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Choice Theory: A New Psychology of Personal Freedom Kindle Edition
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Instead, Dr. Glasser puts a square focus on the power of choice; breaking free of the external control of others (through what he refers to as "choice therapy"), and the unhealthy domino effect that it has in every dimension of life. The result? You are forced to own your behaviors and their consequences, while exercising personal freedom.
Central to the theme of choice, is the concept of a "quality world" which he constantly refers to.
The quality world is predicated upon people (we most want to be with), things (we most want to own or experience), and beliefs (which govern our behavior).
Each of us, from the time we are born, formulate some idea of what a quality world is, and unconsciously base our state of happiness upon it - whether it's attainable or not. Our happiness then, is contingent upon how closely reality resembles this mental idea that we unknowingly carry with us.
Our parents are the first people in our quality worlds. Our attachments to them, and their efficiency in satisfying our many needs and demands as an infant establishes a precedent. Much of what we experience in childhood helps to create the pictures and template for our quality worlds as we get older.
But it changes. The people change. The things change. And often the beliefs change. When they do, a new template is created upon which your idea of happiness must mirror your tangible reality. The closer the fit, the greater the happiness.
His ability to correlate the nuances and dynamics of the Quality World concept into every area of life - including education, is brilliant. The perspective and curriculum in his schools that promote the use of knowledge, versus merely being schooled, is innovative. Helping students to incorporate teachers into their quality worlds is logical, and apparently VERY effective.
Many of the people I've had conversations with about this "Quality World" concept immediately identify with it and are able to better understand the disenchantment with their work, spouse, friends, and lives in general.
Choice Theory is a MUST have for psych students, fans, and future therapists. It will easily distinguish itself from other books in your collection, and provide you with tools that you can access and use immediately.
Firstly, I was eager to know what is choice theory. But the author kept me waiting for about three chapters, with only a hint of it. Instead he described how the theory is good and everyone should learn it, even before describing the theory. It was like a waiter in a restaurant kept explaining how tonight's special would taste good, but would not bring out the dish. Let me taste first and decide if it is good or not! It should be my choice to like it or not.
Secondly, the concept of external control as opposed to choice theory and the examples are sort of too simple to be realistic. I am an engineer and have never been a teacher. But I think few teachers or parents believed punishing children would make them behave or work hard, even in 90's. They were unhappy because they knew it would not work but forced to do so anyway.
Then when I read about the abused lady who was not trying to control anybody, it occurred to me that the concept contrary to choice theory is rather victim-of-circumstance than external control. So I replaced the term "external control" with "circumstance controlled" as I read on, and everything fell into place, at least for me. I hope now I can deal with unhappiness other than human relations such as natural disaster, accident, or disease with choice theory.
I agree with choice theory and would use it solely for my happiness. I would not blame who would not agree or use it. It is their choice.
Only after this mind-set do I begin interaction. When I have been able to keep this focus the interpersonal results have been wonderful. Business tasks are quickly and very efficiently completed. My wife and I smile at each other when we make a decision. Trust, love, and respect continue to build as this mind-set is practiced again and again.
I am astounded at the technological advances man has made. Using the knowledge in this book gives man a chance of getting out of our psychological stone-age. BUT if you will NOT allow yourself to be vulnerable do not waste your time with this book.
I would recommend it to everybody who is unhappy in any current relationship (family, partner, work).(less)
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