- Paperback: 336 pages
- Publisher: Touchstone; Original ed. edition (February 18, 2000)
- Language: English
- ISBN-10: 0684854627
- ISBN-13: 978-0684854625
- Product Dimensions: 5.5 x 0.7 x 8.4 inches
- Shipping Weight: 1.6 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
- Average Customer Review: 35 customer reviews
- Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #891,892 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)
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Come Hither: A Commonsense Guide To Kinky Sex Paperback – February 18, 2000
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Bob Berkowitz author of His Secret Life Come Hither is accessible, fun to read, informative, and sexy all at the same time. I highly recommend it.
Dr. Robert T. McIlvenna President, The Institute for Advanced Study of Human Sexuality Dr. Brame is simply the best tour guide I know for your travel in the world of kinky sex.
From the Back Cover
How do you tell your partner that you'd like to be spanked?
-- Where can you find a good dominatrix?
-- If your husband likes to wear your panties, does that mean he's gay?
-- What really goes on at SM clubs?
-- After you tie someone up, what exactly are you supposed to do?
-- Is there such a thing as normal sex?
If you've ever wondered about the ins and outs of bondage, spanking, or cross-dressing, look no further. Come Hither is a frank, friendly guide on how to turn your secret fantasies into satisfying expressions of love and desire. The official resource guide for SM/fetish sex at the Institute for Advanced Study of Human Sexuality, Come Hither proves that a little kink can be a lot of fun.
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She begins with a lengthy discussion of what is normal sexual practice, which is lengthy because the definition has varied so greatly throughout history and in different societies. She then gives the curious reader some simple tests to take to determine their own "Kink Quotient" and "Ready or Not?" quiz "as a guide in your journey towards a fuller understanding of your own sexual identity."
All of us have been puzzled by unexpected reactions we've experienced from certain stimuli. Sometimes the surprise reactions are quite sexual when the stimulus doesn't seem sexual at all. All of us have had reoccurring dreams and daydreams that have been with us for our entire life. Most of us have certain seeming insatiable desires--be it for chocolate, shoes, clothing made of certain types of materials, romance novels where the heroine is carried off by the pirate or the lady imprisoned in the tower is rescued and rides off into the sunset with her knight in shining armor. Many of these compulsions to collect such items as shoes and clothing are really fetishes. Many of our dreams of being swept off our feet by the handsome pirate, barbarian, sports figure, soldier, etc. are also signs of deeper sexual needs and unspoken desires.
What this book does for the searcher or the just plain curious, is to help them to find themselves: to answer unspoken, but nagging questions that have been in their subconscious for as long as they can recall, and once insight is obtained, how to explore those newly discovered worlds. Terms such as "kink" and "fetish" are explained. Relationships such as S&M, D&S, BDSM and "Power Exchange" are defined and illustrated. There is a fascinating section entitled "Talking Points on Sex and God." There is an exhaustive glossary of terms in the back of the book.
The discussion of the differences between Role-Playing (usually private and very temporary) and Lifestyles (permanent and often public) is fascinating. Most everybody fits into the role-playing scene at least sometime in his or her life. Most everyone has experienced unexpected erotic reactions and dreams. It's the norm. Reading this excellent reference book will help people answer some of their unspoken questions and in many cases, get over their dark fears and doubts. It's excellent therapy. Enlightenment is healing.
The book also has all the expected details of the chief forms of S&M, the types and descriptions of sexual toys often included in such play, advice on safe sex, mutual consent and psychological ramifications of such activity plus much, much more. Many readers will discover that they aren't kinky at all, or only a little kinky, or a kink genius, but wherever the individual reader discovers him or herself to be, the reader will have a much deep understanding of the world of kink and the people who inhabit that world. They will also understand why they are so turned on by certain movies, songs, plays, books and people or what they may be wearing. The term "Fetish" comes from a medieval term, which refers to religious relics believed to possess magical properties. They will understand that some people can have fetishes for almost anything including "vaccination scars." There is simply no limit to what some people get sexually aroused over and most of it's pretty harmless. The book also provides ways to tell if one is being abused and what to do about that. If the book does nothing else it will open the reader's eyes to many of the otherwise un-noticed references and erotic symbols found in all art. The book is worth reading even if one is only curious. For others, reading this book will provide a brightly lighted path to self-understanding, peace and unexpected and fulfilling fun. This reader can hardly wait to read the author's other books.
Seller did well too-no complaints.
This book is user-friendly, but depicts a real picture of the many ways kinksters do "what it is that we do".
Definitely a great add to any sexual studies collection!!!