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The Collapse of Parenting: How We Hurt Our Kids When We Treat Them Like Grown-Ups Hardcover – December 29, 2015
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Sax's book isn't available for purchase until late December, but if his message strikes a chord, it may be worth a preorder.... [Sax is] sounding some alarms that we'd do well to heed, and for our kids' sakes, I think sooner is better than later.”
[Sax's] guidelines are clear and well-supported.”
The Collapse of Parenting may sound like a lone voice in the world of American parenting these days, but it's a desperately needed one...If you're going to read a single parenting book this year, please make it this one.”
Dr. Bill Bennett
The family unit is in unprecedented decline and under assault from a wide variety of cultural forces. With years of experience and research working directly with parents and children, Dr. Leonard Sax provides an important glimpse into parenting in modern times, where it's gone wrong, and how to fix it. Being a parent has never been more important and Dr. Sax explains how to avoid parenting pitfalls and raise your children well.”
Meg Meeker, M.D. nationally best-selling author of Strong Fathers, Strong Daughters and Strong Mothers, Strong Sons
One of the premier experts on parenting, Dr. Leonard Sax brilliantly articulates the problems parents experience with their children, then gives solutions. The Collapse of Parenting is academic but practical, simple but deep. If you have time to read only one book this year, read this one.”
New York Journal of Books
If you're going to read one book on parenting this year, make it The Collapse of Parenting by Leonard Sax. What makes a good nonfiction instructional book is an author who has extensive real world experience in the subject matter and who has the ability to write clearly. Leonard Sax has both.... This is quite simply a good book that is easily read and will provide sound advice for giving our children the best chance to succeed in life.”
A comprehensive breakdown of where parents have gone awry and how they can get back on track to teach virtue and character to their children.... Sax provides a series of easy-to-follow solutions that help bring parents and children back to the same page, working toward a healthier, more respectful, and conscientious attitude.... With the author's solid advice, parents have a good shot at achieving these goals.”
From the Inside Flap
Many parents are afraid of seeming too dictatorial, and end up abdicating their authority rather than taking a stand with their own children. If kids refuse to eat anything green and demand pizza instead, some parents give in, inadvertently raising children who are more likely to become obese. If children are given smartphones and allowed to spend the bulk of their free time texting, playing video games, and surfing the Internet, they become increasingly reliant on peers and the media for guidance on how to live, rather than looking to their parents. And if they wont sit still in class or listen to adults, theyre often prescribed medication, a quick fix that actually undermines their self-control. In short, Sax argues, parents are failing to prioritize the parent-child relationship above all other relationships. The result is children who have no absolute standard of right and wrong, who lack discipline, and who look to their peers and the Internet for direction, instead of looking to their parents.
But there is hope. Sax shows how parents can help their kids by reasserting their authorityby limiting time with screens, by encouraging better habits at the dinner table and at bedtime, and by teaching humility and perspective. Drawing on more than twenty-five years of experience as a family physician and psychologist, along with hundreds of interviews with children, parents, and teachers, across the United States and around the world, Sax offers a blueprint parents can use to refresh and renew their relationships with their children, to help their children thrive in an increasingly complicated world.
- Publisher : Basic Books; 1st edition (December 29, 2015)
- Language : English
- Hardcover : 304 pages
- ISBN-10 : 0465048978
- ISBN-13 : 978-0465048977
- Item Weight : 14.8 ounces
- Dimensions : 5.88 x 1 x 8.5 inches
- Best Sellers Rank: #379,573 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)
- Customer Reviews:
Top reviews from the United States
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1. Teach your child people skills
2. Stop sedating your kids with powerful psychiatric drugs
3. Spend time with your child
4. Teach your kids humility
5. Educate desire in your child
Top 5 Quotes:
1. “The job of the parent is to teach self-control. To explain what is and what is not acceptable. To establish boundaries and enforce consequences”
2. “Train up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not depart from it. In other words, if you compel a child to behave virtuously, then when he is an adult he will continue to behave virtuously.”
3. “Train up children in the way they should go, and when they grow up and move away from home, you will have improved the odds.”
4. “People often believe that character causes action, but when it comes to producing moral children, we need to remember that action also shapes character. - Adam Grant
5. The average teenager spends 70 hours/week in front of a screen
Below, in a nutshell, are his best points:
-A shift today towards “soft parenting”
-The average teenager spends 70 hours/week in front of a screen
-Don’t praise smarts (or identity)— praise behavior
-More important today: Peers, sports, school, school activities. Less important: Parents.
-Teach your kids people skills
-Spend time with your child. Enjoy them.
-Sedating difficult kids with powerful psychiatric drugs is wrong
-It’s easier to give out a pill than to impose consequences for bad behavior
-“Your son has ADHD!” - shifts the burden of responsibility from the parent to the doctor
-This triad of diagnoses is BS: Autism spectrum / ADHD / Bi-polar
-Today’s students are fragile teacups. It does take much for them to give up and retreat.
-Today’s kids have ingratitude seasoned with contempt
-The question mark in your statements to your kids undermines your authority.
-“Let kids decide” - is harmful
-Your job as a parent is to educate desire
-Change your parenting? Nah! He has a brain disorder!
-There's a transfer of authority today from parents over to the kids
-Failure of parents to assert their authority
-The power differential today is gone:
-Parents don’t teach social skills
-TV shows mock parents and undermine the importance of parents
Parents...be parents, not friends, to your children, they need good guidance and role models. Get everyone off their electronics and be a family.
"Your Lord has commanded that you should worship none but Him, and that you be kind to your parents. If either or both of them reach old age with you, say no word that shows impatience with them, and do not be harsh with them, but speak to them respectfully" - Qur'an 17:23
This book really touches upon something that as a Muslim really resonates with me. Islam teaches strongly the respect and obedience towards parents but even within the Muslim community there is widespread disobedience. And Muslim parents just like all other parents in America are not equipped to handle this nor do they understand how to remedy this.
Regardless of faith or non faith, this is an important book for all parents to read and understand. It is important to rebuild our homes together thus will rebuild our community which will lead to societal improvements.