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The Clueless Groom's Guide Paperback – Bargain Price, April 25, 2003

4.2 out of 5 stars 18 customer reviews

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Editorial Reviews

From the Back Cover

This is not your father's wedding . . .

Congratulations on your engagement, my clueless friend, and welcome to a world for which you are sadly ill equipped. You have entered a new dimension. A dimension of china patterns, ice swans, and boutonnieres. You're planning a wedding, and your fiancee expects more from you than a diamond ring and a blood test. So, you'd better get up to speed--and fast.

From the best proposal to the coolest honeymoon, The Clueless Groom's Guide offers light-hearted commiseration, guidance, and a distinctly male take on the entire process of planning a traditional wedding. It gives you a sorely needed chuckle and some surprisingly useful advice to help you get through the many decisions your bride-to-be will pretend to want your opinion on, including:

  • How and where to pop the question--and when to cue the mariachi band
  • Why engagements of over two years are justified only by extended commitments to the armed forces and/or unusually long jail sentences
  • How to pick groomsmen gifts and groomsmen who almost deserve them
  • Reception sites that offer style and originality . . . and why you should avoid them like the plague.
  • And far more than you should ever rightly know about weddings

About the Author

Peter van Dijk has written advertising and marketing communications for such major marketers as American Express, Business Week, CBS Cable, Christian Dior, J.P. Morgan Chase, Merck-Medco, Primestar, and TNN.

His work has won Clio's, Effie's, Addy's and many other advertising industry awards.

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Product Details

  • Paperback: 208 pages
  • Publisher: McGraw-Hill; 1 edition (April 25, 2003)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 0071413723
  • ASIN: B001PO66TY
  • Product Dimensions: 5.4 x 0.6 x 8.2 inches
  • Shipping Weight: 8.8 ounces
  • Average Customer Review: 4.2 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (18 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #4,221,399 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

Customer Reviews

Top Customer Reviews

By Stephen Williams on January 19, 2004
Format: Paperback
My fiancée' gave me a copy of this book soon after our engagement. This was a wise choice and one of the reasons I'm marrying her. The book begins with a man's decision to marry a girl, or at least the decision to ask her to marry him, and then the fun really begins. Throughout the book the author keeps a lively pace full of hysterical cynicism, incredible wit and tremendously valuable insight. Like me, if you really don't have any idea of what you're getting yourself into when you propose, then you absolutely must read this book. You will laugh out loud, learn a lot and finally understand what it's all about.
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Format: Paperback
This is a better wedding gift than china. Van Dijk takes his place at the head of the class of the reluctantly mature. A funny... insightful... practical book. And Taylor Lee's spot illustrations are hilarious and on target, too. Every man should have a well-thumbed copy before he walks down the aisle.
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Format: Paperback
I'm certainly never going to be a groom and probably won't have one in the near future either, but I still loved this book. I also got it for a friend, opened it up to have a look and couldn't stop reading. It's absolutely hilarious and I'd recommend it to any bride as well, although it might be a little scary to know this much about men when you're about to marry one. The illustrations are as funny as the text and the two are a perfect match--the poor groom practically comes to life as you can see the alternate bemusement and terror on his little cartoon face. I can't wait for the next one from this wonderfully funny team.
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Format: Paperback
The author's delightful sense of humor walks a groom through the wedding planning frenzy as painlessly as possible while paying tribute to the ultimate goal -- the joy of a really great marriage! Great advice for anyone who is, was or ever plans to be a groom --- or a bride, for that matter!
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Format: Paperback
The subtitle for this book is "More Than Any Man Should Know About Getting Married," but the information in this book is exactly what every man should know before he gets married. While the information in this book is presented in a humorous way and Van Dijk uses some fairly ridiculous examples, there is also quite a lot of information that is necessary and useful. Van Dijk just makes the book entertaining enough to read that the stereotypical guy is willing to keep reading to get to the good stuff. That's one point that I think I have to make up front. The examples given and some of the descriptions provided describe the groom as the stereotypical man. Most men probably won't fall fully into that category, but it is entertaining reading.
This book takes men step by step through the entire wedding process, from buying the ring right up to the honeymoon. In each chapter, there are valuable tips to be gained. For example, if you read the chapter on buying the ring you will learn what the most common styles are and what style of cut and setting you should avoid at all costs unless you know for a fact that style is exactly what your girlfriend wants. Granted, most men will probably not be reading this book until they are already engaged and their fiancé recommends (or buys) this book for them. That's how I acquired my copy. But, there is still a plethora of other useful information available. Here's another for example: the author strongly recommends against using a videographer, though he does give a list of things to look for and ask about should you decide to use one.
As the groom-to-be goes through the pre-wedding process, this is a book that he should refer back to and flip through the relevant sections. As I get closer to my own wedding, I am certainly going to be looking back at this book. It was entertaining to read, as well as honestly informative. It may seem a little silly at times, but this book is definitely worth your money.
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By A Customer on June 17, 2003
Format: Paperback
This book outlines everything, I mean everything a man needs to know to not only understand the logistics in such an undertaking - but more importantly how he needs to approach the subject of getting married at every step. Peter van Dijk has nailed it, using humor to educate - this is a quick read. Everyone in my office wants to read it next. I recommned that every man who is or is thinking of getting married buy this book now!
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By A Customer on June 20, 2003
Format: Paperback
this book should be the bible for all men who are planning to get married. Since I purchasd the book it has been the topic of conversation with my friends and at the office. On a seriouse note van Dijk has strategically used humor to educate and bring true life examples to lite. Now all men will understand the importance of this wedding for his wife, her friends and mother. I plan on handing my copy to my brother so he can be more prepared. GREAT BOOK!
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By A Customer on June 17, 2003
Format: Paperback
This book outlines everything, I mean everything a man needs to know to not only understand the logistics in such an undertaking - but more importantly how he needs to approach the subject of getting married at every step. Peter van Dijk has nailed it, using humor to educate - this is a quick read. Everyone in my office wants to read it next. I recommned that every man who is or is thinking of getting married buy this book now!
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