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Chomp, Chomp, Chomp: How I Survived a Bear Attack and Other Cautionary Tales by [Hansen, Allena]
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Chomp, Chomp, Chomp: How I Survived a Bear Attack and Other Cautionary Tales Kindle Edition

4.5 out of 5 stars 65 customer reviews

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Length: 342 pages Word Wise: Enabled Enhanced Typesetting: Enabled
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Editorial Reviews

About the Author

Bon vivant and social pariah, ALLENA HANSEN came to national attention when she had the bad judgment to get mauled by a bear, fight it off, and drive herself down a mountain for help on a slow news day. In the ensuing media storm she was featured on ABC, Inside Edition, The Doctors, Pet Heroes, The Bonnie Hunt Show, People, Oprah’s O, and too many tabloids, blogs, and podcasts to count, until achieving meme status in the all time top ten Ask Me Anything on reddit. com—just below but not beneath Barack Obama, Bill Gates, and Neil DeGrasse Tyson. She lives on a ranch in California’s Southern Sierras with her horses, her hero dogs, and her literary pretentions.

Product Details

  • File Size: 3439 KB
  • Print Length: 342 pages
  • Publisher: Wise Ink Creative Publishing; 2 edition (October 12, 2012)
  • Publication Date: October 12, 2012
  • Sold by: Amazon Digital Services LLC
  • Language: English
  • ASIN: B009PXTGHG
  • Text-to-Speech: Enabled
  • X-Ray:
  • Word Wise: Enabled
  • Lending: Enabled
  • Enhanced Typesetting: Enabled
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #285,214 Paid in Kindle Store (See Top 100 Paid in Kindle Store)
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Customer Reviews

Top Customer Reviews

Format: Kindle Edition Verified Purchase
You would never think a bear mauling could be in any way funny until reading Chomp Chomp Chomp. This book really takes it out of you. It is remarkable how much Allena has gone through in her life and kept on ticking. One thing after another hits her, and yet she still keeps a sense of humor about it.

This book is heavy. But it's page turning-required reading for anyone who feels the weight of the world on their shoulders and needs to see someone go through relatable, if not far more absurd, trials and come out with a medically replaced smile on their face.
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Format: Kindle Edition Verified Purchase
I knew Allena in high school and reconnected five years ago at a high school reunion after 40 year of not seeing her. In the last five years we traded emails feel a lasting friendship.

In high school she was very spunky and reading her book tells me she is more so as an adult. I knew of many of the things she talked about 45+ years ago and I have been tracking the last five. This book is a page turner I LOVED!
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Format: Kindle Edition
The bear attack - two slices of bread with a generously meaty interior.

What energy! What fortitude!

After decades of more adventuresome encounters than most, the author hasn’t slowed down.

I met author Allena Hansen at breakfast during IBPA’s PubU 2015 in Austin. Her book, Chomp Chomp Chomp won first place Benjamin Franklin Award and as an IBPA Board Member and a fellow author-publisher, I wanted to congratulate her. Soon we were sitting talking shop—how to leverage the prestige of this award in reaching a wider audience.

My review is based on the hardcover edition--her gift to me of a signed copy following our meeting.

She came of age during the 60s. At a half-dozen years younger than Allena, I enjoyed the rock and roll, and steered clear of the other two. Perhaps it was my upbringing by two immigrant parents who survived the Armenian Genocide, sacrificed to earn a piece of their American Dream, and wanted the best for their children. Perhaps it was that fear of how I’d explain it to them if I came home with VD, the clap, or herpes. And the drugs? Ya’ didn’t know whether you flying high, flying fast, or sitting still while the world revolved around you! And the pot smoke at rock concerts made me sick. Nope, not for me.

We each have our strengths and weaknesses. Allena was an adventurous spirit during these coming of age years, and despite how smart and put-together or self-controlled she appeared, the fabric of her life was pulled every which way by the threads of diverse people also trying to make their way in the world.
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It's obvious from the beginning to the end of this book that Allena Hansen is a cut above the rest when it comes to writing. She is intellectual, humorous, and an amazing survivor. If you pick this one up expecting the entire book to be about her encounter with a bear, think again. This is about Ms. Hansen's life and an incredible one at that. Throughout her years, she experiences frightening events that most of us would never survive in whole or in part. However, Allena always seems to pick herself back up and goes onward with a positive spirit and a dash of realistic humor. If I had anything to add, I would have liked more details about what happened to "Andrew". I hope he went to prison for his actions. There are a few editing errors, but it doesn't take away from the story. Allena does an amazing job of raising her son to be like herself. Fearless.
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This book chronicled the life and experiences of a woman, who despite many "harrowing" experiences, always seemed to land on her feet. The book is part coming-of-age, part survivor, and part cautionary tale. This book is gritty and uncomfortable at times with a thread of humor woven throughout, if you can imagine that. Ms. Hansen is a very talented writer and although I really questioned her judgment and decisions at times, I did not want to put it down! Having read this book a month ago, I am STILL thinking about it which, for me, is a true mark of a good read. It is safe to say that this book has a little something for everyone and you won't be disappointed if you read it.
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As I finished this wonderful book, I took a look around at the quiet beauty of my modest life and paid some attention to the feeling in my lips and face. Or more precisely, the lack of feeling; everything is just where it should be, doing its thing without much fuss. That is something that Ms. Hansen missed after the “Ursadent,” as her son cleverly termed the bear attack she went through after a lifetime of other dramatic events.

And yet I have the feeling that she would have sat there with me on the deck and smiled at my observing this (probably more naturally and less painfully than it was to do so during her immediate recovery from the attack) and said, “Yes, it’s a beautiful world. Enjoy it. Hell, I still do.” Ms. Hansen is a brilliant writer, witty and vivid and engaging. I read chapter after chapter about her adventures from childhood on, wondering when the bear attack would finally happen but not feeling impatient for it at all. There was just so much going on, as she met people and slept with quite a few of them and tiptoed past the minefields they left behind in her life. She has had an amazing life well lived, and I very much enjoyed sitting with her for a few hours and reading about it.
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