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Codependent No More: How to Stop Controlling Others and Start Caring for Yourself, Book Cover May Vary Paperback – January 1, 1992
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The healing touchstone of millions, this modern classic by one of America's best-loved and most inspirational authors holds the key to understanding codependency and to unlocking its stultifying hold on your life.
With instructive life stories, personal reflections, exercises, and self-tests, Codependent No More is a simple, straightforward, readable map of the perplexing world of codependency--charting the path to freedom and a lifetime of healing, hope, and happiness.
Melody Beattie is the author of Beyond Codependency, The Language of Letting Go, Stop Being Mean to Yourself, The Codependent No More Workbook and Playing It by Heart.
- Print length276 pages
- LanguageEnglish
- PublisherHazelden
- Publication dateJanuary 1, 1992
- Dimensions8.4 x 5 x 0.6 inches
- ISBN-100894864025
- ISBN-13978-0894864025
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Editorial Reviews
Review
"Melody Beattie is an American phenomenon....She understands being overboard, which helps her throw best-selling lifelines to those still adrift."
--TIME
About the Author
Product details
- Publisher : Hazelden
- Publication date : January 1, 1992
- Edition : 2nd Revised
- Language : English
- Print length : 276 pages
- ISBN-10 : 0894864025
- ISBN-13 : 978-0894864025
- Item Weight : 11.2 ounces
- Dimensions : 8.4 x 5 x 0.6 inches
- Best Sellers Rank: #46,441 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)
- #1 in Twelve-Step Programs (Books)
- #1 in Substance Abuse Recovery
- #1 in Codependency (Books)
- Customer Reviews:
About the author

Melody Beattie is one of America’s most beloved self-help authors and a household name in addiction and recovery circles. Her international bestselling book, Codependent No More, introduced the world to the term “codependency” in 1986. Millions of readers have trusted Melody’s words of wisdom and guidance because she knows firsthand what they’re going through. In her lifetime, she has survived abandonment, kidnapping, sexual abuse, drug and alcohol addiction, divorce, and the death of a child. “Beattie understands being overboard, which helps her throw bestselling lifelines to those still adrift,” said Time Magazine.
Melody was born in St. Paul, Minnesota in 1948. Her father left home when she was a toddler, and she was raised by her mother. She was abducted by a stranger at age four. Although she was rescued the same day, the incident set the tone for a childhood of abuse, and she was sexually abused by a neighbor throughout her youth. Her mother turned a blind eye, just as she had denied the occurrence of abuse in her own past.
“My mother was a classic codependent,” Melody recalls. “If she had a migraine, she wouldn’t take an aspirin because she didn’t do drugs. She believed in suffering.” Unlike her mother, Melody was determined to self-medicate her emotional pain. Beattie began drinking at age 12, was a full-blown alcoholic by age 13, and a junkie by 18, even as she graduated from high school with honors. She ran with a crowd called “The Minnesota Mafia” who robbed pharmacies to get drugs. After several arrests, a judge mandated that she had to “go to treatment for as long as it takes or go to jail.”
Melody continued to score drugs in treatment until a spiritual epiphany transformed her. “I was on the lawn smoking dope when the world turned this purplish color. Everything looked connected—like a Monet painting. It wasn’t a hallucination; it was what the Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous calls ‘a spiritual awakening.’ Until then, I’d felt entitled to use drugs. I finally realized that if I put half as much energy into doing the right thing as I had into doing wrong, I could do anything,” Beattie said.
After eight months of treatment, Melody left the hospital clean and sober, ready to take on new goals: helping others get sober, and getting married and having a family of her own. She married a former alcoholic who was also a prominent and respected counselor and had two children with him. Although she had stopped drinking and using drugs, she found herself sinking in despair. She discovered that her husband wasn’t sober; he’d been drinking and lying about it since before their marriage.
During her work with the spouses of addicts at a treatment center, she realized the problems that had led to her alcoholism were still there. Her pain wasn’t about her husband or his drinking; it was about her. There wasn’t a word for codependency yet. While Melody didn’t coin the term codependency, she became passionate about the subject. What was this thing we were doing to ourselves?
Driven into the ground financially by her husband’s alcoholism, Melody turned a life-long passion for writing into a career in journalism, writing about the issues that had consumed her for years. Her 24-year writing career has produced fifteen books published in twenty languages and hundreds of newspaper and magazine articles. She has been a frequent guest on many national television shows, including Oprah. She and her books continue to be featured regularly in national publications including Time, People, and most major periodicals around the world.
Although it almost destroyed her when her twelve-year-old son Shane died in a ski accident in 1991, eventually Melody picked up the pieces of her life again. “I wanted to die, but I kept waking up alive,” she says. She began skydiving, mountain-climbing, and teaching others what she’d learned about grief.
Customer reviews
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To calculate the overall star rating and percentage breakdown by star, we don’t use a simple average. Instead, our system considers things like how recent a review is and if the reviewer bought the item on Amazon. It also analyzed reviews to verify trustworthiness.
Learn more how customers reviews work on AmazonCustomers say
Customers find this book to be a must-read for life, praising its practical advice and insightful content. The book is easy to read and understand, with one customer noting it can be reread for deeper understanding, while another mentions it's written in a daily devotional-style format. Customers report it helps them take control of their lives and recognize their codependent tendencies, while also providing therapeutic insights for recovery.
AI Generated from the text of customer reviews
Customers find the book highly readable, describing it as brilliant and a must-read for life.
"Great book. Really made me step back and reevaluate some things in my life...." Read more
"This is a great book at a great price." Read more
"Great read and very helpful. Highly recommend to anyone trying to recover from codependency and have healthier relationships. Five stars." Read more
"Good book. Had some interesting things to consider...." Read more
Customers find the book helpful and practical, describing it as a must-have self-help guide.
"Great read and very helpful. Highly recommend to anyone trying to recover from codependency and have healthier relationships. Five stars." Read more
"...this book is bold and tactful in its delivery...engaging, helpful, and above all...hopeful!" Read more
"...Lots of great info. Activities in each chapter to reflect. Very helpful." Read more
"Great self help book but it has major printing issues. At one point it jumps from page 132 to 197 and certain chapters are repeated...." Read more
Customers find the book insightful, with one customer noting how understanding themselves can be life-changing.
"Very informative and much needed. Adding more information in the Battle against life helps the interactions go smoother...." Read more
"...A great read, great insight and I found it very enlightening, very insightful and very liberating...." Read more
"...book I've purchased about codependency and while I've found it very informative, I find it very centered around alcoholism and Christianity...." Read more
"...having with myself regarding the subject of the book, and it was very enlightening and well researched...." Read more
Customers find the book life-changing and empowering, with one mentioning how it helped them take control of their life and another noting how it helped them through an extremely rough time.
"...This book saved my life and the life of my husband. It is recommended throughout numerous rehabilitation programs and definitely changed my life...." Read more
"Such a life changing book! Such an easy read, but so impactful! It’s not just about alcoholism, but any behavior that is codependent...." Read more
"...Excellent read and life changing." Read more
"Life changing. Worth every penny. Worth much more than the price. And you come back to it over and over again through the years...." Read more
Customers find the book helpful in dealing with codependence, recognizing their tendencies, and improving their relationships.
"Codependent No More: How to Stop controlling Others and Start Caring for Yourself..." Read more
"...to anyone trying to recover from codependency and have healthier relationships. Five stars." Read more
"...It helped with the shame aspect of codependency. It was very relatable. It had insightful examples. And she was honest and vulnerable...." Read more
"Great for anyone in a codependent relationship...." Read more
Customers find the book easy to read and understand.
"This read brought tears to my eyes. An easy read but an emotionally heavy one." Read more
"This book is so easy to read! it is highly recommended by professionals everywhere...." Read more
"...Easy to read and relevant. It will remain in my library for referencing for the rest of my days...." Read more
"Easy read, not clinical text. Very informative, helpful, and draws out the unrealized traits, habits, & needs...." Read more
Customers find the book therapeutic and helpful for recovery, providing insights that improve their lives.
"...because the information and tools are so incredibly helpful and healing...." Read more
"I am an atheist. This book really helped me, but I was a little thrown by the random religious talk...." Read more
"...You owe it to yourself. Highly recommend. Very healing." Read more
"10 STARS!!! This book changed my life and it saved my life!..." Read more
Customers praise the book's writing quality, noting it is well written, easy to follow, and written in language that readers understand.
"...Great book, well written easy to understand and apply. And very encouraging as to the possibilities of healing. As long as you do the work of course." Read more
"...Borrowed mine out so needed to re-order. So much wonderful. Well written, very helpful packed information." Read more
"...It was well-written and well-organized." Read more
"Highly recommend this book. Very well written and it's effective in helping you break the habit of codependence...." Read more
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Top reviews from the United States
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- Reviewed in the United States on September 7, 2025Format: KindleVerified PurchaseExcellent source of wisdom. Real life practices. The beginning feels like a lot but keep reading. Keep going. It’s a great handbook to read again and again…
- Reviewed in the United States on August 10, 2025Great book. Really made me step back and reevaluate some things in my life. My neighbor recommended it, and it was nice having someone I knew reading it at the same time so we could talk through it together. The insights and examples were practical and easy to connect with, and it’s been a big help in shifting my mindset. Highly recommend for anyone working on healthier boundaries.
- Reviewed in the United States on September 29, 2025This is a great book for people with codependency issues. You realize how codependent you really are when reading it, and it will help you to overcome it. I have to admit, it is a slog getting through it because you have to mentally digest the fact that you are codependent, but liberating at the same time. There is a reason it is a best seller.
- Reviewed in the United States on July 30, 2025This book helps to overcome being codependent, if you struggle with being codependent it’s a must read
- Reviewed in the United States on October 31, 2015Format: PaperbackVerified PurchaseI feel I am a prime example of a codependant that I should be studied and questioned by several doctors. Main question they all would ask is "how did you live this long feeling so many.... Negative emotions??"
As she states in here, the first step toward healing isn't acceptance, but AWARENESS. I bought this book awhile ago in desperation to see where things went wrong in an awful relationshi(t). As I always did, buying books, workout DVDs, etc, all these things I was excited for that will help me feel better about me and bring a new me! But as always, all those "fixes" collected dust as I lay on the couch or driving from A to B, reflecting, wallowing in self pity and falling deeper into depression. That lifestyle not only was my 20s but teen years as well. A worry wart on tight-rope named Anxiety looking at people live happily...
I wish I could explain exactly where or when I started to see clearly, whichever "quote" I came across that helped me rise above my self-inflicted shi(t)storm... But basically I realized that the most important thing in life is attitude, and no one else is responsible for my emotions but ME. Sure, I was crushed and heartbroken by awful people, what I realized was that's a reflection of THEM. What got to me most was I wanted people to suffer for injustices not just on me but other lives in pain inflicted by mean people and narcissists(which I don't believe is a term to be used lightly). So much pain I've carried around. FOR YEARS.
Finally, while moving and clearing clutter, I found this book again and stopped everything to start reading it. As I stated above, the only person responsible for my emotions is me, and this book delves into this and stretches this fact in ways so many people can comprehend and find a point where epiphanies are inevitable and one can benefit. I feel it to be versatile.
Like many people are saying, it does reference alcoholism quite a bit, which was never really an issue in my circumference of humans, but that doesn't mean I wasn't able to see things in a different perspective, as well as remind me of soo much suffering from friends where alcolohism is the base of dysfunction.
I've always been an empathetic, sensitive person who always feels helpless... and this book is a must-have tool for anyone and everyone who are trying to pinpoint their blame, sadness, indulgences, or whatever is keeping them from being the best person they can be.
As she also states, there is no one definition/one size fits all, which makes maybe everyone a bit codependent IMHO, maybe not as habitual or harrowing as others, depending on ones life chapters/circumstances or situations... But in a way it helped see that we are more relatable.
Definitely recommend for useful tips, and to gain a different perspective that perhaps wasn't computing before. Ha.
So glad I finally read this book, and I hope it brings comfort and light to those lost in their own minds ❤️
- Reviewed in the United States on August 5, 2025This is a great book at a great price.
- Reviewed in the United States on September 24, 2025Format: KindleVerified PurchaseThis book has so much helpful information to make your relationships better and life a little easier. Highly recommend this one!
- Reviewed in the United States on September 17, 2025Format: KindleVerified PurchaseI felt attacked when I started reading this. It described me so many times. I have improved my life in small ways but it is a journey and this book make me feel hope and showed me a path forward.
Top reviews from other countries
aditiReviewed in India on October 20, 20165.0 out of 5 stars Ultimate self help book for the lost
Format: PaperbackVerified PurchaseA lifeline when you think all is lost. Melody Beattie speaks lovingly, compellingly and reassuringly through her book offering guidance and hope to anyone who has experienced dysfunctional family life. She helps you to literally regain balance and sanity when one's world may be growing progressively crazier and difficult to cope with.
When you feel alone, frightened, overwhelmed and lost...when you feel locked into isolation and believe yourself beyond human help...this book reaches out and lovingly leads you upward out of the dark abyss into sunshine...helping you understand powerful truths at integral levels and helping you discover that there is life beyond the painful chaos that has come to be your life.
Kindle CustomerReviewed in Canada on March 17, 20255.0 out of 5 stars A "prescription" for codependency in a book
Recommended by a counselor. Although it does talk quite a bit about being a spouse of alcoholic, it doesn't take away from the pervasive theme of the book: if you're allowing others to affect you so deeply that you forget who you are - you're codependent. That's my take on codependency. I didn't particularly agree with some concepts of what it means to detach, some of them came across as selfish however I think if you're detaching with integrity, and not throwing others under the bus or lack consideration for doing the right thing then it's ok. This part of the book requires a bit of critical thinking to get through. Overall, I think it's an excellent book, easy to read and follow and is helpful in my journey. It is helping me to get back to my baseline of how I used to be, prior to certain events; it's actually making me feel very calm and compassionate toward myself. Good excercises too. It's thought provoking but not mentally draining. Not much repetition, new concepts in each chapter.
pombagiraReviewed in France on August 8, 20255.0 out of 5 stars Excellent analysis of all too familiar patterns
Format: PaperbackVerified PurchaseKnowledgeable insightful book
Miss HReviewed in Germany on April 20, 20125.0 out of 5 stars It saved me. Thank you Ms. Beattie.
Format: PaperbackVerified PurchaseA coworker recommended this book to me, after witnessing my turmoil of constantly being taken advantage of professoinally and personally. She said, it opened her eyes.
With doubts, I bought this book. I had just a little bit too much from everyone. I wanted to stop feeling like a victim. I did not understand why people think of me as a bitch, even after I did so much for just everybody and none for myself.
This book, saved me.
While devoting a significant portion to discussing substance codependence and dysfunctional relationships (between lovers, friends, families and any human beings), it showed me the most important lesson that I learned: be true to yourself. If there is something you do not like, say no. Do not say yes because you expect a certain behavior from the other person. What he/she does, is irrelevant. What is it that you want to do? And more importantly, what is it, that you do not want to do?
Recognize that, and learn to respond to it.
I do not have anyone in my life who is dependent on alcohol or any substance. But I have experienced the same disappointment when someone you love fails to act responsibly. I used to be angry, sad, depressed and still feel them for many different reasons. Feelings are fine. I have learned, after reading this book, how to react to my feelings.
I don't know whether I would have understood this book 10 years ago. But I do now. If you feel the pain I used to feel (and sometimes still do, because it is a long way to recovery), please read this book. Please feel better and say no to people who take advantage of you. Please love yourself enough to be codependent no more.
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EsaúReviewed in Mexico on July 5, 20252.0 out of 5 stars Mejoren el cuidado del envío
El libro es increíble, de buena calidad, el problema fue el tema del envío, llegó en un estado dañado en la punta del libro que hizo que se doblará esa parte, deberían tener más cuidado con el tema del envíoThe media could not be loaded.
El libro es increíble, de buena calidad, el problema fue el tema del envío, llegó en un estado dañado en la punta del libro que hizo que se doblará esa parte, deberían tener más cuidado con el tema del envío2.0 out of 5 stars
EsaúMejoren el cuidado del envío
Reviewed in Mexico on July 5, 2025
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