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Codependent No More: How to Stop Controlling Others and Start Caring for Yourself Paperback – September 1, 1986
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"Melody Beattie is an American phenomenon....She understands being overboard, which helps her throw best-selling lifelines to those still adrift."
About the Author
Melody Beattie is the author of numerous books about personal growth and relationships, drawing on the wisdom of Twelve Step healing, Christianity, and Eastern religions. With the publication of Codependent No More in 1986, Melody became a major voice in self-help literature and endeared herself to millions of readers striving for healthier relationships. She lives in Malibu, California.
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Top Customer Reviews
As she states in here, the first step toward healing isn't acceptance, but AWARENESS. I bought this book awhile ago in desperation to see where things went wrong in an awful relationshi(t). As I always did, buying books, workout DVDs, etc, all these things I was excited for that will help me feel better about me and bring a new me! But as always, all those "fixes" collected dust as I lay on the couch or driving from A to B, reflecting, wallowing in self pity and falling deeper into depression. That lifestyle not only was my 20s but teen years as well. A worry wart on tight-rope named Anxiety looking at people live happily...
I wish I could explain exactly where or when I started to see clearly, whichever "quote" I came across that helped me rise above my self-inflicted shi(t)storm... But basically I realized that the most important thing in life is attitude, and no one else is responsible for my emotions but ME. Sure, I was crushed and heartbroken by awful people, what I realized was that's a reflection of THEM. What got to me most was I wanted people to suffer for injustices not just on me but other lives in pain inflicted by mean people and narcissists(which I don't believe is a term to be used lightly). So much pain I've carried around. FOR YEARS.
Finally, while moving and clearing clutter, I found this book again and stopped everything to start reading it. As I stated above, the only person responsible for my emotions is me, and this book delves into this and stretches this fact in ways so many people can comprehend and find a point where epiphanies are inevitable and one can benefit. I feel it to be versatile.
Like many people are saying, it does reference alcoholism quite a bit, which was never really an issue in my circumference of humans, but that doesn't mean I wasn't able to see things in a different perspective, as well as remind me of soo much suffering from friends where alcolohism is the base of dysfunction.
I've always been an empathetic, sensitive person who always feels helpless... and this book is a must-have tool for anyone and everyone who are trying to pinpoint their blame, sadness, indulgences, or whatever is keeping them from being the best person they can be.
As she also states, there is no one definition/one size fits all, which makes maybe everyone a bit codependent IMHO, maybe not as habitual or harrowing as others, depending on ones life chapters/circumstances or situations... But in a way it helped see that we are more relatable.
Definitely recommend for useful tips, and to gain a different perspective that perhaps wasn't computing before. Ha.
So glad I finally read this book, and I hope it brings comfort and light to those lost in their own minds ❤️
As someone who also went through codependency and out myself in the past through several awakening moments, I can also attest that Melody is spot on!
Also, this book is compassionate and profoundly kind. The book is a companion and a constant virtual unconditional loving hug.
Yes I wholeheartedly recommend this book to... anyone interested in the human psyche, for self and others.
I will say this: this book is somewhat about God. If you are like me, you don't care where solutions come from as long as they work. I am a Christian so for me the tone and frequent mentions of God were not really of note, but if you are sensitive to such things just know it is a part of this book although I wouldn't say it is overbearing. You can easily enjoy this and take away plenty of help without being a religious or spiritual person.