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Changes That Heal Paperback – November 24, 1993
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From the Back Cover
In this ground-breaking book, Dr. Cloud takes the reader step-by-step through the four basic tasks of becoming mature image bearers of God: Bonding to others - Separating from others - Sorting out good and bad in ourselves and others - Becoming an adult -- Dr. Cloud not only explains and describes each task, he also identifies the problems that result when we fail to accomplish that task, and he shows us what changes to make in our lives in order to bring about healing.
About the Author
Dr. Henry Cloud is an acclaimed leadership expert, psychologist, and New York Times best-selling author. In his leadership consulting practice, Dr. Cloud works with both Fortune 500 companies and smaller private businesses. He has an extensive executive coaching background and experience as a leadership consultant, devoting the majority of his time working with CEOs, leadership teams, and executives to improve performance, leadership skills, and culture. Dr. Cloud lives in Los Angeles with his wife, Tori, and their two daughters, Olivia and Lucy.
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It has sections that discuss the balance of grace and truth, bonding, boundaries, good and bad, and being a mature adult. It has been used by the Lord to bring true freedom in my life, in which I am pursuing God out of love, not compulsion. There is much truth presented, but it is presented in love and brings hope.
I have a notebook with things I am learning from 'Changes that Heal' from which comes the following: It confirmed my need for genuine relationships with other people - which I knew at some level before, but understand more fully now. It helped me identify healthy relationships and those which are not. Knowing what we are responsible for and what we are not is also very freeing. I feel empowered to be who I am without apology but also to recognize my weaknesses (without shame) and how to get better. I am still processing how we tend to separate good and bad in us and others and how that affects us, which has been key for me. 'Changes that Heal' also helped me see how adult relationships are intended to work and how feeling 'one up' or 'one down' to other adults (including parents and adult children) affects our relationships. It helped me understand the stages children go through and appreciate why teen years can be very difficult and their striving for independence. Dr Cloud also discusses in each section what happens when things go wrong, giving real examples of people affected and how they got better.
I have purchased 10 copies of this book for friends and recommend it without reservation.
If you are looking for helping yourself with emotion or relationship problems, this will be a good book for you.
If you are already a christian and would like to understand more of how the Bible provides a basis for your earthly growth, this is an excellent source of material.
You might also want to look at the author's other titles on Boundaries or Growth. I've read three of his books and found them helpful.