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Quite a long review, but these are just my personal thoughts, I respect everyone’s opinions but these are mine.
Saw this right when it came out digitally. I don’t even really know where to begin within this, but give me a moment to explain in terms of me as a Kevin Smith fan. To keep it short, heard about him through a friend of mine last year. and did some research about him to know who he is and what he’s done. Saw Jay And Silent Bob Strike Back a few months ago, absolutely great movie. Jay and Silent Bob Reboot, didn’t really enjoy it as I personally felt that it was just a Strike Back remake but with reboot just slapped on.
Now onto Clerks 3. As a person who at the time of writing has never seen Clerks 1 and 2, I wasn’t expecting too much out of it as I do know that Randal and Dante own the Quick Stop as of the ending of Clerks 2. I couldn’t find a moment where I laughed at this. Of course the jokes are what you’d expect, inappropriate and meant for a mature audience but that’s to be expected in a film like this one.
Anyways, onto the review itself. I’m not going to spoil the movie as much as I possibly can as this is one of the first times I’ve ever tried to review something like this, but here I go. In a very basic sense, after Randal has a heart attack {referring to the fact that Kevin had a heart attack himself} he wants to do something with his life instead of watching movies. That very thing, is to film a movie about him and Dante’s life at the Quick Stop. Jay and Silent Bob on the other hand over take the video store and turn it into a legal drug dispensary. Elias {from Clerks 2 who apparently worships Satan} and his friend Blockchain try to market Buddy Christ Kite NFTS. Buddy Christ is a reference to Dogma, and the NFT concept doesn’t make sense. I don’t get NFTs in the sense of using a kite to make millions of dollars out of, but it is the modern times. After Randal gets out of the hospital, he goes on to make the movie hiring people like Ben Affleck, Danny Trejo, Impractical Jokers and many other actors to audition and then gets Jay And Silent Bob in the movie. Totally doesn’t just sound like a parody of how Clerks was made.
And that’s a giant problem with Clerks 3. Besides the Star Wars references, the fact that Randal keeps restating that he had a heart attack, Rosario Dawson somehow coming back from the dead and the NFT, the entire movie is just a giant fan service callback to Clerks 1 and 2. For example Kevin wants to make the movie In black and white as it would give off what working in a store is like, they act out shots from the first clerks movie such as the scene where Jay dances when no one’s watching, the cat using the litter tray and the guy getting his hand stuck out of a Pringles container, and they shot for shot remake the ending of Clerks 2 as many examples. Oh, they even reuse that one reference from Strike Back (If you know, you know, probably can’t say it on Amazon). At this point you’re not even really making a movie. What you’re essentially doing in my eyes, is making almost like a TV sitcom and not a movie part of a massive universe. Rosario Dawson as said before, is in this as there’s a fantasy scene where she and Dante meet and Becky {Dawson’s character} goes on to explain how she did inappropriate acts to people in the afterlife. For context, back in Clerks 2 I’m pretty sure Becky and Randal knew each other for only like, 15 minutes. Veronica (if you remember her from 1994} is here too, nothing special except for how she’s all like “at least I have a family” or something like that but instantly feels awful because Dante lost his own. Randal in this film is a completely unfair person in this movie going on about how Dante wasn’t a huge part of his own life and thinks that Dante isn’t a huge help with the movie he’s making, when in all reality Dante is trying his best which really makes Randal just seem like an entirely bad person. Mooby’s if you remember that place, is here as they try and shoot the donkey show scene from Clerks 2. But of course Dante has another vision of Becky and straight up bails out on Randal. Dante basically breaks down at Randal about how bad everything is because guess what, his wife is dead and how Randal won’t shut up about his heart attack. Here’s an idea, YOU SHOULDN’T HAVE HAD DANTE AS THE PRODUCER FOR RANDAL’S MOVIE. When Randal said he wanted to make a movie I thought he meant like an independent one, but nope a hospital worker told Dante to do whatever Randal wants. If it were me writing it, I would’ve constructed it as Randal wanting to make his movie all by himself and then later on seeking Dante’s help. That way we could see a better vision of Randal’s goals through his own eyes rather than through the perspective of him being interfered by Dante. Speaking of those two, after something tragic happens to Dante {not spoiling it} Randal explains to Elias In the hospital that he needs to finish his movie. So he does, and Randal and Dante watch the movie together. The film is realistically, another fantasy sequence of just Dante clips from the old Clerks movies. It shows Dante and Becky in a theater loving it. Another scene which I’m not ruining happens, they cut back to the store with Elias and Randal. Emma {Dante’s supposed ex played by Kevin’s legit wife who helped Dante finance the movie} comes In and wants her money back or else half the store is hers. Blockchain comes in to rave on about how he made a million dollars off of the kite NFTS and Emma gets her money back. Harley Quinn Smith {Kevin’s daughter and Milly from the Jay and Bob Reboot} re-enacts the milk maid that Kevin’s mother played in the first two films, and then the credits happen.
There you have it, Clerks 3 in the best possible way that I can describe it. Now I’m not one to go off about how Kevin Smith is irrelevant and a jerk, as other people have done it enough online, so I’m not going to. I gave Reboot and this movie a chance. Reboot, didn’t like much but I liked where it was going. Clerks 3, I just found it a bunch of fan service and not really its own thing.
Overall, I find Clerks 3 really disappointing. Don’t get me wrong I enjoyed Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back, I enjoy the Jay and Silent Bob Get Old Podcast and I’m a fan of Call Of Duty which is how I even found out who Kevin was at all as he’s featured in the Infinite Warfare Zombies map Rave In The Redwoods both as a cameo and playable character. I just find it as one of those movies where it doesn’t really know what it wants to be, and that, is a problem. If you enjoy this movie, fine. If you don’t really like it, also also fine. That’s going to wrap this up, I know it was quite long but as I said these are all of my opinions. I respect everyone’s opinions whether they’re positive or not, but I’m just sharing my own thoughts.
Thanks For Reading, and as Jay would say “ Snoochie Boochies”.
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Customer reviews
A Heartfelt Conclusion to the Trilogy!
Reviewed in the United States on December 20, 2022
Kevin Smith’s 2022 film, “Clerks III,” concludes the “Clerks” trilogy. The story returns to its focus on Dante Hicks (Brian O’Halloran) and Randal Graves (Jeff Anderson) working at the Quick Stop Convenience store that they’ve owned since the events of “Clerks II” in 2006. Smith closes out this series with an emotional story that begins with Randall having a heart attack. The events leading up to his hospitalization convince Elias (Trevor Fehrman, reprising his role from “Clerks II”) to abandon Jesus in favor of Satan. After Randall’s recovery, he decides to make a film based on their lives at the Quick Stop, effectively filtering the events of “Clerks” and “Clerks II” – along with other works in the View Askewniverse – through Randall’s directorial eye. Jay (Jason Mewes) and Silent Bob (Smith) help make the film, recreating their earlier exploits. Joining them along the way are Veronica Loughran (Marilyn Ghigliotti), Milly Faulken (Harley Quinn Smith from “Jay and Silent Bob Reboot”), Emma Bunting (Jennifer Schwalbach Smith), William Black (Ethan Suplee), William Black (Scott Mosier), Walt Flanagan, Ben Affleck, and Becky Scott (Rosario Dawson). The story is all heart for fans of Kevin Smith, with callbacks to films from throughout the View Askewniverse as well as his other movies. Each of the “Clerks” films captured a different point in these characters’ lives and this one is no different, serving to represent the final transition into adulthood. Longtime fans will find plenty to love, though newcomers should watch the previous films first to better appreciate this one.
Reviewed in the United States on December 20, 2022
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