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From Charm to Harm: And Everything Else in Between With a Narcissist (Narcissistic Abuse and Recovery) Paperback – March 1, 2016
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Frequently bought together
- Publisher : CreateSpace Independent Publishing Platform; 1st edition (March 1, 2016)
- Language : English
- Paperback : 286 pages
- ISBN-10 : 1523820179
- ISBN-13 : 978-1523820177
- Item Weight : 13.6 ounces
- Dimensions : 6 x 0.65 x 9 inches
- Customer Reviews:
Top reviews from the United States
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I recommend From Charm to Harm if you are looking for a better understanding the similar (sadly) aspects and effects of being in a romantic relationship with someone that you thought loved you, but ended up, in Zaffuto’s words, psychologically raping you. I have never heard the previous phrase, but it resonated with my experience of being involved with a classic Narcissist; Psychological/Mind Rape.
From Charm to Harm is more an informal conversation you wish you could have with your family and friends, about your experience, than a clinical textbook about Narcissist Personality Disorders. People that have not experienced Narcissistic abuse will NEVER understand. Zaffuto’s book helps validate and articulate the experience.
Zaffuto points out that the wounds from the abuse is deeply rooted in the subconscious and is not something one can just “get over it and move on” like friends and family suggest, leaving the victim feeling more isolated and confused. We function, but not as we once did before we got tangled up with these monsters. Friends do not understand victims need to keep repeating things over and over to “purge” the abuse outward. Reading and reading that it was not me (which blaming and projecting are one of their favorite torture tools) that caused the abuse to happen, these people have deep mental health issues that can never be fixed, because they are FINE with using and abusing people, other’s exist only as objects to serve their needs, OUCH!
“Narcissists break people with emotional, psychological and verbal beatings because they are just that sadistic.”
Gregory Zaffuto’s writing is spot on addressing the experience and the TRAUMA associated with Narcissistic abuse. I highly recommend it if you are trying to understand the truth and recover your soul from the experience of being targeted by one of these creatures
Top reviews from other countries
Both authors have a roughness to their writing - plenty of swear words in Ballard's case and an overdose of capitalised words in Zaffuto's text - as if he is shouting at the reader. Zaffuto incorporates the usual manipulative tactics: gaslighting, projecting, triangulation, idealize-devalue-discard, silent treatment, smear campaign, raging and acting out, etc., etc. into a text that is extremely repetitive and angry.
One key weakness of the book is how little advice is included about how to deal with a narcissistic partner. Zaffuto's prescription can be summarised as 1) go slowly into the relationship 2) set strong boundaries when you are in the relationship and 3) have zero contact when you come out. There is very little explanation beyond these headlines. If you want a less venomous text with more instruction, read Morningstar's "Out of the Fog" or Mirza's "The Covert Passive Aggressive Narcissist".