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Choose Resilience: Break Out of Your Comfort Zone Using the Power of Emotional Intelligence Kindle Edition
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Healthcare professionals often lack a comfort zone as a result of the progression of some diseases. The principals described in this book will be a valuable guide while dealing with the difficult outcomes in patient care. To better understand your emotions, your strengths, and weaknesses, coupled with the ability to understand the emotions of others and bridge the gap between these will provide the healthcare professional with a stronger foundation for their work lives.
I found the book to be thought-provoking and helpful in finding different ways to look at things in my life, and more importantly, ways to being to make those the necessary changes. I hope that you will find time to read this short book and that it is helpful to you in overcoming some challenges in your life.
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In her previous book, EGO vs. EQ, Jen Shirkani suggests that the nature and extent of an executive's emotional intelligence (EQ) will probably determine the nature and extent of her or his effectiveness as a leader and manager. She shares this explanation by Daniel Goleman that EQ is "the capacity for recognizing our own feelings and those of others, for motivating ourselves, for managing emotions well in ourselves and in our relationships."
She focuses on eight traps and explains how to avoid or overcome them. All are directly or indirectly the result of what I would characterize as an unhealthy ego, one that is essentially narcissistic in nature, and one with an insatiable appetite for attention, adoration, and approval.
All of us have a comfort zone. Of course, its nature and extent vary…sometimes significantly…especially these when the world seems more volatile, more uncertain, more complex, and more ambiguous than at any prior time that I recall.
Shirkani observes that during interactions at work and elsewhere, “I rely on EQ daily. It helps me recognize my emotional state and reactions, read my audience and the environment I am in, and respond in ways that meet the needs if the people I am with or what the situation calls for, to get the best results from the interaction. Most of the time it works, and when it doesn’t, I can usually think back and see how I might have been my own worst enemy.”
It really helps to be guided and informed by these three key elements of EQ:
1. “Recognizing yourself: EQ involves high self-awareness about your strengths and weaknesses. It means you know your personality style, your communication style, and your conflict style.”
2. "Reading others: With EQ, you can pay better attention to others and your environment. The golden rule is ‘Treat others the way you want to be treated’ — but the EQ rule is ’Treat others the way [begin italics] they [end italics] want to be treated.”
3. “Responding appropriately: Instead of allowing your preferred approach to dictate your behavior, you can use self-control and make temporary adjustments that are usually uncomfortable but more effective.”
Jen Shirkani thoroughly examines each of these three key elements throughout her lively and eloquent narrative. With all due respect to the substantial value of a comfort zone, however, as already suggested, we cannot remain here indefinitely. This is what she has in mind when observing, “Resilience is the key to overcoming unexpected difficulties and recovering faster, while growing stronger with each challenge life throws your way. When you push yourself out of your comfort zone, you build your endurance, confidence, and a sense of accomplishment.” Quite true.
Comfort zones can serve several valuable purposes so long as the zone does not become a prison cell and then a mausoleum. I rely on my own comfort zone to re-energize my resources (mental, physical. emotional, and psychological) as well as to reflect on what awaits me when I leave that zone.
Once embarked on re-engagement in a VUCA world, the Most Model (See Chapters 3) can help to accelerate personal growth and professional development by relying on its four pillars: self-Motivation, Optimism, and Stress Tolerance. EQ provides the “secret sauce” to success.
I presume to add one final point. This book is a “must read” for executives who have supervisory responsibilities. One of their most important responsibilities is to master the power of EQ, of course, but then do everything they can to accelerate that same process of personal growth and professional development for the direct reports entrusted to their care.
Jen’s EQ teachings were critical for me to utilize over this past year. I have had several challenges and every time I met someone that learns about what I have had to overcome, they ask me “How do you still have a smile on”. I truly believe it is because of Jen’s EQ coaching and helping me understand the “three R’s”, the Quadrant Model of Engagement and the MOST Model. These all helped me to push through each situation and allowed me to end up in a better place; when at the beginning I was thinking it was pretty bleak and overwhelming. Now with Jen’s methodologies in black and white, I can carry it around with me and reference it to be sure I am moving forward, and not backwards when faced with a challenge. I am not a religious person, but I do think of it like my bible.
Her methodologies are so simple that I am instilling them in my children that have their own personal challenges in dealing with severe learning disabilities. Ironically, everybody that meets them, the one word that comes to mind for them is the word “RESILIENT”. I have to agree.
I learned many new skills that will help me in my current struggles, but also going forward. I will definitely be using this as a reference point when other challenges arise.
I highly recommend this book to anyone who wants to be happy and comfortable in life, but who also want to move out of their comfort zone, because there is so much more opportunity once we move outside of our comfort zone.