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Changing Your Game: A Man's Guide to Success with Women Paperback – March 17, 2012
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Top Customer Reviews
"Changing Your Game" is a dating book for men who are grown-ups.
Dr. Hartman, a psychologist, a dating coach and an author specializing in research based dating advice has written a dating book for men where you will not find two things. You will not find a cookbook of silly tricks for manipulating women. You will also not find an endless list of dating rules that offend your intelligence and that are out of touch with modern life.
Dr. Hartman starts the book, powerfully, with where success in dating also starts: with attitude. The advice is to work yourself into the habit of being a "problem solver" versus a "complainer". When faced with an issue, stew about it less, find ways to fix it more, and find ways to be happy while working on it. This can have a profound effect on your dating life.
People like being around people who solve problems. It is both inspiring and entertaining to watch it happen. It builds their confidence in you as a person and with women it can ignite a spark of attraction.
The second way Dr. Hartman suggests that the reader improve his attitude is to lose his baggage. All feelings come to an end. When you are feeling hurt, feeling resentful, feeling mad, watch it happen and watch the feelings come to a natural end. That is it! No psychobabble. Just shower, rinse and repeat while your baggage melts away making you a more attractive, motivated person to be around.Read more ›
The things I really liked about this book are the following:
*Great organization. This book is clear and organized. It is easy to follow and I don't end up feeling lost wondering where she is going with what she is saying. This book was very easy to understand. You can definitely tell it was written by someone with a PhD.
*After reading this book, I have felt so much more confident and comfortable talking to women. This is because the way she explained attraction makes complete sense. I wont spoil it for you, but thanks to this book I realized that my previous relationships didn't work out not because I wasn't a Calvin Klein model, or not because I am not outgoing or funny. Rather, I realized that my previous relationships didn't work out because I'm just not compatable with certain women. Knowing this has also made me more aware of the women whom I associate with so I can better decide if a certain girl would really work out for me.
Honestly, this part of the book in itself has really helped me come to peace with even the previous relationship I was in that didn't work out.
*The other topics like about attitude and the different types of relationships people are looking for make so much more sense than the ridiculous tactics Doc Love, Wing Girl Kim, or other PUAs mention. It not only makes a lot more sense, but it isn't as complex to understand neither.Read more ›
Changing your game starts off by getting you out of the "complainer" mindset. While I feel I have a fairly positive outlook on life, I found that I had not adequately defined what I'm looking for in terms of a relationship. Dr Hartman talks about everything from NSA relationships to long term commitment. The book also helped me understand what elements of compatibility were important to me. I found the chapters on online dating especially helpful. Dr Hartman recommends casting a broad net online instead of narrowly searching for the perfect blonde. She also gives dozens of helpful pointers on developing a decent profile and initiating conversations through dating sites. The book gives lots of practical tips on conversation starters on those first "meet & greet" dates, as well as good lists of what NOT to do on a date (I found I had broken many of those guidelines already).
After being "off the market" for more than 20 years, I needed a book that would help me get my mind around meeting ladies in 2012. This book is written by an intelligent woman and will challenge you to think about women and dating in a new, better way.
Well, not so fast. To begin with, that may or may not be your objective. And, even if it is, being advised to act like an "alpha male" makes a silly (and dubious) cartoon of the whole undertaking.
Most fundamentally, success at anything entails knowing what you're doing and why.
Dr. Hartman begins "CYG" by pointing this out: trouble can arise in trying to initiate a relationship when the end in view isn't well defined; and when it comes to "success" with women, the first question is: what sort of relationship, exactly, are you looking for? What complicates the issue further, of course, is that relationships aren't just about what you want, but, equally, about what she wants. So if you don't understand, in broad terms, what women are looking for in men, you're already in trouble.
Other reviewers have already pointed out that there's lots of practical and sensible advice here concerning the whole spectrum of relevant topics, and that's certainly true. It has also been pointed out that this is also research-based advice, and that's true, too (and a refreshing change of pace). What I myself found the most helpful, though, was a better understanding of women, and what women find attractive in men. Other books like "Men Are From Mars . . ." cover this territory, to some extent, anyway, but not with the specific end in view of better understanding how to initiate a relationship.
So, if you really want to "Change Your Game," in the direction of knowing what you're doing, why you're doing it, and how best to go about it, here's your book.
Most Recent Customer Reviews
Not really what it said it was going to be. Unhappy with the book over allPublished 15 months ago by Christopher CJ Johnson
I keep this book in mind every time I look to get to know a woman or meet on and its been paying off :) thank you Christie Hartman :) you are teaching me what I was never thought... Read morePublished 17 months ago by jordan jackson
Excellent book for single men that provides very interesting insights into the male and female psyche, especially pertaining to a dating relationship. Read morePublished 17 months ago by ColoradoReview