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Cloud Dungeon: Fairy Wonderland Kindle Edition
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- File size : 7985 KB
- Publication date : April 15, 2018
- Print length : 314 pages
- Word Wise : Enabled
- ASIN : B07C72XF1X
- Lending : Enabled
- Language: : English
- Text-to-Speech : Enabled
- Enhanced typesetting : Enabled
- X-Ray : Not Enabled
- Best Sellers Rank: #437,754 in Kindle Store (See Top 100 in Kindle Store)
- Customer Reviews:
Top reviews from the United States
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Described design detail: 5-star
Character consistency and development: 2-star
Grammar and writing style: 2-star
I'll begin by saying I *did* enjoy this book, and I *will* be reading any potential "next"; it was a fun read. I'll continue by summarizing the source of my hesitation to type the prior sentence.
Pushing my way through this was difficult. I could feel my grasp on fluent grammar and the presentation of idea and circumstance degrade a little more with every chapter. The sheer amount of repetitive description and exposition between each character and every other is grating. Writing style is minimal to nonexistent.
The characters are simple with slapped-on personalities that belie the sheer amount of life and situational experience the description of their backgrounds imply. I can't tell you how frustrating it is to read of an 800-year old master of their field and heralded royal advisor behave like an adolescent child throwing a tantrum for purely emotional reasons.
What did I actually *like*? The world-building and description, even if delivered awkwardly, is detailed and thoughtful. Much care was placed in the actual creation aspect of this dungeon and its world, and the author clearly has a consistent idea for the underlying rules that govern them. While I'm not sure all of that was relayed successfully, there was no lack of love in this story's construction and telling.
All that said, I will repeat, this was a fun read, and I'll be picking up the next volume if there is one.
While I can excuse the terrible grammar somehow on rrl, where the novels are 'live' written, I believe an author should put some effort in cleaning his work, before selling it for the money. At least put it through some grammar checker. Although, If asked, I'm sure someone on the RRL community would have helped with proofreading this thing. If cleaned up this could get at least 3.5-4 stars from me.
While things like grammarly are far from perfect, a merely poor grammar would be better than the terrible one served here. The author mixes the present and past tense all the time, most of the long sentences should have been split.
In many cases there is clearly some stuff missing from a sentence. It makes the reader second-guessing the meaning hiding behind a paragraph.
Sometimes the author contradicts himself, for example by stating in one paragraph that something is worth 10 times more than mithril, but in the next paragraph stating, that since it has only single purpose it is really cheap.
The slime dungeon series has also originated in the same web novel community, but that author cleaned up his work a lot before publishing it here. I would expect that anyone that moves from amateur/fan writing to professional one would follow the same principle.
In summary - the ideas are interesting, but the plot is average to mediocre, characters are impossibly flat, and the grammar is bad enough to really interfere with reading.