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Choosing Marriage: Why It Has to Start with We>Me Paperback – May 1, 2018
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The Amazon Book Review
Author interviews, book reviews, editors picks, and more. Read it now
-- Shaunti Feldhahn, social researcher and best-selling author of For Women Only and The Surprising Secrets of Highly Happy Marriages
"No matter what season of marriage you are in, Choosing Marriage will offer encouragement and hope to find even more satisfaction in your relationship. Debra's counseling experience and biblical knowledge are woven together with some great stories and practical advice to help every couple learn how to experience a richer, more meaningful life together."
-- John Fuller, Focus on the Family
"Choosing Marriage is the kind of book that you will underline, highlight, dog-ear, re-read, and then subtly leave open on your spouse's side of the bed for them to (hopefully) pick up and read, forcing you to purchase clean copies for your family and friends. When we were seeking an author/speaker/expert for a large event on marriage and relationships in California we chose Debra Fileta, and the attenders loved her. When college students and young adults seek dating and relationship advice, we gift them with a copy of True Love Dates. And now, whenever we counsel those seeking insight and advice on marriage, we plan to give them Choosing Marriage. It is an engaging, insightful and professional look into the most intimate of all of our relationships--our marriages--that is based on Debra's clinical expertise, sound research and her own personal journey. For those of you who seek to choose marriage--who desire authentic intimacy, biblical insights, and practical ways to grow your marriage--you are holding the best book you can find in your hands. Please wait to highlight or dog-ear it after you purchase it."
"Put this book at the top of your reading list and buy one for a friend! My bride and I really enjoyed reading Choosing Marriage together. We were inspired and challenged to have a healthier relationship and given practical advice on how to do it. It's evident that Debra is not only a much sought after national speaker, but also a highly skilled author."
-- Chris Reed, Pastor to 20s/30s & Singles at Saddleback Church, Lake Forest, CA
About the Author
She's the creator of TrueLoveDates.com, reaching millions of people with the message that healthy people make healthy relationships! You may also recognize her voice from her 200+ articles at Relevant Magazine, Crosswalk.com, and all across the web! Connect with her on Facebook or Twitter!
Top customer reviews
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Many relationship books are about a couples' journey or their advice that worked for them, Debra is unique in that your are getting perspective from a licensed counselor and relationship expert who has worked with countless clients! Her wisdom shines through and her approach to a number of subjects are so unique, refreshing, and inspiring. She does a masterful job of approaching relationships with her clinical wisdom, but rooted in her deep love for Jesus. I wish someone would have told or taught me countless things in this book years ago.
I loved reading her stories of couples and singles she worked with, many real-life examples made the book very connectable and authentic. My favorite chapters were Alter that Ego, From Pride to Humility (where you actually learn what a proper apology should look like in a relationship and the power of humility in a relationship); Sex Marks the Spot, From Infatuation to Adoration (amazing chapter about navigating sex and dealing with problem spots); and Walls Will Fall, From Vulnerability to Intimacy (
If you are single, READ this book to get a front row seat into what marriage will look like and more importantly the qualities you should be looking for in your future spouse!
if you are dating/engaged READ this book to learn more about your relationship, future areas and topics you need to discuss and more importantly how to handle them.
if you are married (whether for a year or 50 yrs) READ this book to transform your marriage, Debra will equip you with the tools to deal with issues you may be struggling with and even more how to identity them.
I walked away from this book so encouraged and filled with hope as I got a glimpse of what God's best in relationship should look like.
Her latest book is expertly written to include both singles and married couples in its intended audience. I have to admit that I was skeptical at first since I have experienced the feeling of exclusion in books and studies that are clearly for married people even if they claim otherwise. Choosing Marriage succeeds in going over and above my expectations. Debra’s focus on authenticity and personal stories is refreshing. Reading this book is like soaking up encouragement and advice from a best friend over a cup of coffee.
“Choosing to love someone is so much more meaningful than needing someone to love.”This quote is near the end of Choosing Marriage, but it stopped me in my tracks. Such a simple phrase—14 words that hold so much meaning.I needed that reminder, and I know I’m not the only person who is sometimes tempted to make relationship decisions out of the deep need and longing for companionship rather than from choices of what is right and healthy. And someday, when I do find someone, I hope with God’s help to be able to choose to love him every day—not from a desperate need but from a committed and daily choice.
As a single woman, I appreciate a book that shows marriage for what it is. Marriage is beautiful and but it is also hard work. I think my generation has been jaded from Holly wood, that you meet the "right" person, fall in love, have kids and everything is peachy. However, if your marriage is not how you dreamed it would be then, it's OK to fall out of love and move on to next pretty face that makes you happy. Debra does a good job of debunking this myth and helping singles and married couple clear out the cob webs of what society has taught us. "Marriage is a blessing, but it doesn't happen by chance. A good marriage comes from a decision of choices."
In her book, she will point you straight to Jesus and remind us that no one can fulfill us but Him. One of my favorite quotes (and I have many favorites)from the book is "Marriage can't fulfill us to overflowing, only Jesus can. If anything marriage reveals our emptiness. It can certainly add drops of water to our emotional bucket, but it can never fill us the way we need to be filled."
I highly recommend this book and also Debra's book True loves dates. I hope this book encourages you, just like it encouraged me to choose marriage.
Most recent customer reviews
I'm a 30 year old single women and hope that I will be married someday, Lord...Read more