to have - it does take work; 2) Achieving balance between your career and your relationships; 3) Establishing an ease in your relationships; and 4) All you need to do is change yourself!

The main aspects of deteriorization in a marriage result from trying to bring two personalities together; having differing expectations; and being unable to talk through conflict resolution. This results in conflicts growing, frustration being built; chronic anger being developed; resentments being formed and intensified; and ultimately detachment and crisis.

The author's give many real life examples of how marriages deteriorate, as well as steps that can be taken in order to avert a crisis, and even develop a successful and happy marriage. They talk about relational killers, and give wonderful advice in the areas of communication and nurturing your marriage. I recommend this book as a good guidebook for couples to detect their emotional and character blind spots.
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