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Cockfidence: The Definitive Guide to Being The Man You Want To Be And Driving Women Wild Paperback – January 14, 2011
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About the Author
Sex and Relationship Experts Danielle Harel, Ph.D and Celeste Hirschman, M.A, have worked with thousands of clients helping them realize their full sexual and emotional potential. They are the creators of the experiential and cutting edge Somatica Method of sex therapy and relationship coaching and are training other professionals in this revolutionary method. You can find out more about them at www.celesteanddanielle.com
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Several months ago, a close friend visited a urologist about some “Men’s issues.” It was beyond the doctor’s scope of practice, so he recommended a sexologist to sort through some issues for this friend. It sounded logical at the time, but my friend lives in a rural part of the country. A quick Google search revealed the closest one was almost four hours away. So my friend had a conundrum: How do you take this doctor’s advice seriously? So in respect for my buddy, definitely not me, because I don’t need that stuff, I did another Google search for his sake and found a book with “Cock” in the name of a book; I was intrigued. I explored it a little and decided this would be the best way to help my friend. It seemed legit, maybe just the thing for me- errr, him- to get over some hang ups.
My friend was thankful for the book.
Written by two obvious liberals from San Francisco, the back cover declares: “This book will show you how to find your personal power and have mind-blowing sex and passionate connections with women.” Both women specialize in this kind of therapy and run a blog covering sexual therapy issues. In lieu of actual therapy, this book would have to do.
It is full of good advice and practices, many of which my friend said he already knew, but it was still good to have it reinforced. Cockfidence tells a man how to be a great lover from the perspective of the woman, from the monogamous married man to the philandering single. What does she want? What keeps her interested? They make plenty of pitches for men’s masculinity. In fact, it comes across as something women deeply desire. I’m not talking a mindless brute, but simply a strong, musk-scented, caring man.
As a part of that, they offer sexual fantasies, or, favorite sexual movies. Most men think of a porn scene, while most women think of romantic movies. They tell how essentially both movies are the same. There are a couple hilarious examples in the book.
They offer three types of sexual experiences, playing off of the sexual movies: Romantic, passionate, and dominant. The romantic is easy: Caresses, long kisses, holding each other tight. The passionate gets wild- up against the wall, hanging from the chandelier, and simply going at each other. Then the dominant movie. Some people may lose their minds at this. It’s probably not what you think. It is the man being in charge, giving commands to the woman, not suggestions or requests. He’s taking what he wants. They make the point that this is what many women want too, whether they say it or not. Once you get here in the book, you should realize this. This isn’t bondage, but sex that is satisfying for both parties. You get here and you realize it’s supposed to be exciting and fulfilling for both parties. I took it as a way of clearing up the confusion modern feminism has caused in this area.
This was a strange read for me. I’ve never really sat down to read about sex and how to be better at sex. Reading it and then writing this review, I’ve simply decided to just jump in.
It dispelled some stereotypes or myths, introduced a couple new ideas (Sexual movies are somewhat of a eureka moment) and then it reinforced a few things I already knew, encouraging me where I was timid before. It was strange in a sense that two San Francisco authors, one a self-proclaimed bisexual, gave a good deal of encouragement to the masculine male. They don’t understand masculinity as much as they allude to, but they do a much better job than I gave them credit for initially. In a world where feminists have dreamt a world full of self-impregnating women and vagina cantatas, it’s refreshing that not all feminists are batshit crazy slut-shaming whores.
This book does require practice. There are quite a few things in there that I took as solid nuggets but I’ve since forgotten. My wife is reading it now and when she’s done, I’m going to have to use it for reference. I mean, my friend’s wife is reading it and when she’s done- ah damn it. Awkward. Not like that. This is what my friend said, I swear.