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Choice Theory: A New Psychology of Personal Freedom Paperback – January 6, 1999
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Southern California psychiatrist William Glasser, the author of Reality Therapy, believes that almost all human misery is caused by people trying to control others. In fact, he says, the only behavior we can control is our own; by the same token, no one can make us do anything we don't want to. It's only when we give up spending our energy trying to force others to conform to our ideas or to keep them from doing the same to us that we are able to live the way we want to. Glasser makes this somewhat difficult material easier to understand with examples and case studies from his own practice. For instance, he tells a man whose wife has left him that his only choices are to change what he wants her to do or to change the way he is dealing with her. While doing these things will not necessarily bring his wife back, Glasser says, it will certainly make him feel better. "When we actually begin to realize that we can control only our own behavior, we immediately start to redefine our personal freedom and find, in many instances, that we have much more freedom than we realize," Glasser writes. --This text refers to an out of print or unavailable edition of this title.
Glasser has worked with choice theory for half of his 40 years of psychiatric practice. Basically, choice theory helps its users avoid confrontation and ask pertinent questions. It sees conscious or unconscious desire for external control as the main problem in the four major personal relationships: husband-wife, parent-child, teacher-student, and manager-worker. If you think you can control others, it counsels, you are in for trouble, for the only person you can control is yourself. So all personal problems are both present problems and relationship problems. Glasser urges anyone in a relationship to ask, before taking a step, whether that step will keep the two related persons at least as close together as they are now; if it will, it may be worth taking. Combining choice theory and reality therapy in his practice, Glasser has been able to shorten the durations of his treatment programs substantially. As he presents them here, his theories and approaches can be applied in education and business as well as for self-help. William Beatty --This text refers to an out of print or unavailable edition of this title.
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Top Customer Reviews
Allow me to give you the good parts: 1 only you can choose what you do, trying to coerce others or trying to please others is a waste of time and effort, and you'll get frustrated. 2 everyone has secret stats the way mario kart characters have stats. Learn your stats and try to match yours up with your sig other. stats are: power, fun, freedom, belonging, And love. 3 people have a vision of what they want in their life, if you want them to do something not in that perception, forget it. If you want them to discard something in that vision, forget it. 4 depression is a choice you subconsciously make when reality is at conflict with your vision. So is arthritis and chronic back pain (yes, he does say that).
I have had my copy for over three years and have read it at least twice each year. It is my scientific companion to other writings that have helped make my life and relationships better.