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Cinderella Ate My Daughter: Dispatches from the Front Lines of the New Girlie-Girl Culture Paperback – January 31, 2012
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Peggy Orenstein, acclaimed author of the groundbreaking New York Times bestsellers Girls & Sex and Schoolgirls, offers a radical, timely wake-up call for parents, revealing the dark side of a pretty and pink culture confronting girls at every turn as they grow into adults.
Sweet and sassy or predatory and hardened, sexualized girlhood influences our daughters from infancy onward, telling them that how a girl looks matters more than who she is. Somewhere between the exhilarating rise of Girl Power in the 1990s and today, the pursuit of physical perfection has been recast as the source of female empowerment. And commercialization has spread the message faster and farther, reaching girls at ever-younger ages. But how dangerous is pink and pretty, anyway? Being a princess is just make-believe; eventually they grow out of it . . . or do they?In search of answers, Peggy Orenstein visited Disneyland, trolled American Girl Place, and met parents of beauty-pageant preschoolers tricked out like Vegas showgirls. The stakes turn out to be higher than she ever imagined. From premature sexualization to the risk of depression to rising rates of narcissism, the potential negative impact of this new girlie-girl culture is undeniable—yet armed with awareness and recognition, parents can effectively counterbalance its influence in their daughters' lives.
- Print length272 pages
- LanguageEnglish
- PublisherHarper Paperbacks
- Publication dateJanuary 31, 2012
- Dimensions0.8 x 5.2 x 7.8 inches
- ISBN-100061711535
- ISBN-13978-0061711534
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Editorial Reviews
Review
“Orenstein has played a defining role in giving voice to this generation of girls and women…. At times this book brings tears to your eyes—tears of frustration with today’s girl-culture and also of relief because somebody finally gets it—and is speaking out on behalf of our daughters.” — Judith Warner, author of Perfect Madness: Motherhood in the Age of Anxiety
“Reading Cinderella is like hanging out with a straight-talking, hilarious friend; taking a fascinating seminar on 21st century girlhood; and discovering a compendium of wise (but never preachy) advice on raising girls. A must-read for any parent trying to stay sane in a media saturated world.” — Rachel Simmons, author of Odd Girl Out and The Curse of the Good Girl
“I wish I’d had Peggy Orenstein’s thought-provoking, wise, and entertaining new book, Cinderella Ate My Daughter, to comfort me and to help me navigate the Pepto Bismol pink aisles of the toy store and the cotton candy pink channels of the TV dial. Every mother needs to read this.” — Ayelet Waldman, author of Bad Mother
“[Peggy Orenstein’s] addictively readable book manages, somehow, to be simultaneously warm and chilling” — Rebecca Traister, author of Big Girls Don't Cry: The Election that Changed Everything for American Women
From the Back Cover
The acclaimed author of the groundbreaking bestseller Schoolgirls reveals the dark side of pink and pretty: the rise of the girlie-girl, she warns, is not that innocent.
Sweet and sassy or predatory and hardened, sexualized girlhood influences our daughters from infancy onward, telling them that how a girl looks matters more than who she is. Somewhere between the exhilarating rise of Girl Power in the 1990s and today, the pursuit of physical perfection has been recast as the source of female empowerment. And commercialization has spread the message faster and farther, reaching girls at ever-younger ages. But how dangerous is pink and pretty, anyway? Being a princess is just make-believe; eventually they grow out of it . . . or do they?
In search of answers, Peggy Orenstein visited Disneyland, trolled American Girl Place, and met parents of beauty-pageant preschoolers tricked out like Vegas showgirls. The stakes turn out to be higher than she ever imagined. From premature sexualization to the risk of depression to rising rates of narcissism, the potential negative impact of this new girlie-girl culture is undeniable—yet armed with awareness and recognition, parents can effectively counterbalance its influence in their daughters' lives.
About the Author
Peggy Orenstein is the New York Times bestselling author of Boys & Sex, Don’t Call Me Princess, Girls & Sex, Cinderella Ate My Daughter, Waiting for Daisy, Flux, and Schoolgirls. A frequent contributor to the New York Times, she has written for the Washington Post, The Atlantic, Afar, The New Yorker, and other publications, and has contributed commentary to NPR’s All Things Considered and PBS NewsHour. She lives in Northern California.
Product details
- Publisher : Harper Paperbacks; Reprint edition (January 31, 2012)
- Language : English
- Paperback : 272 pages
- ISBN-10 : 0061711535
- ISBN-13 : 978-0061711534
- Item Weight : 2.31 pounds
- Dimensions : 0.8 x 5.2 x 7.8 inches
- Best Sellers Rank: #443,792 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)
- #891 in General Gender Studies
- #1,333 in Women in History
- #3,849 in Sociology Reference
- Customer Reviews:
About the author

Peggy Orenstein is the author of the New York Times best-sellers Boys & Sex, Girls & Sex, Cinderella Ate My Daughter and Waiting for Daisy as well as Unraveling, Don’t Call Me Princess, Flux, and the classic SchoolGirls. A frequent contributor to The New York Times and a contributing writer for AFAR, Peggy has also written for such publications as The Los Angeles Times, The Washington Post, New York, The Atlantic and The New Yorker, and has contributed commentaries to NPR’s All Things Considered and The PBS News Hour. She has been featured on, among other programs, Good Morning America, CBS This Morning, The Today Show, Morning Joe, and NPR’s Fresh Air. Her TED Talk, “What Young Women Believe About Their Own Sexual Pleasure,” has been viewed over six million times.
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Customers find the book insightful and interesting. They find it readable and entertaining, with humor and lighthearted writing. Many describe it as an illuminating look at modern society. However, some readers feel the author's style is neurotic and overly autobiographical, which can be exhausting.
AI-generated from the text of customer reviews
Customers find the book insightful, funny, and honest. They appreciate the thorough research and analysis of the topic. The book provides enlightening insights about princess culture. While some readers found it redundant, they appreciated the humor, first-person observations, and interviews with others.
"...It's got plenty of research behind it, and that research is referenced and cited within the text and more extensively in the lengthy "notes" section..." Read more
"...She poses a lot of interesting subjects surrounding this explosion of the pink princess culture for little girls and how that somehow morphs into an..." Read more
"...online marketing industries; offers well researched advice, and personal anecdotes on how to help guide them through these challenging times without..." Read more
"...One of the most interesting pieces in the book was the history of girls and pink. &#..." Read more
Customers find the book readable and enjoyable. They say it has a good take on where we are today and how women got there. The humor makes the book entertaining and informative. It has a broad appeal, with some finding it helpful to read bits and pieces to their husbands. Overall, customers describe the book as a quick read that brings up many valid concerns about the modern world.
"...But the tone is readable, conversational, and meant to illicit thought and discussion. It's a enjoyable, accessible read." Read more
"Part anecdotal, part research and a lot of humor makes this book very enjoyable and informative. I finished it in two days...." Read more
"...All in all, a decent fast paced read with a likable, believable, and familiar voice that mainstream moms, dads, teachers, and babysitters can relate..." Read more
"...The book is definitely worth a read with more in depth research on, as her chapter title says, "Wholesome to Whoresome: The Other Disney..." Read more
Customers find the book humorous and thought-provoking. They describe it as witty, honest, and lighthearted. The writing is fast-paced and engaging with a likable, familiar voice.
"...The book is also filled with plenty of funny or poignant moments the author shares with her young daughter...." Read more
"...All in all, a decent fast paced read with a likable, believable, and familiar voice that mainstream moms, dads, teachers, and babysitters can relate..." Read more
"...First off, I thought the writing was intelligent and engaging...." Read more
"...It's not a hysterical rant, and it also doesn't try to prescribe one-size-fits-all answers to the issues raised...." Read more
Customers enjoy the book's entertainment value.
"...It's a enjoyable, accessible read." Read more
"...Unlike many other well-researched books, this is always entertaining, never dry, and easy to digest, even if the subject matter is troubling...." Read more
"...neurotic, and it can be exhausting, but overall this is an entertaining book that gives you food for thought." Read more
"Highly readable and entertaining, an excellent look at what damage the "Pink Culture" is doing to girls (and boys) -- and later, women (and men)...." Read more
Customers enjoy the book's illuminating style. They find it engaging, with an in-depth look at why we are the way we are. The points are presented well and thought-out thoroughly.
"...Dresses are fun because they are bright, flowy and sparkly, not necessarily because she is a girl and that's what society expects her to wear...." Read more
"...Girls can be smart, kind, and also pretty. Their whole world should not be one big fairy tale." Read more
"...major/RN, grandmother of grand-daughters, I have found this book quite illuminating as I try to navigate my unsettled feelings about the 'princess'..." Read more
"Highly readable and entertaining, an excellent look at what damage the "Pink Culture" is doing to girls (and boys) -- and later, women (and men)...." Read more
Customers dislike the author's style. They find it neurotic and overly autobiographical, relying too much on anecdotes.
"...The book was a bit too autobiographical and relied heavily on anecdotes, where I would've liked to see more real data and studies, and practical..." Read more
"...The author is often extremely neurotic, and it can be exhausting, but overall this is an entertaining book that gives you food for thought." Read more
"...The author seems a little crazy at times, but it adds to the story and makes it worth it." Read more
Top reviews from the United States
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- Reviewed in the United States on February 25, 2011First, I'd like to talk for a moment about things this book is not:
It is not about fearing or completely banning princesses, pink, etc. from your child's life. It is not about stifling any expression of traditional femininity. It's not about judging or shaming parents for buying princess-related toys. It's also not purporting to solve all of the problems created by our current cultural climate for girls. There are some suggestions on how parents might navigate these issues, many of them from the experts Orenstein interviews or gleaned from her years of studies in this area. But the book does not offer any sweeping concrete solutions, that's not what it's about.
This book is, instead, an exploration of aspects of United States culture as they relate to girls and young women. It focuses specifically on how certain cultural concepts of femininity are aggressively and pervasively marketed to our kids. It also discusses how that plays out in real life - both the nuances of meaning in the messages being sent, and in how parents do and can respond to it. "Cinderella Ate My Daughter" will be an eye-opener for many people, and for that reason it is very important... but even if you feel you've been down this road before in some respects, I think it is still an important book.
Orenstein acknowledges the challenges parents face in combating influence this pervasive - if one is uncomfortable with the messages being sent to girls through marketing, media, and so on, what is there to do about it? What can you say yes to? How to deal with saying "no"? Where should parents draw the line, and what to make of their feelings of confusion or ambivalence about these issues? One anecdote in the book illustrates this well: Orenstein is in a department store with her daughter, trying to decide how to handle Daisy's desire for a specific cheaply-made princess-type toy, one her father said she could have but that Orenstein feels conflicts with the family's values. Her confusion about how to handle the situation momentarily brings both her and her daughter to tears. Many parents have felt that confusion and gotten hung up on it in balancing their ideals with real-life situations, and the fact that this book acknowledges and attempts to help parents cope with that confusion - without being prescriptive - will be a relief to many. It's difficult to parent inside a culture one is critical of. Commiseration, discussion, and a little guidance help a lot...and this book offers those things.
I also think the up-to-date factor is important. There are many books on parenting girls and teens in a misogynist culture, focusing on bullying, abuse, eating disorders, body image, and so on. There are other books on the influence of media and popular culture on girls and teens. But pop culture, and its impact, change - and parents must keep up with that. Today, focusing on the youngest set (as this book does) seems incredibly important given that corporations are specifically targeting little girls with some very loaded, very influential messages.
Lastly, this book is not overly academic. It's got plenty of research behind it, and that research is referenced and cited within the text and more extensively in the lengthy "notes" section at the back of the book. But the tone is readable, conversational, and meant to illicit thought and discussion. It's a enjoyable, accessible read.
- Reviewed in the United States on December 10, 2012Part anecdotal, part research and a lot of humor makes this book very enjoyable and informative. I finished it in two days. A book like this was needed, as I'm sure many people have noticed the trend of what can only be described as unnecessary cutesieness and girliness. For some reason now EVERYTHING for girl children must be pink. EVERY toy must be inherently girly, feminine or overly saccharine to be marketed to (and liked) by girls. I'm only in my early 20s and the difference between now and my childhood is already intense.
Orenstein did a lot of research at companies like Disney, American Girl, Sesame Street, Nickelodeon, and Mattel. She visited parents of preschool girls, young girls themselves, went to a Miley Cyrus concert and even child beauty pageants. She also spoke to plenty of experienced professionals who have done plenty of studies on gender, girls, child development and more. Unlike many other well-researched books, this is always entertaining, never dry, and easy to digest, even if the subject matter is troubling.
She poses a lot of interesting subjects surrounding this explosion of the pink princess culture for little girls and how that somehow morphs into an overly sexual, materialistic and narcissistic culture for school-aged and teenaged girls. There are also a lot of negative and even frightening implications on not only how exploited children (of both genders) are by companies and consumerism, but how that has had such an extreme impact on the lives of all Americans and our culture as a whole.
The book is also filled with plenty of funny or poignant moments the author shares with her young daughter. She is very opened about what many mothers are rather ashamed of or nervous to admit--that she's constantly worried about messing her child's life up. But at the same time it is clear that Orenstein is a good mother who tries her best; and like all of us sometimes her personal biases funnel her child into thought processes she wants her to have.
The book is definitely one I recommend, and it's very good if you're into gender studies, feminism or are about to/are raising a little girl. It poses a lot of good questions about why things are the way they are and what it truly means to be female. However, like someone put in a negative review this is not a book on how to "combat" the girly culture for your child. This is more of a sociological observation book investigating the girly culture's roots and its effects on girls, boys, parents and society as a whole. But when it comes to "combating" it the author is sometimes at just as much of a loss as other parents on how to stop/prevent it. After all, you can't keep your kid in a box.
Top reviews from other countries
Amazon CustomerReviewed in India on December 11, 20165.0 out of 5 stars Why and how to keep princesses and exclusively pink away..
Sick and tired of princesses and pink, but not sure if and how to resist it... ? This book is for you. No idea what is wrong with princesses and pink? Than this book is for you too.
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ElektraReviewed in France on January 15, 20165.0 out of 5 stars Un livre très bien écrit et à lire par les parents
Très bon livre. A lire selon moi par tous les parents - de filles comme de garçons. Il n'est pas traduit en français mais l'anglais est plutôt accessible. Une bonne critique sur la manière d'élever les enfants, la segmentation des marchés, la folie princesses et les excès aux US qui risquent de toucher la société Européenne dans un futur proche
AliciaReviewed in Spain on June 30, 20134.0 out of 5 stars Great read
I loved it, not only does it think about the impact the whole "disney princesses" industry can have in little girls, it also analyses how the disney and other toy brands use marketing to sell a very skewed version of what it means to be a girl and the possible effects it might have in the future.
Susan RoseReviewed in the United Kingdom on March 5, 20135.0 out of 5 stars Entertaining and thought-provoking
This is a really entertaining and academic book about the prevalence of girly culture.
This book is really well written as points are intelligently made and well researched but also at times anecdotal and humourously put, so it was also a very easy read.
Something I found particularly great about this book was the discussions of the 90's and the girl power movement, (which I have to admit made me a little nostalgic), the disney princesses and the overwhelming amount of pink in girls products.
There is also some good advice in negotiating ideas of gender with small children with some great examples of problems she had when her little girl was growing up.
If you are interested in feminism and the current ideas of femininity that are presented to children, I would really recommend this book
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Apple namiReviewed in Germany on February 18, 20135.0 out of 5 stars Pflichtlektüre
Für alle die sich fragen, ob all diese Rueschen Nebenwirkungen haben könnten. Hier findet man Antworten. Pflichtlektüre für Eltern von Mädchen.





