Cheap Sex: The Transformation of Men, Marriage, and Monogamy 1st Edition, Kindle Edition
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- Length: 274 pages
- Word Wise: Enabled
- Enhanced Typesetting: Enabled
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"In this groundbreaking book, Dr Regnerus draws on several large, population based surveys to provide a representative overview of what Americans think and do with regard to sexual relationships, supplemented by stories from in-depth interviews with100 young adults aged 24-32 conducted by his
research team." -- The Family Education Trust Bulletin Issue 170
"This book has the same message as George Gilder's Men and Marriage which came out a couple of decades back... Is this book unduly pessimistic? No, it is quite realistic...and a much needed wake-up call." -- Dr Pravin Thevathasan, Catholic Medical Quarterly
"A magisterial study of the changing sexual landscape today, which gives special attention to the impact of the digital revolution on sexual behaviour and relationships. Will become a standard work of reference in the field."
-- Anthony Giddens, author of The Transformation of Intimacy: Sexuality, Love, and Eroticism in Modern Societies
"Mark Regnerus has been a pioneer in the study of how sexuality is changing in modern society. This book is an utterly fascinating, sometimes disturbing, occasionally provocative, brilliantly thoughtful, and always informative account of what he has learned about sex in America in the 21st century.
It offers a wealth of insights about changes in how love relates to sex and friendship, in how people form and change their sexual self-concepts, and in the directions of sexual trends. This is an indispensable read for anyone wishing to understand the sex lives of today's adults, as well as how the
rapid changes in sexuality reverberate through the complex negotiation of romantic relationships."
-- Roy F. Baumeister, co-author of Willpower: Rediscovering the Greatest Human Strength
"Mark Regnerus shows us that when sexual access is plentiful and requires little effort, then sex is cheap--easy to get and not a big deal. The shift from expensive sex to cheap sex was ignited by the pill, fueled by the internet and dating sites and the ready availability of high-quality
pornography. The consequences of cheap sex are profound and complex, and not all positive. Regnerus has a breezy, likable way of telling this fascinating and engaging story. A great read."
-- Linda Waite, Lucy Flower Professor in Urban Sociology, University of Chicago
"Too many young men in America are checked out from work, family, and community. Why are so many of our young men floundering? In this provocative new book, Cheap Sex, Mark Regnerus argues that the availability of low-cost sex and the decline of marriage have made it harder for young men to embrace
adult responsibilities. Everyone concerned about the plight of young men in America should wrestle with the arguments in this important book." -- W. Bradford Wilcox, Director, National Marriage Project, University of Virginia
--This text refers to the hardcover edition.
About the Author
Mike Chamberlain is an actor and voice-over performer in Los Angeles. His voice credits range from radio commercials and television narration to animation and video game characters.--This text refers to the audioCD edition.
- ASIN : B0744MPYY5
- Publisher : Oxford University Press; 1st edition (August 2, 2017)
- Publication date : August 2, 2017
- Language : English
- File size : 1322 KB
- Text-to-Speech : Enabled
- Enhanced typesetting : Enabled
- X-Ray : Not Enabled
- Word Wise : Enabled
- Print length : 274 pages
- Lending : Enabled
- Best Sellers Rank: #258,371 in Kindle Store (See Top 100 in Kindle Store)
- Customer Reviews:
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Men and women are not the same with regard to sex. This has proven to be true in study after study, much as contemporary ideas about equality want to deny it. In general, men have more desire for sex than women. Women desire sex too, but they also want it with love, attention, care and, if they are smart, permanence. Women are the gatekeepers of sex, and even if they don't want to give it away cheaply, men now expect it and can go elsewhere if a woman does not put out. In other words, if women want male attention, they have to give sex away cheaply because other women do and men won't hang around if they don't. It's a vicious circle which leads to untold numbers of young people who have failed relationship after failed
relationship--called confluent love in the book--that never lead to the kind of permanence that both men and women want, but that has been destroyed by ready access to sex and porn. The age at marriage rises higher and higher, the number of people who will marry in their lifetime (though most want to marry) shrinks lower and lower, and people don't understand what is wrong, It's a horrible situation for women and children especially, but for men too because they too are happier when they are married and faithful.
I'm 61 and have been happily married for 41 years. Even though sex was becoming cheap when we met and courted, in our community it was greatly discouraged and we both knew that wasn't what we wanted. What fun it was to be wooed and won by my husband, who has since been faithful, a great provider and a fabulous father to our 5 children. If people want permanent love and strong intact families, this is the best way to get there. Regnerus amply shows that cheap sex makes such happy endings very difficult and precarious. Unfortunately, all unmarried people are part of the market that demands cheap sex whether they want to be or not. Can this be changed? Change in this realm is very difficult because it requires understanding the problem, the cooperation of all women together, and basic social mores that force men to pay the price for love.
Interestingly, this book is about the marriage market and the role sex plays in it, not so much about the spiritual and relational joys of marriage, but ultimately it is about these too, because cheap sex more often than not destroys the possibility of these higher and deeply satisfying goods. In its place, sex is an important glue that holds marriage together, produces children and gives the couple something wonderful they can share. Wrongly used, it kills romance, family and everything it touches.
What if that thing is sex?
What happens if the cheaper sex alternatives compete with the desire and perceived need to get married?
Mark Regnerus sets out to answer these questions in his book Cheap Sex. Professor Regnerus discusses the issue thoroughly with both survey evidence and interviews with young people caught up in this new sexual marketplace.
Ultimately, the answer to these questions is that we really don't know what will happen. Regnerus remains optimistic that our society will go on and that we'll adapt to these new realities.
I've read some critical reviews of this book. I'd like to mention two things vis-a-vis the critics: First Professor Regnerus announces his bias at the beginning of the book. Everybody is biased. It is nice to know where the author stands so we can shade our opinions of what he says accordingly. We can never be without bias.
Second, Professor Regnerus offers a number of predictions of how the trends he addresses will play out in future. These predictions give the book a certain immunity from criticism: if you want to prove Regnerus wrong, you don't have to opine, to cite evidence or to come up with witty rejoinders. All you have to do is wait. And you'll see if he was right or wrong.
I have a sneaking suspicion that somebody who thought as deeply on these issues is going to be more right than wrong.
I'd also like to draw your attention to a sentence on page 62 of the book. "In truth, I was wrong about Tinder (though nobody knew it because I never publicly wrote about it)."
He then goes on to explain the nature of his incorrect prediction. I hope you see what's happening here. Prof. Regnerus is admitting a mistake. But he's not just doing that. He's GRATUITOUSLY admitting a mistake. Nobody could possibly have caught him in that error, because his error was never published. Yet he wants the reader to know how his previous thinking was wrong, and how the facts have corrected that mistake. Everybody is wrong all the time. Only the best of us admit it. That admission (along with the many times the author tells you he's guessing because the facts we have at hand are incomplete) lends more credibility to this book than anything else. His intellectual humility is to be imitated.
But the author put a lot of time and effort in his book to validate his premises. Yes. It was redundant to the point of boredom for me.
But this may not be so for other readers, who enjoy this genre.
Take for example his sharpest critics - the One Star reviewers. They are the reason I downloaded it in the first place. They hate the book. But boy, they sure read it - from beginning to end.
One of the components of effective writing is if the author can evoke (or provoke) a response. Well he did with his haters. So he is an effective writer. And I read it because he got his critics so upset.
I did take from this book the surprising realization that the old ways are gone, forever.
Women have a very dangerous competitor in the form of high quality, digital porn, and a lot of guys prefer it these days over the real thing.
I never really thought about that, but the author cites credible sources to the point of making me yawn.
I gave this a Five Star because the author sure as hell worked on this book. His grammar & punctuation is spot on as is his paragraph construction.