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Click: The Magic of Instant Connections Hardcover – Deckle Edge, June 8, 2010
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From Publishers Weekly
There is that special moment when two people click, rather than simply meet. The Brafman brothers (Sway) draw on a variety of sources to find the facts behind instant connections. Some are common sense: "When we get cues that we're liked, we're automatically drawn to like the other person in return." Ingredients involved in clicking are categorized into "click accelerators" such as vulnerability, proximity, and similarity. The brothers examine situations such as job interviews, romantic encounters, and even hostage negotiations to reveal how physical proximity enhances the chances of relationship forming. People described as "high self-monitors" (think The Office's Andy Bernard) pick up on social cues and organically adjust their actions to manipulate the ways in which they're perceived. One interviewee who thrives on the social connections that come from traveling, says "even if it was once and you clicked with them, you have all these people sprinkled across the world. It ends up leading to a lot of wonderful opportunities that enrich your life." Psychology and sociology click into place for an engaging, eye-opening read.
Copyright © Reed Business Information, a division of Reed Elsevier Inc. All rights reserved.
"...serious research explained with interesting real life stories and presented in a short concise format. I think you'll click with it too."--Inc
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My main issue with the book is that the central thesis of the book isn't at all surprising or thought-provoking. This is what I was able to gather of the major points of the work, which the authors sum up in the last chapter:
1. "Magic matters" - the pleasure center of our brain responds when we connect deeply with someone
2. "There's power in vulnerability" - We have stronger connections with others when we are willing to share more personal experiences with them
3. "A few feet make a big difference" - We are more likely to connect with those in close physical proximity to us than those that are further away from us
4. "Resonance begets resonance" - The closest thing to a salient point I can take from this is that when we give others real attention, they tend to return the favor. This back-and-forth leads to stronger relationships
5. "Similarity counts; quantity trumps quality" - We tend to connect with those who we share similarities with. Perhaps the only really remarkable point I found in this book is that these similarities can be entirely superficial; the most important factor is how many - and not which in particular - similarities we detect.
6. "The environment around us can help foster intimacy" - Self-explanatory
7. "Certain people are magnets" - There are some people who tend to connect more easily with others.
8. "Quick-set intimacy can bring out the best in us" - We tend to be more comfortable and civil when we are around people who we feel connected to.
As the list makes clear, there's very little that's surprising in this book. I like books that make me pause or deeply consider their arguments, but as I read this I just kind of hummed along thinking "yeah, of course that's true" more than not. There were various times where it seemed as if the book would reach some genuinely thought-provoking content, but then it shifted back to a superficial level. For example, in the chapter on point 5, the book started to note that humans can form a strong group sense based even on very shallow traits or characteristic, but never really explored why that is.
Overall, it's an alright book, I just expected a lot more than it delivered.
The studies were interesting; and although the writing was easy to follow, I found myself at times skimming, because the author took a little too long making the point. The book has the feel of those news shows on TV like "Primetime Live." Interesting enough to read, but not profound.