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Children of Paradise: Successful Parenting for Prosperous Familes Hardcover – September 1, 1990
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From Publishers Weekly
A psychologist from the Beverly Hills, Calif., school system addresses a unique constituency in this parenting guide, offering advice for "avoiding the pitfalls and challenges frequently encountered in affluent families." Drawing on her experience with wealthy parents and their children, Hausner isolates fundamental causes of problems, such as unrealistic expectations, lack of communication and misuse or lack of discipline, that apply especially to the nurturance and development of privileged children. Writing of the two-career family, often characterized by high parental achievement, the author proposes nine steps to effective parenting of this new "at risk" group of children. For busy, well-off parents who may need assistance putting their priorities in order, this is a helpful, practical if unsurprising and somewhat pedantic resource.
Copyright 1990 Reed Business Information, Inc.
Top Customer Reviews
My husband and I, parents of three children (ages 7, 6, and 2) attended one of Dr. Hausner's speaking engagements in Coral Gables, Florida, and we were impressed by both her relaxed yet captivating speaking style as well as the content of what she had to say (definately (...) material). We were each given a copy of Children of Paradise, and I set to reading it right away. I am now on amazon to order 5 copies to pass along to my close parenting friends regardless of their income level. I plan to keep my highlighted, marked-up copy by my nightstand for easy reference for a long time. While the book contains some insightful strategies for wealthy families in handling inheritance and trusts - issues that are not present in most families in America - this book also provides some of the best parenting advice I have read regarding effective communication with your children, consistent discipline, and issues of control. In Children of Paradise, Dr. Hausner - without blame - discusses character traits of successful, "type A" personality parents and how these traits which have made them successful in their careers do not translate into successful parenting, but rather, can result in lowering a child's self esteem and motivation. I would argue that the same qualities can be found in parents of any income level coping with the competition and stress of daily life with children and careers during a time when we tend to demand perfection of ourselves and others. Dr. Hausner offers specific examples and techniques to improve how parents speak with and listen to their children - at any age - including teenagers. I have started to change the way I communicate with my children and I see results. In appropriate situations, I have stopped imposing strict punishments to control their behavior in favor of allowing my children to experience the natural consequences of their own failure to do what they need to do. (Not when it involves personal safety - obviously.) I am trying to stop telling them what to do most of the time (or just doing it for them) in the interest of expediency. I already see how my children are becoming more responsible with these changes and more confident. In short, this is a terrific book for any educated parent - career or stay at home, middle or upper class. I cannot recommend it highly enough.
I'm been on the inheriting side of the table, I'm a financial planner for very affluent and now raising four kids through the battle for entitlement and affluence. This book has some practical suggestions, very challenging questions and a clear understanding of the problem with affluence.
Dr. Hausner was a psychologist in Beverly Hills and is now an advisor, I believe, with a Trust company. So she speaks as with experience.
Here is an example of her style of practical questions that push to be in your face a little. Page 115, "...One of the things I often ask parents to do is to write down five special thing about each child in their family. ...Take a moment now... If you have trouble with this exercise, you probably aren't celebrating the uniqueness of each of your children..." That is challenging but worded in a kind way, right?